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No, I hate to say that, and everyone has their own experiences, but seemingly, there are ups and downs for everyone throughout life. I recall feeling disappointment, a lack of direction, also.
Do think about what you are content with, which it sounds like you are grateful for, and as mentioned, investigate all you may like to do instead, yet I know that is more pressure, since you are in the midst of working and trying to manage.
One thing, if you don't already do so, is to maybe begin a journal of your thoughts and feelings (just using a simple spiral notebook), asking yourself what you want, etc., if you feel up to it. Walk in the park, make observations, chat with others and maybe get some insights. I know it is hard to not be bothered by having comparisons being made to others, but no one is perfect, even if it appears that way on the surface to some.
Good luck, and know that you are not alone in your feelings.
Being poor is way worse than hating your job. Try a week standing at a stoplight holding a cardboard sign begging for money. It might give you a different perspective on how awful your job is.
Consider the lives our ancestors lived. Much of their waking hours was spent on working or growing things or making things to sustain their lives. There were no glamorous vacations, hours spent watching tv, trips to the movies or out to eat.
This is life.
I believe, however, that that is one of the purposes of life. How wonderful to find something you're good at, and get paid decently for doing it. It's important to know you are good at something. Really good. It gives a sense of self-esteem, gratification, accomplishment, productivity. That IS a purpose of life, in and of itself.
If you get no gratification from your job and don't have a sense that you are really good at it and get paid well for doing that which you are good at, you chose the wrong vocation, I think.
Even a working class job can be gratifying. It's the person, I think, not the job, that finds the gratification in doing a job that he's suited for and is really good at doing. If you're a waiter, maybe you excel at providing A-1 service or relating to people or being patient with people. Maybe you have a knack for being on your feet for hours, whereas many others would be terrible at being a waiter. You can aspire to working at a ritzy restaurant, if you stay being waiter.
You are lucky that you live in a country where you can choose what you do with your life. That's on YOU. If you don't like your vocation, you can change it. No matter what your education or your skills or talents (EVERYONE has skills or talents), you can find something you're really good at and which pays decently and which you get a sense of accomplishment from. It won't come knocking on your door. You have to look for it. Luck also is a factor.
Start looking. It's there. Don't look to be a movie star or a billionaire. Look for something that pays decently (MONEY MATTERS), contributes to a retirement account (MORE IMPORTANT THAN SALARY), and that you excel at doing. Are you cerebral? Physical? Good with numbers? Good with computers? Want to sit all day? Or would sitting all day drive you crazy? How would you want to be dressed all day? What kind of people do you want to interact with while you work?
If you're still young, the world is your oyster. But recognize that we all must spend most of our time providing for ourselves the necessities of life. Just as our forefathers did, and their forefathers did. This is life. So get some self-esteem and gratification from your job.
(Consider in the old days that ordinary people didn't buy clothing. Mothers made the dresses, the pants, the shirts. Many mothers hated sewing. Yet they would sit for hours, days on end, sewing the necessary clothing for all their family members. I have no doubt that many got whatever gratification they could out of doing what was necessary. Maybe they had a knack for it and got gratification from that. Maybe they had a knack for choosing the prettiest fabric, or getting the best deal on the fabric, or for getting it done faster than most. You make the job. It doesn't make you. But it must be done.)
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,550 posts, read 81,131,933 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocko20
Nothing in this world is free. If you’re miserable, it’s your job to change it.
There’s no law in this country that says you have to be miserable with your career
Correct. I am in my third "career" now, going on 9 years after the first two lasting 17 and 16 years. As long as I enjoyed the work, and was progressing with advancement I was happy. When reaching a dead end or the work became too routine and no longer a challenge, I moved on. This will be my last, I'll be retiring in 4-5 years, but also turns out to be the best.
'Find your passion' can be overrated. I know plenty of people whose passion is not easily translated into a career. Maybe they're not actually good at it, or maybe once they've explored it they find a new passion.
It seems my curse is to be a little bit good at a lot of things and yet too restless to find working in one career for a long time to be rewarding and challenging.
And no, not all of us find the answer in 'working for ourselves'. Again, you have to be very driven and passionate to make that work.
My suggestion is to find some sort of career training you can tolerate, that has a pleasant work environment, and stick there for a while.
OP, we need to know more about your situation. Your relatives are asking you what you're going to do with your life? Are you in college? A recent college grad? What do you mean by career search? Are you in a grunt job, while looking for something related to your college studies/major?
