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Every Monday I find myself with the same existential discomfort. Life just seems to be on an endless loop of work, home, sleep with some relief on the weekends. I have hobbies outside of work that keep me social, creative and relatively fit, yet there still seems to be something missing. I do get moments of intense gratitude and joy, and it's always the little things that mean the most to me, yet I still have an overarching sense of dissatisfaction with the way things are. There's gotta be more to life than a routine.
Can anyone relate to these sentiments? If so, how do you make sense of it and cope?
Yes, I CAN relate to your sentiments because I've given this a lot of thought too.
I think you need to find your primary "satisfaction" and peace of mind internally, not through external activities or other people. This doesn't mean you are a hermit socially or do nothing. It just means that first and foremost, you need to satisfy your relationship with yourself in order to be at peace with whatever else is happening (or not happening) in the world around you. Everything else you may do is secondary to that and subject to erratic change. You are the one person that will always be a constant source of stability for yourself.
Some achieve this through meditation or personal introspection. It comes easier to some personality types (like introverts) than others (extroverts). Introverts tend to get their peace from focusing inward, and extroverts tend to get their grounding from people and activities around them. Neither is better than the other. We all just seem to come into the world one way or the other. So those are the tools we're born with in order to cope with the world. The rest we need to learn. Not always an easy task!
It sounds like what you are missing is that internal peace and stability, instead of focusing on your dissatisfaction with the way things are (or how you perceive it). I often think this is how people are able to survive extreme confinement like being imprisoned. They have to go inside to find their peace, because it's definitely NOT happening around them, nor can they escape it with entertainment and distractions that are so readily available to those on the outside. In a way some are given a gift that is forced upon them by their adverse circumstances - the ability to find peace in a crazy world.
No, I wouldn't say I'm depressed. I have been depressed several times throughout my life so I know what it feels like. I'm actually in a good place emotionally right now (relatively speaking anyway).
I think I will take the advice of the people that have suggested I volunteer. It definitely helps to get outside oneself every once in a while.
Also, I am very spiritual person, and at times I have to ground myself because my head can get stuck in the clouds with thoughts of the otherwordly. I meditate daily, and although I don't pray as often as I think I should, I do maintain a relationship with my higher power.
Thanks for all the input : )
Well that's good. It's nice to hear you don't believe you're depressed. Volunteering and maintaining the spiritual aspect of life sounds like a good idea. I might have missed it, but do you enjoy traveling? Do you have family nearby?
I think you're just experiencing a comfortable life. This is what I call "first world problem".
I think practicing gratefulness is your answer. Yes to volunteering or something along those lines to remind yourself just how lucky you are. Visit a children's cancer hospital, you'll forget all about your blandness woes.
Gratefulness and gratitute are a great tool and also helps refocus the thoughts off of things one perceives as lacking such as excitement and stimulation from a wild life which some people desire.
What I would like to know is, what keeps YOU going?
Naps and coffee
I know where you're coming from C.T. Been there done that when I was a burned out workaholic. I've been retired for nearly three years now, and there are days that are monotonous. Not as monotonous as they were when I was working, and it's much easier to go to a movie of do something different. I'm taking an upholstery class now and it took me on an adventure to Chicago to a fabric warehouse last Sunday.
Sometimes life is about just putting one foot in front of the other. There is always going to be days of discontent, fun, sorrow, and joy. Boring days are great for a bowl of popcorn and a good movie. The problem comes when people fall into a rut of chronic dissatisfaction and can't find a way out. It takes courage to change your life. I have a friend now that's comfortable in her misery. In the end, we all make up our minds on how happy we want to be.
You are in the work phase now, and there just isn't much you can do about feeling the way you do unless you want to change jobs often. I did that four times in my 25 year career. Try to focus on a small thing that makes you smile during your day. It changes those negative thoughts.
Well that's good. It's nice to hear you don't believe you're depressed. Volunteering and maintaining the spiritual aspect of life sounds like a good idea. I might have missed it, but do you enjoy traveling? Do you have family nearby?
Yes I do enjoy travelling and do so every chance I get. Currently waiting on my annual leave to stack up so I can go somewhere. I even enjoy exploring my city (NYC).
CosmicTraveler do you like your job? You sound like a) your job is too stressful or boring and doesnt bring you satisfactions. b) you might be depressed?
What keeps me going? Where do I begin? First I realized that my job was too stressful - software engineer, yes, long hours, deadlines, etc... I found a less stressful job in a company that does not sell software.
second, I identified my hobbies - I have a bunch and I take so much pleasure in them as possible and even implicate myself in the communities built around these hobbies. SO if you ask me, when I retire these hobbies will occupy my full time.
third: help around. for example I helped a young friend to literally create a company and developed a website for her.
forth: besides all these I have all kind of project on the side. last year I flipped a house.
fifth, sixth and so on: I cook, I travel, I host parties, I learn foreign languages. Since I was a kid I told myself that I want to master all romanic languages out there. Done Spanish, will start Italian. I have SO many projects... Time is the thing that it's missing. Yes and everything I do makes me very very happy.
I edit to say that I'm not happy and fulfilled all the time. It is not possible. Otherwise there would be nothing to keep us going. But I'm content with the things that I want to accomplish in my life and that's what keeps me going, even if I suffer set backs.
I think you're just experiencing a comfortable life. This is what I call "first world problem".
I think practicing gratefulness is your answer. Yes to volunteering or something along those lines to remind yourself just how lucky you are. Visit a children's cancer hospital, you'll forget all about your blandness woes.
I was thinking, take your vacation and go into a missionary trip with a church in rural and poor places like Africa, mexico or Latin America. Make a difference in someone else's life.
Aren't activities kind of on a spectrum, everything from deadly dull to bungee jumping. I don't do monotony very well. When that sets in it's time to rev up the entrepreneurial spirit. Put on a pair of stilettos and a short red dress like this girl:
Only one of the greatest pianists in contemporary classical music. No monotony there!!
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It's nice to hear you don't believe you're depressed. Volunteering and maintaining the spiritual aspect of life sounds like a good idea. I might have missed it, but do you enjoy traveling? Do you have family nearby?
