Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You're awesome Lovehound. If I was gay I'd be hitting on you.
Wow, thanks. I am hetero but I sometimes wonder, if you were bi you'd have 2x the choices. Except many heteros would be bothered by bi, but not me.
I think there is a large amount of sexual prejudice based upon heterosexuals who are insecure in their gender identity. I'm a man and I have no gender insecurity, I know what I am and I know what I want, and I am not diminished by my gay, bi and TG friends (I have a recent, new TG friend!). I sometimes wonder if it isn't insecure people who foster gender or race prejudice.
I regret if this is off-topic but I'm a white man and currently trying to convince a black woman to date me on an online dating site. (I have dated blacks before.) I hope I can change her mind because she is very attractive and I just don't see women in terms of race or religion or ethnicity. They're just women... Yeah I prefer attractive women but sometimes there are other factors more interesting than superficial attractiveness. Like intelligence, like being a real person, like being fun and being in the here and now.
I'm not so interested in dating cross-preference, I'm solidly heterosexual and not interested in relationships other than one man (me) and one woman (her). Pretty sure everybody understands that.
But friends? That's a whole different thing. I don't have sex with my friends, I just enjoy being friends and doing things, hope to attend live clubs and yeah, sure I'd dance with my different gender friends. In the right setting (a cross-gender friendly club) I might even dance with a man for a short period (probably would need my female date there as support). I want to make this clear, I am a man who does not have issues that make me anything but confident in my masculinity, and I love a feminine woman to have a relationship with. But no way will I turn down friends just based upon their gender preference, as long as they condone my heterosexual preference.
I would like to end my post with a few lines from my favorite Kesha song, "We R Who We R," and I'd like to dedicate this to my friend Suzy, who got me started on Kesha:
"Tonight we're going har har-har ha-ha-hard
Just like the world is our our-our our-our-ours
We're tearin' it apart part-part pa-pa-part
You know we're superstars, we are who we are
We're dancing like we're dum dum-dum dum-dum-dumb
Our bodies go num num-num num-num-numb
We'll be forever young youn-youn youn-youn-young
You know we're superstars, we are who we are!"
Heck, I'd dance with my lady, I'd dance with a black woman, in the right club I'd dance with a bi woman or even a gay man (no kissing please!). I'd dance with my TG friend too! We R Who We R! We are superstars!
Other forum posts acquainted you with identity politics. I want to dissuade you from identity gender prejudice. I want to dissuade you from racial identity prejudice.
People, we are ALL going to die. Do you want to spend your lives clashing with other races, cultures, gender identities?
No not me. I want to love my brothers and sisters irrespective of their race, culture, religion, ethnicity, sexual identity, political persuasion. We R Who We R, but we don't have to hate others because they are different.
Make no mistake. I am a man on a mission and my mission is to bust down the walls that divide us. Please join me. Love who you love in a sexual way depending on your gender identity, but in a friendship way love everybody no matter what their identity is, just love them back if they accept you too. I'll accept anybody as long as they are in non-hurtful relationships.
This gender-hate and race-hate and ethnic-hate is killing us. Please let just let it go.
From personal experience, when you get older you realize we are all just people and we're all gonna die. When I go out I wanna go out with lots of friends, knowing I have lived a hate-free life.
I'm collecting friends like a magnet collects iron filings.
This desire to force other people to "get it" is lame at best. Who the hell cares enough to get anything about people different than themselves.
I don't understand why anyone would NOT want to "get" people who are different from themselves.
If the only people I could relate to and understand and "get" were people who are just like me, my life would be incredibly boring. Exposure to different perspectives makes you a more complex, layered, intelligent human being. And it also reduces fear of the unknown, which can severely limit you in life.
(I'm assuming you were saying this in a serious tone, but I am aware there's no telling in a post on the internet, so if you were being sarcastic...disregard my response.)
Sonic, they are curmudgeons and other misfits who do not like people, or are so full of themselves that they will not deign to be friends with others who are not exactly like them.
I feel sorry for them. BTW I just got a phone call from a black woman I met on a dating site (I'm white) and I very much hope we will meet in real life! (We agreed it's a waste of time to chat for weeks on the phone, and that if you haven't met by the first week you might as well kiss it off.)
Retired in Ill, you just don't get it, and we do. And we are living the good life and have lots of friends (who are different from us) and you probably don't.
You're awesome Lovehound. If I was gay I'd be hitting on you.
If you were gay you could be my friend. You could be my friend anyway.
When you get past a certain age some of us realize the folly of putting people in boxes and then hating everybody in some of the boxes. I want to spend the rest of my life having fun with friends, not hating people.
Sonic, they are curmudgeons and other misfits who do not like people, or are so full of themselves that they will not deign to be friends with others who are not exactly like them.
I feel sorry for them. BTW I just got a phone call from a black woman I met on a dating site (I'm white) and I very much hope we will meet in real life! (We agreed it's a waste of time to chat for weeks on the phone, and that if you haven't met by the first week you might as well kiss it off.)
Retired in Ill, you just don't get it, and we do. And we are living the good life and have lots of friends (who are different from us) and you probably don't.
It's true. I try not to judge and I certainly know (and love) plenty of introverts who simply need and prefer their alone time. And that's fine! But being at least open minded enough to connect with a big, colorful variety of people...it sure has its benefits.
I mean for one thing, I "know a guy" for almost anything. I've benefited myself and others tremendously over time just knowing the right people for this or that, usually because I'm open and friendly and I talk to strangers, when they seem willing to talk. I don't hate people, so people like me. My ex doesn't understand why he can't seem to get a relationship going these days. It's because he's bitter and basically hates people. He radiates unhappiness. Who wants to sign up to share those vibes? No one with any sense.
I mean, I feel like you're not only making your life more boring and unpleasant by being hateful and grouchy towards others, you're actually robbing yourself of real potential benefits. Being connected to a diverse group of people has gotten me:
- Free access into conventions.
- Free massages.
- Free pro photography sessions.
- Free concert tickets.
And then some. If I need help moving, I could get that, if I needed free legal advice, I know a guy, if I need a handyman I've got this one friend, of course I pay to support my artists, writers and musicians, who are many. I once had a situation where my Mom had a crisis going on, on the other side of the country from where I was at, literally I lived in WA and this was in FL, and I put out word to my friends, and one guy and his son drive 2 hours to help her move a bunch of stuff all day, and 2 hours back. He and I had hung out twice at concerts. But he thought I was cool, and stepped right up to help.
So yeah. You'd be surprised how much better life can be when you bother, and take the time, to "get" different people, and put energy into making friends and not hating others.
What I get is having a clear conscience knowing that I'm not a bigot and have no prejudice. That's enough for me.
No, actually it isn't. I go out of my way to meet diverse people and try to make them my friends. I figure every diverse friend I make helps show them that not all people are prejudiced.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
