At what point do older people stop relating to younger people? (father, men)
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I think for some, it's less "don't trust anyone over [age]," and more, "I don't have an interest in anyone over [age].
It's really kind of a "Hey, your loss," situation, when that's the case, though. My grandma, 60 years my senior, died when I was 30. We were extremely close, and I gained so much from our relationship. It's sad to me that many people discount the very idea that you could genuinely hit it off with someone one or two generations removed from you. It's missing out.
I think the message of the OP has become lost over the numerous pages of this thread.
I don't think you should discount older people's input simply because they are old, or because you feel that their concept of reality is irrelevant in the modern world.
The point I was trying to make in the OP is that some older people tend to have very little patience or tolerance for the growing pains and learning curve that younger people experience in their early years. Obviously, I'm a much different person than I was 10 years ago when I was in my early 20s. Perspective and life experience will do that for you. I'm sure in another 10 years, I will have yet a whole new perspective on how I view life.
For what it's worth, I'm 32 and one of my best friends, who is going to stand next to me in my wedding, is a 50 year old homosexual guy whom I've known for almost a decade now. One might wonder what I could possibly have in common with this guy. And truth be told, we disagree on a lot of things. But I also think we thrive off of one another's unique perspectives. He hangs with us and we help keep him feeling young and active, and he sheds light on things that we would not otherwise be aware of as young 30-somethings.
Last edited by Left-handed; 03-06-2018 at 06:48 PM..
It starts with music don't you think? I can't stand the music that the teens listen to today. However, I have to chuckle as my parents were the same way with the music I listened to. I think it's exactly the point of that annoying music to claim something as your own for your generation. And life goes on.....
My mother had a beautiful voice; she played the piano and made us all take lessons but out of 4 of us only 2 of us really loved loved music. My brother and I were the ones who bought records, went to concerts, etc.
I still have all my old albums and when I got married, my husband had pretty much the same stuff I had.
It was just a couple of years ago that our daughter (now 30) got into vinyl - she went through our collection and was kind of shocked - saying things like "Wow, you and Daddy were pretty cool back then" and "I can't believe how many you got autographed" - she was rather impressed by that.
I've been getting into music that played when I was a tween and still was on the radio when I was a teen. I've played a few for her and told her the songs so she could listen herself and she'll e-mail me and say - "wow, that was a good one - I wish I had grown up then"
So, you never know.
My husband actually listens to the more recent stuff now.
There is no point that people stop being able to relate to the issues of younger people. There are just people that cannot relate to the issues of other people.
I agree.
Older people have the benefit of "been there done that", at least. So if older folks can't relate to younger, it's on them. I give younger people a bit of leeway, because they just can't have had all the experiences an older person can, so it's likely harder to relate. I know - I was one of them once! lol
I am a younger acting 50 year old, according to societal standards. I play team sports, like music of all sorts, play the drums, ride my bike for transport and for fun. But I don't pretend I'm some outlier that is so special and that young people think I'm one of them or anything. I just try to be an understanding older person who might have some experience that has a different perspective, and shares some of their interests. Once you and another person figure out a point of common interest, generation gaps disappear.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
Heck, when you're 20 yrs. old, 27 seems old.
My daughter told me a story about her work day yesterday, involving a coworker who is "really young, way younger than the rest of us, she's 19". My daughter is 23.
Older people have the benefit of "been there done that", at least. So if older folks can't relate to younger, it's on them. I give younger people a bit of leeway, because they just can't have had all the experiences an older person can, so it's likely harder to relate. I know - I was one of them once! lol
I am a younger acting 50 year old, according to societal standards. I play team sports, like music of all sorts, play the drums, ride my bike for transport and for fun. But I don't pretend I'm some outlier that is so special and that young people think I'm one of them or anything. I just try to be an understanding older person who might have some experience that has a different perspective, and shares some of their interests. Once you and another person figure out a point of common interest, generation gaps disappear.
My daughter told me a story about her work day yesterday, involving a coworker who is "really young, way younger than the rest of us, she's 19". My daughter is 23.
What standards? Fifty isn't old-old, it's not even boomer generation. I don't know any fifty year olds who are not active unless they are disabled.
The thing too many older people don't do is to keep up with what is going on with the youth, particularly the dark sides. It's important to know what the "future" is really thinking. I was shocked the people who allowed Nicholas Cruz to move in with them with his guns didn't even do a quick social media search on him. The lawyer said they weren't computer savvy or something.
