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I suspect my sister-in-law killed herself but the entire family is in denial and claim it was an accident. I have my reasons, though, not the least being how incredibly depressed she was just beforehand, and then the "accident" which was a certain method (I won't go into it) that no half-intelligent person does alone simply because it IS so easy for one to die that way.
And she was a smart woman.
It hurts a lot and I have thought many times that I should have picked up the phone more. I should have packed up the kids and gone to see her. I was exhausted, sick (hypothyroid), with an autistic preschooler who didn't speak and wasn't toilet trained and a high needs infant, and all I could think of was my own nuclear family. I still feel guilty.
Suicide is hard, it's terrible. Everybody gets hurt. I wonder all the time how it would have been if my sister-in-law had been an aunt to my boys, and all of us playing and laughing together and growing older together.
Don't feel guilty. You couldn't neglect your kids, and your own health, in order to spend more time with her.
We are all very limited in what we can do to help anyone.
This guy had actually been friends with my dad, but including him here because I still think about the situation.
"Ben" had received a severe head injury as a young boy, and while his physical issues were immediately apparent, it was not so for his mental/emotional problems.
As I understand it to have happened - Ben had been at a convenience store, had a meltdown and attacked the cashier with a tire iron. He then ran out of the store, onto the highway, and quickly wound up getting hit/killed.
I do not know anyone personally who has taken their own life, though a dear friend tried in the late 80s. I'm actually closer to the one that others would know if I had been successful.
It's so sad reading these. I thought I had never known anyone but I did.
Back in college I applied for a very part time job. I ended up getting a little job correcting essay exams in geography. It was a class I had taken the previous semester and it seemed weird that they would select me instead of a senior or someone who was majoring in it.
Anyway, I did well at it, read them and marked them fairly. I had liked that teacher but I did wonder why he wasn't correcting the exams himself. Later on I found out he had committed suicide. That was sad--he was a nice man.
OP, I hope you are doing well today.
I know the dreams can bring you back to those same feelings you had back when he took his own life.
My SO of 17 years committed suicide last year, 2018. I walked in on him, and I was immediately angry that he was not at work. I didn't see a gun on him, but his face was white and he said "Please, please! Take it easy on me! I'm not feeling well! I'm not feeling good at all, please have mercy on me!"
He left his wallet and phone at home, went across the street to the beach and shot himself right on the sand, near the ocean perimeter.
Days prior, I caught him on drugs and told him that it was the last straw.. That he knew if I caught him one more time, it would be the end of us. He insisted that if I left him, he would hang himself. I never heard him speak like that and thought it was a manipulation tactic.
I still have dreams and nightmares.. that he is still alive, and I am trying to get answers. The guilt feels overwhelming. Particularly since I just saw his daughter a couple of days ago.. we had lunch and had a wonderful talk. But it was still hard.
I am so sorry, everyone here, for the losses that you have suffered.
There was a young man I knew only briefly. One night I walked him home from a concert, he was pretty drunk and a bit melancholy with it. He had asked me if I would go out with him, and I had someone at the time and told him so. He said that my boyfriend was a lucky man. He seemed so sweet and sad. Found out later from his roommate that he'd hung himself not long after that night. There are times I've wondered, if love...mine or someone's...could have made a difference. But I am a little more realistic now, that someone with depression on that level, a partner is usually not likely to be able to save them, they need a different kind of help. Still.
Then there was one of my most treasured friends. His death was ruled an "accidental overdose" of heroin. But I know he was not into hard drugs like that, and he'd been very depressed for months. His housemates left him alone for the weekend and went to a convention, and when they came back, he was sitting in his recliner...gone. He also had a LOT of Xanax in his system. I don't think that his overdose was an accident. I'm not sure if he fully intended to die, but I think at the least he was prepared to roll the dice. It was recently the five year anniversary of his passing. He is very, very missed.
My daughter's college roommate's boyfriend committed suicide. He shot and killed himself right in front of the poor girl. He suffered from PTSD (military) and threatened suicide several times before actually doing it.
There's only one I knew in the military took his own life. He was a depressed alcoholic it seems.
I knew a girl in middle school we were good friends, but over summer brake her dad killed the entire family and himself.
Idk there's a certain level of extra sadness that suicide brings. It's one thing to loose you life to things you have no control over. For someone to get to the point to where they want to end it is just very very depressing. I don't know of any other species that even commit suicide.
70% of all suicides in the US are white males for some reason.
I've known 3 people. 2 of them were in my ex's side of the family. The other was the son of someone I worked with. HIS was the most tragic...to me at least. Maybe because I actually had met this young man, and liked him, even though he was troubled. He was the only child of the man I worked with, and his wife.
What precipitated it, he and his girlfriend were celebrating New Year's Eve at a local hotel. He and his GF were doing drugs in the hotel room. There were screams, police were called, GF is dead. I don't remember exactly, but I think things were bloody. BF is arrested. He gets booked, parents make bond, and the next day, dad gets up in the morning, goes in the kitchen to make coffee...and son is hanging from a tree in the yard.
Before The Great Depression, my family owned a small chain of shoe stores, and each one was managed by one of the brothers.
The store in Brooklyn was apparently suffering business reversals even worse than the others in the small chain, and my uncle who managed that store did not answer his phone for a couple of days. My Grandfather journeyed to that store--to which he had a key--and he found one of his brothers hanging from a pipe in the basement.
Not too long after that tragic scene, the entire chain went "bust", and my Grandfather's life was forever changed by their business failure. However, I think that the sight of his brother's body hanging in the basement of that store stayed with him for his entire life--long after the family's business failure had been put behind them.
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