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So many posts here and in related fora by people expounding on how awful _____ is. Like literally thousands of words describing their intensely negative views about the state of _____. They almost trip over each other with more and more reinforcements of a negative world view.
This can't be good? Is it strangely comforting to think it's not opinion but fact? Why shroud yourself in such gloom?
So many posts here and in related fora by people expounding on how awful _____ is. Like literally thousands of words describing their intensely negative views about the state of _____. They almost trip over each other with more and more reinforcements of a negative world view.
This can't be good? Is it strangely comforting to think it's not opinion but fact? Why shroud yourself in such gloom?
I think it's because it's easier to be negative than to be positive, in the short run at least.
It's the most basic human state to be defenseless, and negative people see themselves as perpetual victims, refusing to recognize how they have contributed to their own circumstances. It's like being a child your whole life.
It's easier to point a (virtual or real) finger and yell, "S/he did it!!" and wait for someone else to take action.
While I don't actively seek out negative environments, feeling helpless and not in control of your destiny can certainly drag you down to a dark place.
Often times, it's those who are in a better place in life at a particular moment in time that can't seem to understand how someone can feel so badly or hopeless. For instance, when I start out at a new company and I'm full of hope and optimism, or when I buy a new home that I'm excited about, etc., I'm typically in a great place (mentally) and I generally spend much less time empathizing with those down on their luck. But when things are not going well in my life, in whichever areas that may be, I generally seek out comfort in those who feel my pain and have been there or are currently there.
People in good places in life tend not to associate with or empathize well with people who are down on their luck. People who are experiencing similar issues or who have recently experienced similar issues tend to better empathize with those who are down on their luck. So I guess that's where the whole "misery loves company" comes into play. I don't think it's that people actively seek negativity. I think they seek comfort from those who can empathize with their negative situations. People who've had it good for a long while are usually too far removed from adversity to be able to offer anything helpful or comforting. It's like when Bill Gates was on that show where they asked him to price out ordinary household goods and he was wrong on so many of them, and by a lot. Why? Because Bill Gates is so far removed from having to deal with shopping for household goods, of course he's not going to understand how they are priced. So how could anyone in a negative head space rely on someone who's had the same kush lifestyle, job, relationship, etc. for that past 10+ years for practical advice and comfort? It'd be like asking Bill Gates for advice on applying for jobs through Taleo.
Last edited by Left-handed; 04-04-2018 at 10:18 AM..
But some of us, I would bet a lot of us, HAVE gone through dark stuff, and managed to come out the other side. And we CAN empathize with others going through their dark stuff. We've been there.
What I tend to think is; a lot of people HAVEN'T walked in another's mocassins (so to speak) and feel pretty satisfied with that, and tend to be judgey. OR, they've forgotten what it was like to be 18 and in their first relationship, or their first job interview, and on and on.
And then there's the sweeping judgements. Gotta love those. LOL
But some of us, I would bet a lot of us, HAVE gone through dark stuff, and managed to come out the other side. And we CAN empathize with others going through their dark stuff. We've been there.
True, and there certainly are some helpful people. I have my personal favorites that I rely on for sound input.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
What I tend to think is; a lot of people HAVEN'T walked in another's mocassins (so to speak) and feel pretty satisfied with that, and tend to be judgey. OR, they've forgotten what it was like to be 18 and in their first relationship, or their first job interview, and on and on.
That 2nd sentence is what I’m getting at. Far removed from those situations, people forget what it was like. Or things are completely different now compared to how it used to be when they went through the same ordeal, so a lot of what the are saying is irrelevant. There is a particular 75 year old poster on the W&E forum that I often observe dishing the most irrelevant insights with regards to the modern labor market. He used to make $150k selling furniture apparently, and he just can’t understand the entitlement from younger people who are far more educated and driven, but still struggle with landing a job that pays enough to pay off student loans, buy a home, raise a family, etc. My personal favorites are those who lambaste all the complaining, then admit that their employer or family fully paid for their educational endeavors, or that a manager/mentor paved a way for them to get promoted, or how someone helped them achieve something but they refuse to acknowledge that they had any assistance at all in getting to where they are now.
Last edited by Left-handed; 04-04-2018 at 11:12 AM..
But some of us, I would bet a lot of us, HAVE gone through dark stuff, and managed to come out the other side. And we CAN empathize with others going through their dark stuff. We've been there.
What I tend to think is; a lot of people HAVEN'T walked in another's mocassins (so to speak) and feel pretty satisfied with that, and tend to be judgey. OR, they've forgotten what it was like to be 18 and in their first relationship, or their first job interview, and on and on.
And then there's the sweeping judgements. Gotta love those. LOL
I can’t rep you again, so
Some people I think may use it as a coping mechanism, others just are negative, some feel inferior and need to vent to make themselves superior. Just a guess though .
Because positivity is boring and negativity is interesting. Negativity invokes a lot of emotions, and those are more interesting than happiness. That's human nature. It's easier to be negative and harder to be positive.
Besides, negativity invokes a lot of emotions and talk. Just look at the news. 100% of it is about bad news and people want to talk about it, but those are the news we want to hear, right? It's negative, but fascinating. What's so fascinating about good news? It's boring. There's nothing to talk about because there's no problem.
Negativity is not terrible, it creates a lot of change in society as well as personal growth. Some bad emotions are absolutely terrible, but as far as negativity like complaining and venting, it helps bond people together, makes you feel better, and causes change to happen.
Venting maybe? I can go on a serious rant when I'm rolling with the keyboard, but generally I have a very positive outlook. And when you start on a rant, it's easy to keep going - you fall into that rhythm and it's like a dance. Getting it out of your system can feel great.
It IS a sad state of affairs that negativity is more interesting. As someone said, just look at the news.
Most good news IS boring, and I hate to say that. If someone posts about their wonderful life, it can come across as self-congratulatory and bragging. Someone was just doing that over in the Psych forum and I admit to being ticked off, which was childish of me.
Then there's the cynics like George Carlin who were famous for their humorous negativity.
I don't enjoy negativity and have worked long and hard to keep more positive thoughts in my brainthat soaks up everything...positive or negative. But sometimes we need to vent with a friend who is having issues as we are and then we can help each other laugh at things.....
Just remember whatever we keep telling our brain, we keep getting.
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