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[quote=michael917;51452404]The DMV office closest to me opens at 8:00, but there is always a line down the street by 7:00 that gets longer as the day goes on. I suppose one could bring a book if you don't mind reading while standing up. Anybody going there knows this will happen, and on top of that you are somewhat likely to (after standing in that line) be told they won't help you because of some triviality. This is why my own preference would be to drive 30 minutes to another location.
The other locations I mentioned are not DMV offices, and in general have only a handful of people waiting at any given time. So, despite the longer driving distance, you will be done faster with minimal-if-any stress.
I do try to be tolerant of the different ways people do things. It just makes me wonder when a person often chooses what (to me) seems the more unpleasant option.[/quote
This has everything to do with personal preferences and individual tolerance for various things, and little to do with logic.
If it were me, I'd rather spend the time in a waiting room than driving far out of my way to avoid a wait. At least I can use the downtime to read, something I can't do while driving for 60 minutes. For me, that would be the better choice.
If you assign your own values to other people''s motivations, that is never very effective re: understanding them.
I agree, but you might be interested in reading Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman.
This has everything to do with personal preferences and individual tolerance for various things, and little to do with logic.
If it were me, I'd rather spend the time in a waiting room than driving far out of my way to avoid a wait. At least I can use the downtime to read, something I can't do while driving for 60 minutes. For me, that would be the better choice.
If you assign your own values to other people''s motivations, that is never very effective re: understanding them.
Our thinking mind is much more recent in evolution than the feeling mind, also known as the limbic system, which all mammals share. A lot of people try to spiritualize emotions but truthfully emotions are just an evolutionary adaptation to try to get the animals to survive, just like thoughts are.
However, the cortex and the limbic system speak different languages. This is why a person can have a lot of booksmarts but still do poorly in social situations, because knowledge doesn't necessarily translate to experience.
Emotions override logic in many, if not most people. Emotions are why women go after the bad boys and put nice guys in the friend zone, and then go on facebook complaining they can't find good men. I guarantee you every non overweight woman has at least one good man they could have ended up with that they friend zoned in favor of the more exciting man.. it's because they are 'born that way' and 'genetically wired' to want to feel certain emotional states, which override logic in virtually all cases because logic is simply too recent an evolutionary development to compete with these strong, chemically driven urges.
There's an evolutionary reason for the alpha/beta complex among the females that has to do with trying to survive. The same can be said for people who lie, deceive, etc. Nature doesn't care if you're telling the truth, it cares if you pass on your seed to the next generation and your offspring survive to do the same. Those people are all that nature cares about. Nature is cruel and harsh and deals with a harsh reality about our species and animals in general many people don't want to admit exists.... nature is not really pure and pristine, it's dog eat dog with all organisms competing for resources to survive. Emotions are not "spiritual" and this idea of soul mates is just oxytocin circulating through people's bodies from urges that go back to before we were even homo sapiens.
My first reaction to this post was: "Tell us the real story...tell us what really happened."
However, this bit
"Emotions are why women go after the bad boys and put nice guys in the friend zone, and then go on facebook complaining they can't find good men. I guarantee you every non overweight woman has at least one good man they could have ended up with that they friend zoned in favor of the more exciting man. it's because they are 'born that way' and 'genetically wired' to want to feel certain emotional states, which override logic in virtually all cases because logic is simply too recent an evolutionary development to compete with these strong, chemically driven urges. "
Let me rewrite that for you:
Emotions are why men go after the most attractive women and put plainer women in the friend zone, and then complain that they can't find a good woman. I guarantee you that every non overweight man has at least one good woman that they friend zoned in favor of the more physical alluring woman. It's because they are 'born that way' and 'genetically wired' to want to feel certain emotional states, which override logic in virtually all cases because logic is simply too recent an evolutionary development to compete with these strong, chemically driven urges."
In other words...everyone wants someone or something that feels really good and satisfying to them, per their desires. What's more logical than that?
My partner, who is completely able-bodied, will spend 10 - 15 minutes in very crowded parking lots just driving around looking for a prime parking spot. I will park in the farthest, first available spot and just walk the distance, whatever it is. Neither of us understands the other's choice!
Please give some support for all that's in red. And, do men have emotions? Do men run after "bad women"? Stop singling out females and even better - stick to the original topic instead of what sounds like a failed dating life.