If you've found a job that pays the bills, plus pays enough for you to save for the future, for retirement, and all, you've won a good deal of the battle. If you've achieved that, which would be quite an achievement at your stage of life, even though you hate it, you compensate for hating it by finding cool stuff to do in your free time. This could be anything; pursuing hobbies, pursuing further higher education to boost yourself into a better profession, joining a music band, volunteering for a cause you believe in, creating your own non-profit project with like-minded friends, whatever. Your job doesn't have to be the center of your life. No one can lay claim to your mind and imagination, or your free time. They're yours, to do with what you will.
OP, how far would you move to take a job you liked? I think that in any given era or decade, the good jobs tend to cluster in certain geographic areas.
When I was 22, I moved across country to take a job I was offered. It was scary to leave everything and everyone I knew, but I felt I'd be good at the job, and this turned out to be true (with plenty of aggravation along the way, but everyone experiences that). I was able to retire in my 50's.
Some other people my age, who probably had more ability, are still plunking away at lower-level jobs because they did not want to relocate.
What are you good at? What do you enjoy? What's important to you? If you can find the intersection of those things, you'll be in good shape. "Do what you love" is terrible advice by itself - if I was doing what I loved, I'd be sitting in a sunbeam with my animals and a book while eating tacos.
I have worked a difficult and demanding job for many years. It stressed me out, but I am very good at it, and eventually it didn't stress me out. I started out with a career I was very "meh" about and it has turned into something I am very passionate about and I actually enjoy my work and care about it these days. It helps that I have some amazing coworkers who are all excellent people that I care very much about and whose professional skills I am awe by. But work is still just what I do to support my life - I have built something apart from what I do during the week.
I'm going to say that this business of being happy is very hard work. I have spent the last 20 years working on my personal growth; seeking out and cultivating friendships with truly wonderful, intelligent and honorable people; nurturing relationships with my family members; learning about the things that interest me; cultivating hobbies that build my brain and buoy my spirits. It is a full time job, frankly. If you wait for life to shower you with meaning and happiness, you are guaranteed to be disappointed - you need to chase things.
It seems we have conditioned people to believe the job market is enjoyable, and full of fulfilling and engaging work. Then reality sets in, and people find that working that McJob with its daily grind is just that, a grind. Someone has to answer the phone, empty the trash or other mundane tasks.
We really need to teach people that if they want fulfilling and engaging employment, they have to create it. Its not the responsibility of the employer to do so.
Lifestyle engineering is something I have practiced for decades. Sometimes it means you have to go out on your own, or leave a job that doesn't fit into your lifestyle.
Young people without much life experience, are not usually at a point where they can control work/life issues, but with time and effort, they can get there. I didn't figure out what I was about until i was in my 30's. Until then, I worked a job until I didn't like it anymore, then found another one I though would be a better fit. It took many jobs until I found the right one.
Life changes can also dictate what is fulfilling and engaging for one. Having a family will make you reevaluate priorities, work and personal. Being home at night for my family was more important than running the best restaurant in town, so I made another change and got into the mortgage business years ago.
Anyway, don't give up, OP. Keep searching and making changes that will lead you to the fulfilling work you seek. It might seem bleak now, but a few years later, you could look back and find you're in a much better and fulfilling work.
When I was younger I used to think people find their passion and they get the job they want and it is happily ever after. As I get older for most people, I find that people just find a job and they work to pay bills. Work is depressing and it can drain your soul. It is called work for a reason or else it would be called vacation. But does life have to be this way? I find my biggest source of frustration or depression is from finding a career. My parents are on my ass, I am on my ass, family relatives ask me what I am doing and their son is doing all of these things makes me feel bad, it is my main source of frustration atm. Other than that I actually enjoy my life. Health is good, despite the work issue my family is good, good friends. I just want to find my niche and be done with this period of my life. Anyone experience similar struggles? How do you cope?
i guess if you dont want to work anymore start a business,play the lottery,get on welfare or marry someone rich....i would suggest saving at least 64 to 70 percent of your take home pay to retirement and you could be retired in 10 years like mr money mustache...live like noone else so later you can live like noone else...avoid consumer debt...you could go to Vegas but i would not do that but its a option but most people have to work.....work is basically a form of slavery to a employer where you sell your time....i think starting a business is your best option....i would reccomend reading rich dad poor dad if u wanna go that root....dont go for your passion focus on what can make you a good living......i happened to be lucky because my passion is highly rewarding financially....the advantages of a owning a good business system is a lot more free time less tax loopholes and more money than if you were self employed or were a w2 employee.
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