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The problem with the word "creepy" (and "creep"), is that it was hijacked over the last 20 years. It's become a stronger form of "unattractive". It went from being a cautionary word about dangerous men, to a slur used against a specific type of men. I'm talking about stable providers: they make good husbands, but don't/can't trigger emotional arousal in women. For many reasons: they're not very attractive, they're not smooth talkers, and/or they're not socially dominant. In which case, when women say "creepy", they're not talking about danger; heck, most such men aren't dangerous. They're talking about those men's inability to trigger emotional arousal. Women hate it; hence, "creepy".
While the word "creepy" is still used in its original definition, like the man who follows you around at a train station, today, it's far more common to hear it in its hijacked definition. Which is causing it to become watered down, which is caused women to be taken less seriously when they say it, which puts women in harm's way by not protecting them against actual creepy men.
In other words, in a woman called a man creepy back in 1988, people around her would look out for her somehow. Today, they're likely to dismiss her statement as simply finding him unattractive.
“Stable providers” are overall the diametric opposite of creepy and by the way, DO turn their women on.
Say a person who gives off a very unstable and bitter vibe and makes women feel like he could snap at any second and hurt them while he's at it. That is creepy, and therefore unattractive.
Especially since the majority of people responding here are mentioning behavior that is threatening or distressing. I think that, overall, people who are perceived as creepy are perceived that way due to behavior, versus appearance.
This was the original, proper definition of "creepy". The one I actually agree with. I was referring to the hijacked definition of "creepy", the way many people use the word today. Which is indeed code for "unattractive". And the reason the hijacked definition spread so quickly, is that the proper definition was so negative: it became an easy shaming tool.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
“Stable providers” are overall the diametric opposite of creepy and by the way, DO turn their women on.
Yes and no. At a certain time in their lives, women do want to find a stable provider to settle down with, with attractiveness becoming a lower priority at that point. But outside of that, stable providers (in contrast with naturally desirable men) are the epitome of unattractive. And pretty much any action will be perceived as creepy, when performed by an unattractive man.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 03-24-2018 at 11:35 PM..
Yes and no. At a certain time in their lives, women do want to find a stable provider to settle down with, with attractiveness becoming a lower priority at that point. But outside of that, stable providers (in contrast with naturally desirable men) are the epitome of unattractive. And pretty much any action will be perceived as creepy, when performed by an unattractive man.
No again. "Stable providers" can be just as attractive - where are you even getting this??? It is so odd.
Very very attractive men often want to settle down too. MOST people will ultimately marry nor cohabitate, willingly, so that obviously includes loads and loads of cute, sexy guys. It definitely doesn't have to be a choice between hot and stable. At all. Because women want both, and men know it. Just as men want both, and women know it.
No, every action by an unattractive man is not creepy.
I don’t think people are being completely honest here- Yes, behavior is easily deemed creepy BUT, someone you find physically attractive can often get away with behavior that would be deemed”creepy” by someone you find unattractive. We all have personal biases that effect our initial physical reaction to others. When I see Snoop Dawg doing the Poker’s Wild commercials, I have an immediate strong negative reaction. There is simply something about his physical appearance, his body language, mannerisms, that gives me the ‘heebie Jeebies”. It’s an honest, if unfair reaction. And I think most people have similar reactions to certain physical characteristics and/ or mannerisms. It’s human nature. So, Those biases play in.to what someone interprets as creepy, IMO.
This was the original, proper definition of "creepy". The one I actually agree with. I was referring to the hijacked definition of "creepy", the way many people use the word today. Which is indeed code for "unattractive". And the reason the hijacked definition spread so quickly, is that the proper definition was so negative: it became an easy shaming tool.
Yes and no. At a certain time in their lives, women do want to find a stable provider to settle down with, with attractiveness becoming a lower priority at that point. But outside of that, stable providers (in contrast with naturally desirable men) are the epitome of unattractive. And pretty much any action will be perceived as creepy, when performed by an unattractive man.
I think we have the crux of the miscommunication here. If this is the case and I have no idea how many times you men have had the term applied to you or your friends, then are we talking about a much younger crowd than the group you're having a discussion with now?
I could be wrong, but I don't think we have any 18 yo chiming in at this point though you may be younger than most of us, judging by your name. The fact of the matter is that words do change over the years and sometimes by quite a lot so it's possible than you have a lot of bratty young girls tossing the word out to get guys to leave them alone and I would have no way of knowing that but I do have memories of persistent young men and sometimes I would have to say practically anything to get them to leave and as mentioned before, I really resent being forced to be rude. It doesn't happen as much these days and TG for that...one of the perks of aging I think.
And then while considering this problem, I did recall another sense of using the word "creepy" as a young woman and that was when much older men were chasing me and trying to get me to go to bed with them. Few of us college girls were interested and we did think it was creepy, and especially since many of those men were married. Ugh. Still, we would never have tossed that word in their face unless they truly would not leave us alone. I remember losing my job over one of these guys once--my very married manager tried to kiss me one night after taking me back to my dorm in a snowstorm and I muttered something about just being friends and that was the end of that job. I never said any bad words to him either but I still think of him as a creep.
In the sense of unattractive, I have never applied the word creepy to such a man--that's just stupid. I'm not attracted to most men so I'd be tossing the word everywhere, and I'm not attractive to many men either so I'd have to use the word on myself. No thank you.
I don’t think people are being completely honest here- Yes, behavior is easily deemed creepy BUT, someone you find physically attractive can often get away with behavior that would be deemed”creepy” by someone you find unattractive. We all have personal biases that effect our initial physical reaction to others. When I see Snoop Dawg doing the Poker’s Wild commercials, I have an immediate strong negative reaction. There is simply something about his physical appearance, his body language, mannerisms, that gives me the ‘heebie Jeebies”. It’s an honest, if unfair reaction. And I think most people have similar reactions to certain physical characteristics and/ or mannerisms. It’s human nature. So, Those biases play in.to what someone interprets as creepy, IMO.
I admit. There are some behaviors exhibited towards me that when a guy acts that way towards me, I find it a little more creepy. But when a woman does that same behavior to me, I find it rather intriguing
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"Stable providers" can be just as attractive - where are you even getting this??? It is so odd. 
