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I answered Kara's question[/b] "Where did I ask why my thread went downhill? (It's not my thread!)" because I remembered that she had asked that very question recently in the course of this thread. I made no other comment on her or anybody else. I find your including me in your list of less than pleasant online discourse interesting, and frankly not particularly pleasant.
Why do people post question threads if they are not open to other viewpoints? The very point of a discussion forum is to gather varying perspectives. They're not all going to ring true for us, but I believe an open mind is essential for personal growth.
I feel the need to try to explain this misunderstanding. If I would choose not to reply to you then perhaps you would believe me to be "dissing" you so regardless I will try to explain it as there is nothing I can do about it now except to say...I apologize (and I want you as well as the cd community to know I'm sorry about this).
Truth be told, I should have included the post you were replying to (Kara's question). I did think about it and then thought it would really get "tangled up" and so I didn't. I did not want to "muddy the waters" further, LOL (just to clarify...lol at myself), but apparently, I did ("muddy the waters").
Also, you may or may not realize that I anonymously "repped" you as well.
Please don't let this be the reason that in the future you consider me your antagonist because I am not and 99% of the time I am not a snarky or adversarial poster.
Generally speaking of course, as there are times when "I give as good as I get", however I do not go around looking for threads/posts to start trouble or "forum wars". Truth be known, I really do avoid all threads and posts which are inflammatory in nature...who needs the BS, I don't and I'm sure nobody else does either.
ETA: P.S. I also repped every post which I quoted along with yours as I thought everyone made a point of pointing out...well, I'm just not going to go there. But you all know what I'm talking about; I hope.
I would say, without unnecessary commentary (or adding fuel to the fire) on my part, the above posts speak volumes to the various reasons why and how [/i]we[/i] find ourselves in less than pleasant online discourse. JMHO
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC
+1.
Thank you LLCNYC, I do appreciate that you "got" what I was trying to say. And for anyone else who I may have offended, I apologize to each and everyone of you as well, sincerely!
I'm at the point in my life where, I'm not out to win a popularity contest....and I just don't care about what people think of me online, and also, if you (and I don't mean you personally) but if you are so shallow minded to not be able to understand, that, we all own our personal cultures, we were raised to think and believe different ways, you cannot force your opinions and beliefs down the throats of others, and if you try, your not only making it worse for yourself, but worse for the cause, as well.
Just b/c you think one way and I think another, doesn't make you right and me wrong, or me right and you wrong, our thoughts and beliefs, make us who we are....
and I suppose that it why people take offense so quickly, it's not about the fact that your wrong per say, it's the fact that they feel your attacking them....understand?
plus you can't see the person's face your corresponding with, which makes it sometimes difficult to discern what they mean and how they mean it. If that makes any sense?
I post with what I would believe I would do in a situation and if people disagree that's fine.
But there's a difference if they are rude a**ess about it. You don't have to like me, or what I say (I don't really care).
But please don't disrespect me cause you disagree cause I will hand it back to you.
This isn't directed towards you but in general. I refuse to put up with rude people and don't have to tolerate it.
That's why my ignore list has over 30 people on it.
I post with what I would believe I would do in a situation and if people disagree that's fine.
But there's a difference if they are rude a**ess about it. You don't have to like me, or what I say (I don't really care).
But please don't disrespect me cause you disagree cause I will hand it back to you.
This isn't directed towards you but in general. I refuse to put up with rude people and don't have to tolerate it.
That's why my ignore list has over 30 people on it.
The thing is even IF one trys to have a come back to those rude people, it's called bickering and very often so much is deleted. Lots of favorite pets as I see it.
The meaness continues and I just got blasted in the Health area, a lot of hotheads and probably on too many meds themselves. Too many meds can mess with the brain or some are just plain mean. And getting to others helps them feel superior. Mindboggling, but not really. The world is full of hotheads.
I have read multiple times that the source of undesirable reactions is an inability to identify fear which has two main behaviors: avoidance or violence. What one author suggested is that we often don't recognize the fear and blame less desirable reactions on lack of respect or manners, or lack of responsibility. Identifying the source of bad behavior incorrectly can cause the whole situation to be handled ineffectively and inappropriately.
I will say that respect is one of the most subjective human behaviors because many times it is dependent on the status of a relationship. For example, being appreciative can be a sign of respect. But what if I receive a gift I don't want? If I show anything less than appreciation, we call it disrespectful. Or if the person has given it multiple times but hasn't taken the "hint" (avoidance by me), we call the giver rude. But what is happening is that the person is forcing something on me. This forcing violates my "safety" space and is considered violence. It is also a sign of fear by the giver. My inability to tell them "no" is avoidance, but we call it respect. In this situation, respect is difficult to observe, but the behaviors of fear can be identified and observed.
I will admit, the word violence seems strong for situations like this, but I do like the simplicity of the theory.
bluemonday Interesting thread - I have been on City Data for years, mainly as an occasional reader/lurker, but not always as a poster. I have to say the crowd is much tougher these days, and is getting tougher every year. I am not sure what happened to C-D, and other places of the net. Where they used to be friendly/inclusive places, they are breeding grounds for arguments. C-D is no exception, and I think maybe there is just an underlying angry sentiment in society where people feel their "safe space" is lashing out at others who are not in lock-step agreement with them. On the other hand, some posters can instigate arguments too. It's like they are seeking a provocative reaction. This forum has provided some solid information for me in the past, and I have tried to help others with relocation information or area information. However, if you linger too long and see arguments fester and posters get out of hand, it can just make a few minutes of trying to repel boredom by passively looking at the internet seem like a huge mistake.
what has happened is, times have changed...many of us are seeing what you are seeing, people who are so angry and feed off of arguing...but honestly, the goodness in those abound, and people see those posters for who they really are....
I have also noticed a grave thing, that people don't seem to be able to laugh at themselves any more...they can't make jokes about themselves and take so much as a personal assault. They don't know how to allow others....sad, isn't it....
The thing is even IF one trys to have a come back to those rude people, it's called bickering and very often so much is deleted. Lots of favorite pets as I see it.
With all due respect jh, sincerely...it's not what we say but rather how we say it (yes, even with the written word, attitude is everything) which may or may not get us into trouble with the mods. JMHO, of course.
I hope I don't regret this post but I am going to go out on a limb here anyway.
You have said that you have a lot of "haters" in regards to your posts concerning alternative health, hospitals, doctors, medicine, big pharma and the various supplements you promote. But I would disagree with that because from reading your posts it seems to me that you have as many if not far more "lovers" than "haters". I have repped you on occasion myself .
As in real life, we take the good with the bad and try to avoid the unpleasantries of doing business with our fellow man. It's definitely not a cake walk or for the faint of heart among us so best to always proceed with caution and reverence.
I hope you have less "haters" and even more "lovers" as time goes on, as it appears to me it has.
LOL, see the post above mine, yet another "lover" of your informative posts!
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