Most people are out for themselves, men included. This is an evolutionary adaptation to the threat of always being killed by different groups of people. People make illogical decisions because the urge to act on the limbic system (short term gratification) is much stronger than the long term will of most people to look at the big picture and long term goals, men included. Looking at long term goals takes discipline or a good upbringing.. we are not naturally wired to think that way, and those who do usually get to high places in society... whether they are benevolent leaders or not, that part never mattered. Good people skills and good liars typically get into power. Tell people what they want to hear. Give them a nice story to make them "feel good" or just plain be good looking, man or woman, and you have a natural advantage. Of course back then long term thinking when you were not in a position to be doing it, like trying to start some uprising of whatever culture was in power at the time, was likely to get you killed. Another reason it's somewhat uncommon. How much freedom do we really have? We are blessed to live in a culture with such opportunity and freedom of information. Let's hope we can stay that way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by typical_guinea_pig
My partner, who is completely able-bodied, will spend 10 - 15 minutes in very crowded parking lots just driving around looking for a prime parking spot. I will park in the farthest, first available spot and just walk the distance, whatever it is. Neither of us understands the other's choice!
I'm not saying I'm some guru because I'm not, but looking at things from another person's perspective is perhaps one of the most powerful mental tools aside from visualization and mindfulness. In truth these are merely habits, done unconsciously. There's no right or wrong to either of these ways. In the end they harm nobody else and are relatively insignificant.
I'm not saying I'm some guru because I'm not, but looking at things from another person's perspective is perhaps one of the most powerful mental tools aside from visualization and mindfulness. In truth these are merely habits, done unconsciously. There's no right or wrong to either of these ways. In the end they harm nobody else and are relatively insignificant.
This is impossible. I can never look at anything from another's perspective...I can only look at something through my perspective of what I believe is their perspective. Which is ultimately just my perspective, however many filters I pretend to put on it. So now, I own that I only look at things through my perspective. I don't need anyone to 'understand me', and I don't need to understand anyone else...and oddly, this ended up making all my relationships much better and less stressful. It also has the effect of consistently reducing judgement of others, because I'm not struggling to 'understand' anything, try to easel conflict between their choices and what are my preferences.
Please give some support for all that's in red. And, do men have emotions? Do men run after "bad women"? Stop singling out females and even better - stick to the original topic instead of what sounds like a failed dating life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stockwiz
Most people are out for themselves, men included. This is an evolutionary adaptation to the threat of always being killed by different groups of people. People make illogical decisions because the urge to act on the limbic system (short term gratification) is much stronger than the long term will of most people to look at the big picture and long term goals, men included. Looking at long term goals takes discipline or a good upbringing.. we are not naturally wired to think that way, and those who do usually get to high places in society... whether they are benevolent leaders or not, that part never mattered. Good people skills and good liars typically get into power. Tell people what they want to hear. Give them a nice story to make them "feel good" or just plain be good looking, man or woman, and you have a natural advantage. Of course back then long term thinking when you were not in a position to be doing it, like trying to start some uprising of whatever culture was in power at the time, was likely to get you killed. Another reason it's somewhat uncommon. How much freedom do we really have? We are blessed to live in a culture with such opportunity and freedom of information. Let's hope we can stay that way.
I'm not saying I'm some guru because I'm not, but looking at things from another person's perspective is perhaps one of the most powerful mental tools aside from visualization and mindfulness. In truth these are merely habits, done unconsciously. There's no right or wrong to either of these ways. In the end they harm nobody else and are relatively insignificant.
Sorry - I was being completely facetious - on this topic I know that this is based on your unique and biased experiences and have no relation at all to me and my life. Lemme know when you find an acceptable woman...or feel free to not.
I have a friend now who does what my husband used to do...make '3' trips into town rather than plan to do everything in one.
Illogical? Money waster? Time waster? Definitely, but in both cases they simply wanted something to take up time so it was 'logical' to them.
Do you ever look at decisions people make and share your head at how illogical they seem?
I really only do that when they complain about the outcome and it was easy for me to see a different way of doing it in the first place. Either way people make their own choices.
As for the DMV story I am in agreement with waiting on line and taking a book. For me that would be logical as I hate driving, don't like traffic, hate spending gas money but I love to read. "But" I would see about going on a different day as I think going out on the weekend to run errands is insane.
Last edited by ylisa7; 03-29-2018 at 07:01 AM..
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