I just refuse to try to get into any of the things that are popular now, I really hate it all from music to fashion to movies to social media. But it is important to know what is going on. I am shocked how little some parents know about what their kids are doing online or if they do they don't take it seriously.
What standards? Fifty isn't old-old, it's not even boomer generation. I don't know any fifty year olds who are not active unless they are disabled.
You missed my point. It's not that I'm pretty active. I know a lot of people way older than I am who are plenty active. It's my choice of activities. I get lots of raised eyebrows from people my age who I know outside of those circles.
You missed my point. It's not that I'm pretty active. I know a lot of people way older than I am who are plenty active. It's my choice of activities. I get lots of raised eyebrows from people my age who I know outside of those circles.
Could be where you're living, maybe?
Everybody around here bikes and so on, certainly at 50. As for music, my husband and I have had this conversation. Again, who knows, it could be based on where we're living but he noticed at some point that the kids and we love the same music. Just basic stuff. Alt rock (I hate calling it that, it's not an alternative to anything anymore, LOL, I think of it now as just status-quo basic tunes but you get the idea), plus a whole lot of other genres. I will flip through buttons while in the car and the kids will stop me, "I love this song!" and it's almost always a song I already was going to stop at.
I think the "differences" in music generation to generation are getting minimal.
However: kids do various things to separate themselves from adults and some of those things, actually, pretty much all of those I leave alone. Being "different from" adults is IMPORTANT at a certain stage of a child's/young adult's life so they can branch off. It's natural. I don't swing around going "I'm just like you...ya dig? Twenty-three skiddoo! Look how kewl Mom is, homes! Skid skid cul8r!" making my kids turn green and run for the restroom with a hand clapped over the mouth or anything like that. It has ALWAYS been normal for very young people to symbolize "breaking off" from parental rule by doing things somewhat differently. In the past that has included music but just in the past couple decades I notice that isn't so much a "thing" anymore.
I like some technically "young" stuff but I legitimately like it. Like some forms of fashion, but not all, certainly. And OTOH even when very young I HATED some trendy stuff, including some lingo. So if I LEGITIMATELY connect with something, sure, I'll go for that thing but it's always kind of transparent when an older person is trying to "casually" just happen to "relate to the kiddies" and IMO it's cringe-worthy so I steer clear.
I'm 39 with teenage sons. They don't think I know nothin' about nothin'. Although my younger kid did surprise me not so long ago, talking about a kid in school who plays electric guitar, and asking me about metal bands, and remarking that his friend was familiar with my old favorite band and that was cool. Mostly though... Yeah, there is some gap there.
For me, I feel a frustration that when I was a teenager, I was determined to do what I wanted and to do it on my own if no one would help. If I wanted to get across town, and no one would give me a ride, I'd figure out the bus. With only those little brochures they had. I'd walk if it was walkable. Now, we all have cell phones, and the bus has an app that tells you not only where the bus stop is, and what time to go, but where the bus is right now and how long until it arrives. Are you kidding me? I feel like if I had the tech that kids do today, I'd have been unstoppable. And my kids have all of this knowledge, everything they could possibly ask, right there in their hands, but they don't bother to use it. They ask me to drive them 2 blocks down the street, and I tell them to walk, and they huff and sigh and don't go. Wow.
I feel like somehow, in being SO engaged with screens sometimes, they aren't at all in touch with the real world. Not even with respect to using the devices to help them accomplish anything real. They seem to think they can make a living playing video games and streaming to Youtube. Heck, maybe they are right. I was skeptical of crypto-currency, I mean, to me it seemed pretty nebulous, like putting real money into something that doesn't truly exist, like video game cyber money or something. But I've got friends who have gotten rich from buying and selling Bitcoin at the right time. So maybe times are changing, and things that I struggle to see the value in, are real enough to the kids. I dunno.
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I was thinking about this the other day
Being "different from" adults is IMPORTANT at a certain stage of a child's/young adult's life so they can branch off. It's natural. I don't swing around going "I'm just like you...ya dig? Twenty-three skiddoo! Look how kewl Mom is, homes! Skid skid cul8r!" making my kids turn green and run for the restroom with a hand clapped over the mouth or anything like that. It has ALWAYS been normal for very young people to symbolize "breaking off" from parental rule by doing things somewhat differently. In the past that has included music but just in the past couple decades I notice that isn't so much a "thing" anymore.
