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Are you sure she just isn't saying that because you have neglected projects and jobs around the house. My Dad used to do that...he would 1/2 way finish the bathroom or hallway and start on something totally unrelated and my mother would jab. Or do you promise her to do jobs around the house (like landscape the outside, paint, etc.) and fail to do it? Maybe she senses misplaced priorities?
For the record, my parents were married for 20 years and my Dad had moments where he would prioritize some things and neglect others, and it would come back and bite him in the butt, such as when our tub almost fell through the ceiling because all the other useless stuff came first!
Are you sure she just isn't saying that because you have neglected projects and jobs around the house. My Dad used to do that...he would 1/2 way finish the bathroom or hallway and start on something totally unrelated and my mother would jab. Or do you promise her to do jobs around the house (like landscape the outside, paint, etc.) and fail to do it? Maybe she senses misplaced priorities?
I might have thought this too, but what kind of loving spouse says, "Who exactly do you think you are, and what are you trying to prove?" That's only something I've heard narcissists say.
It reminds me of one of the wedding vows, until death do us part.
At the time of saying that one didn't realize that after many years of marriage that the saying becomes a goal.
I might have thought this too, but what kind of loving spouse says, "Who exactly do you think you are, and what are you trying to prove?" That's only something I've heard narcissists say.
Yeah, that jumped out at me, too. I can't imagine a loving spouse ever saying that to their partner. I have no idea how I'd react to that if my husband said it, but I know it wouldn't be pretty.
does she have a hobby herself? Is there things she enjoys as much as you enjoy making pizza. Often times we get upset at our spouse if they find happiness while we are still miserable. If I go down, he needs to go down and be unhappy like me. It irritates the other partner that you are doing something fun. Maybe she thinks, she has to do too much work herself while you are having fun.
Maybe you can talk to her and find something she likes that she can do while you are doing your pizza. Everyone should have some free time to do as please
Thanks for all your responses. Sure there is info missing, you have no idea, lol. Here is the basis for what I think caused it:
She is from a cold region and so am I. In 2007 we were financially secure and decided to try something new and we blindly moved to the SW for a fun blitz. We agreed it was never meant to last more than a few years. Thought of it as a small respite before we made a major life decision on settling and maybe having kids.
The 2008 recession caused an implosion of real estate in our area and we lost most of the equity in the house we bought a year prior so we sold it and became renters. My inquiries about moving eventually fell on deaf ears and it looked like she was beginning to (IMO) settle us into a life of mediocrity. As such, nearly a decade passes like this and the SW was not working out for me, and so I thought, us in general. We always had to move around because of neighborhood decay and crime due to the lingering economic slump and the 'landlord based' transient nature of the town we lived in. So I proposed a move to back east where I grew up, which was a small college town in MA. I thought moving to a place like this would have benefitted us in the best of ways. After all, we had been relatively successful financially speaking.
Ten years in this slumber and we never could get to talking seriously, time just disappeared and all of a sudden we're going grey and getting older. One night when we had criminals hiding in our backyard I just could not hold it in anymore and finally proposed my idea to get away from a negative life that we really didn't need, all in the name of an arid climate. Over the years she got caught up in reality TV and my proposition was met with fraught, as expected. She told me that she would divorce me if I moved us to the east coast, and that the only place she was interested in moving to was Malibu, CA. She claimed that the east coast is for 'riff-raff' types and certainly not for people with our kind of money. Technically, I could afford something small there but it would be like living in a hut in a fire zone. Not what I really envisioned spending my hard earned money on, nor what I dreamed of doing with my life.
The more I would try to explain my feelings, ideas and dreams, the more she would fall into this reality TV abyss (which we all know glamorizes most all elements in a false manner). Anyway, one day I fell chronically ill and when I attempted to get a diagnosis locally, which lasted for 3 years going through dozens of docs, I was ultimately labeled a drug seeker and left undiagnosed. I became scared that something was seriously wrong with me and I would claim that I would have likely been properly diagnosed years ago back east, but I am stuck here going to these third world doctors from Carson City, NV. She would tell me "This is America, its just what this country has to offer, get used to it", or "Go to LA to see a proper doctor, then... it does not mean you have to move because you're sick". She is right, but conveniently missed the point. We can afford to not have to travel because of sickness.
So I offered up a proposal. I told her that she had a decade to ask me about a move to CA and she only ever brought it up once I proposed a move elsewhere, which was not fair at all. I told her that I'd find a nice place to settle back east and would fly her there to see the house and town. If she did not like the house, the vibe or the town I'd let it go and would agree to some type of compromise. We went, she claimed she loved everything about it and had no idea such a place even existed. Moving along.... divorce ideas fizzled and we actually bought the house. After we moved and on day one, she called the climate dreary, house drab, and town a depressing hellhole. If anyone has ever seen Gilmore Girls, this town is similar to Stars Hollow.
Week 3 I was diagnosed with a congenital spinal disease. It took 3 weeks to get access to quality healthcare where I chose to move to, after being pointlessly shifted around for 3 years in the SW. Is it my fault I did not get the diagnosis sooner? Sure. It is called a flight. But she won't even admit that is regional to this day, and tells me that I got lucky. Ugh...
Recently I started an after work hobby of pizza making. It is all math and precision and poses a great challenge which I enjoy, I love a great leisurely challenge as it relaxes me.
I was hoping to hear all about pizza making that requires math and precision.
I was hoping to hear all about pizza making that requires math and precision.
Would love to talk about it in another thread
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