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You sound like the golden child of a narcissistic family in where you learned how to be narcissistic yourself to defend from the narcissism of your family (one or both parents) with an extra that is you are handsome. Means, that it's a powerful combination that makes you attractive to most people (charming + cute), however, maybe you are asking yourself for the first time in life if you really want to be that charm boy that smile all the time. But the fact you are asking yourself if you are narcissistic or not it is because maybe you feel fake inside embracing a fake gay ego having to be "the good boy of mommy" whatever you go when probably all you wanted in life was being validated by men. There is a lot of narcissism in the gay world because of this patrons. If you miss helping people and mingle with them to be yourself, but the charming boy maybe you have a lot of work to do and means you are not a genuine narcissistic but maybe just self-absorbed.
I can admit I am self-absorbed and arrogant. I am trying to cut back on that. I am starting to realize that I am not as great as I think I am in my head. I have an 18-year old brother, and while I love him to death and we have a great relationship, there was a moment where it was getting to me. He by far is more intelligent than me or any other siblings. Looks wise, we are both the most attractive of the group and both gets complimented on that. But I remember thinking to myself how I could be better than him. Then I realized how ridiculous I had become (it wasn't anything too lengthy) that I was competing with an 18year old. I also realized that I need to value him for who he is and I need to value myself for who I am and not compare. This came after concussion.
But part of the problem is when I try to bring myself down, then someone comes with a compliment that pushes me back up. I think my problem is I get an over abundance of attention. I need to stop letting the attention get to my head and try to change the subject when it does it happen.
I once wondered aloud to a therapist, "Am I a narcissist?" She said to me, "If you are self-aware enough to ask that question, you are not a narcissist. Narcissists don't ask that question."
This is true, generally. Narcissistic personality disorder is often characterized by markedly poor insight.
Just curious, OP; how did you do in your coursework in college? How were your grades? Have you ever had an IQ test? If not, what were your SAT scores, generally? I'm wondering how much of the intelligence attributed to you, is due to a bias because of your good looks, and how much is the real deal. You seem to be bright enough, judging by your writing and self-observations.
Do you feel like life is too easy? Do you feel sufficiently challenged? Maybe you could utilize the level of privilege that your looks (etc.) give you, to leverage good works on a larger scale in society. I'm just pondering the situation.
And yeah, as others have indicated, thinking well of yourself isn't all there is to a narcissism diagnosis. Narcissists tend to steer conversations over to themselves. They manipulate people. They tend to pick a scapegoat among those close to them (usually a child), and project onto that person misdeeds of various sorts, while elevating another object of their focus beyond any justifiable merit. So there tend to be warped interpersonal dynamics going on. It doesn't sound like you do that.
I answered some of these questions in my above posts. My grades were always very good. on average GPA was somewhere around 3.5 sometimes little above sometimes below depending on the year. I was put in several honors classes. I didn't take the SATs but did the ACTs which I answer the question on scores above.
I wouldn't say the most intelligent person in the room in terms of booksmarts. When I mean intelligence, I guess I mean more in the sense of common sense, creative and intellectual. So no, trigonometry is not my strength nor is chemistry, but putting together a creative marketing campaign or discussing global/cultural issues or finding solutions to a complex organizational problem, I definitely do well in.
Yeah, I definitely don't abuse people. While I can be manipulative in the sense of influencing people, I don't use others in that way, and if anything a problem I have is I put others needs in front of mine. Actually I do that too much. I tend to be everyone's therapist and try to help them out how I can. So I definitely don't use people. I may influence them but not outright manipulate them on a regular basis.
Nope not Ivy league but wasn't implying that I ever did attend one? Both are my undergrad and graduate school were Big Ten schools. Only took the ACTs. 3 times. Twice 27 once got a 26.
I don't have the wording in front of me from your post, but you painted a picture where it seemed you went to an Ivy League (b/c you were the golden child) instead of a Big Ten school w barley above average ACT.
This is good. Here is something to be humble about. I know guys that had high SATs from Princeton & Brown. That is important to some businesses. They are not cocky men in the least.
I don't have the wording in front of me from your post, but you painted a picture where it seemed you went to an Ivy League (b/c you were the golden child) instead of a Big Ten school w barley above average ACT.
This is good. Here is something to be humble about. I know guys that had high SATs from Princeton & Brown. That is important to some businesses. They are not cocky men in the least.
Sorry if I misled in that way. In certain subjects I just plain suck (hard sciences and math) but the rest I did extremely well and was where my honors classes were in. I for sure don't pretend to be the smartest person in the room on that front. My thinking I am more intelligent than others is through other ways not so much through book smarts.
The catch is that when you think things are going so well and that you're the smartest or best looking person around, there will always be someone who can one-up you.
OK, I don't get what your problem is. You seem to marvel at your own social interactions and accomplishments in which your looks play a major role.
Well, good for you.
We are not all born fashion models, so enjoy your looks while you can.
However keep in mind that beauty is only skin deep. In other words, I hope your empathy and friendliness are genuine and not because you want to please or want people to continue to like you.
Of course, when you are handsome it is way easier to be liked and make friends, but the most important thing is how sincere you are.
And no, the rest of us are just common. Look around you in the street. If you don't see anyone as handsome as you is because of statistics. Drop dead gorgeous people are not that common. AT least not in my profession.
]But why would anyone make up that whole story, at an anonymous forum? What could he possibly get by doing that?[/b]
It can be discouraging to hear how easy life is for someone, how he gets handed all the things most of us have to strive for.
But keep this in mind -- when we strive for something and get it, the reward is so much greater than if it just came to us easily.
So maybe the OP is LESS happy than the rest of us, not more. Who knows? But I don't think he's lying, because there is no motive for that.
I have often been accused of lying at CD forums, because I have a lot of education. They think I get something out of making up stories about my education, anonymously.
It's just envy, I guess. If anyone has more of anything than them, it must be a lie.
Well...because that's what narcissists do. He doesn't think he's lying (if he is indeed a full blown narcissist) because he truly does think he's all that and a box of chocolates.
OP, if you're not a full blown narcissist, I'd say you definitely have narcissistic tendencies. If YOU feel like you do, you should probably get therapy, if possible.
On one hand, from what you've told US, you have oodles of empathy, but see...if you ARE full blown narcissist...you WOULD think that everything about you is good, and that you're a better human than everyone else.
The trick would be to see what others think, who maybe could be objective. The MOST objective might be a therapist, or a teacher you might've had, or something like that.
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