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Hmm. Well, I've dated two women in my life that *might* have been smarter.
One was when I was in high school. She was smart, but I don't believe she was smarter than I am. I was in gifted programs growing up, Mensa, etc, while she was not. Don't know if she actually tried to get into Mensa, but she was not selected to be part of the gifted program in our school district.
Problem with her was that she always acted like she had something to prove. Always wanted to prove that she was the smartest person in the room. That got old pretty quick so I ended it.
The second one was during my early 30's. This girl might have been legitimately smarter than me. She was a Mensa member, always did very well learning new complicated trading formulas, etc. Dated for a short time but ultimately we just weren't compatible. I wouldn't have had a problem with her being smarter than me, she didn't try to make her intelligence a competition with anyone.
My wife is smart, but not as smart as I am. But I married her because she has grit... which is sadly lacking with most people, especially younger people today. She came to this country without knowing the language, enrolled in school while working two jobs, and had no help doing it. She's mentally tough.
I've always dated women with a certain minimal level of "smartness" and education (masters or higher - and not a basket weaving masters: MBA, molec bio PhD, JD, etc).
Was one of them smarter than me? Probably. Was one of them not as smart? Probably.
But because there was always a minimum level set, it didn't make any difference one way or another in our relationships.
I had to respect them for the whole package first. And be attracted to them.
I don't get how somebody can be smarter than someone else. We have different talents and abilities unless there is some challenge such as mental retardation. Both my daughters are very intelligent but they have chosen a different path than me. While they have no clue about how their vehicles work (and no interest in learning, that's what I'm for) it doesn't mean they're stupid. I could learn their skill sets if I didn't slowly go insane in a cubicle or office.
I don't get how somebody can be smarter than someone else. We have different talents and abilities unless there is some challenge such as mental retardation. Both my daughters are very intelligent but they have chosen a different path than me. While they have no clue about how their vehicles work (and no interest in learning, that's what I'm for) it doesn't mean they're stupid. I could learn their skill sets if I didn't slowly go insane in a cubicle or office.
I think it's a matter of processing time. One person whizzes through college (I did an undergrad program in five semesters), and the other is like, see.Spot.run.
I read an article many years ago about how professional women sometimes have problems finding husbands and how many turn to blue collar workers who may be very smart and attractive but aren't in the so-called professional classes. It was in fact recommended that women do this. That was some time ago when the stereotypical behavior of professional men was to chose a wife and mother figure who did not work or did not pursue a career.
In my parents' era, a wife who worked outside the home was an embarrassment to her husband as her having a job indicated he was not able to take care of her, or of his family. That day has long passed, but dad would not let my mother work, even if she had been so inclined or they needed the income.
There was a whole host of things back then (I guess prior to the '60's, maybe?) that are different now. But in the first half of the 20th century intellectual women were sometimes referred to as "bluestockings," and it was not a flattering characterization.
Processing time is a factor but for some of us it's what is interesting. I can read and understand technical manuals for just about any kind of industrial equipment, easily understand electrical schematics the size of a front door and I got Ds in English in highschool. Math and science were easy for me too, they were interesting. I never had problems with fractions where many people I know did.
If you use a ridgid template to define intelligence you're going to end up wasting a lot of potential.
I've never met a woman who is less intelligent than me. I have known women with different talents. The woman who helped me raise my daughters was not good at science and math but as a comminicator and planner she had no equal that I knew.
Yes and I would enjoy the stimulating conversation. I would also date/marry a woman who makes a lot more money than me and I would have no insecurities whatsoever.
Yes and I would enjoy the stimulating conversation. I would also date/marry a woman who makes a lot more money than me and I would have no insecurities whatsoever.
It's wonderful that you feel that way, and it's smart, too, given that women have continued to be offered more opportunities in the workplace and will likely continue to approach the earning power of upper echelon men.
I'll be 68 in a couple of months, straight, and in a lifetime of dating, marriages, being widowed once, and love affairs, I've been rejected (who cares, so what!) more the once for (a) being too tall (6'3"), (b) using pretentious words (e.g., "film" for "movie"), (c) "talking too much about computers," and, in general, too bookish, too rich, too educated, too liberal, too freethinking, too "artsy" and so on.
Too, too, too. Their loss. From my current perspective, I'm glad those men rejected me, but when I was young it was painful.
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