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So my husband and myself have been married for 7 years. I struggle with our marriage anymore because he is not willing to give me sex anymore. I do what i can for him and try to support him always but this one is hard for me. I love sex, but no sex from him makes me feel unwanted, unloved, unattractive, like I'm and not important or worthy of his love. I have tried numerous times to communicate, ask questions and to ask what i can do for him to help him with whatever is bothering him or stopping him from showing me intimacy. He does watch porn and is completely ok with sexual acts with the computer. I have boldly told him what I want or need for our marriage and asked for his communication on this but he says its ok nothings wrong or he says nothing or changes the subject. I'm just lost and confused and lonely and unsure about my marriage. I want sex and to feel important and sexy and loved. I want to be his everything. What do i do or can i do?
So my husband and myself have been married for 7 years. I struggle with our marriage anymore because he is not willing to give me sex anymore. I do what i can for him and try to support him always but this one is hard for me. I love sex, but no sex from him makes me feel unwanted, unloved, unattractive, like I'm and not important or worthy of his love. I have tried numerous times to communicate, ask questions and to ask what i can do for him to help him with whatever is bothering him or stopping him from showing me intimacy. He does watch porn and is completely ok with sexual acts with the computer. I have boldly told him what I want or need for our marriage and asked for his communication on this but he says its ok nothings wrong or he says nothing or changes the subject. I'm just lost and confused and lonely and unsure about my marriage. I want sex and to feel important and sexy and loved. I want to be his everything. What do i do or can i do?
So my husband and myself have been married for 7 years. I struggle with our marriage anymore because he is not willing to give me sex anymore. I do what i can for him and try to support him always but this one is hard for me. I love sex, but no sex from him makes me feel unwanted, unloved, unattractive, like I'm and not important or worthy of his love. I have tried numerous times to communicate, ask questions and to ask what i can do for him to help him with whatever is bothering him or stopping him from showing me intimacy. He does watch porn and is completely ok with sexual acts with the computer. I have boldly told him what I want or need for our marriage and asked for his communication on this but he says its ok nothings wrong or he says nothing or changes the subject. I'm just lost and confused and lonely and unsure about my marriage. I want sex and to feel important and sexy and loved. I want to be his everything. What do i do or can i do?
Sorry you are going through this.
It could be anything, but the porn definitely isn't helping.
We are 31& 32. We met through a mutual friend, his ex, who isn't around anymore. I am not sure if other men find me attractive. I hope so but i also seek more of the attention right now because I'm being neglected. I feel desperate.
Given what you say you've tried, all you can do now is the drastic stuff: separation, ultimatum etc.
He is showing you that he really doesn't care that you are sad without sex. So now you have to decide if you want to stay in this relationship and find out if he cares whether or not you do stay.
Confused - have you considered that he is getting sex elsewhere? Let me say, straight out, there are VERY FEW men on this planet who do not want sex. Testosterone keeps them interested; nature designed it that way.
He may be getting it from someone else. If so, that's likely going to be a problem for you.
Here's what I'd do, if in your shoes:
1) figure out is he's getting sex elsewhere. If so, there is a new set of issues.
2) if I think he isn't, then I'd find a psychologist myself and present him, in no uncertain terms, with the reality that counseling is necessary.
3) if he refuses to go....then I'd give a big long think about whether I could stay in a relationship that doesn't function like a marriage and whether I could love someone who has so little regard for me.
I wish you the best.
Last edited by Travel Crazy; 05-15-2018 at 09:33 PM..
I can honestly say that the only place he is getting any kind of sexual pleasure from is the porn on the computer. I can vouch for his every move. He would never be brave enough to cheat, also i wish he would it would be easier to move on.
challenge him to a week without the computer...maybe he'll have some mo-jo left for you.
maybe you could drop one of the really important things you do for him each day. Do you cook his meals?.....it's cooked meals..or porn..give him a choice.
If he's denying you sex, but he's watching porn regularily, it seems like a complete lack of respect for you and your feelings....you could do the same, though I can't see how it would help the failing relationship in any way.
Sorry he's doing this to you.....do you think if you had no internet things would change?
Is he bisexual or gay? Or he could secretly be seeing someone on the side, and he may have fears of STDs and/or he is in love with them and they are, say, married. But it could be none of those things.
Ask him one question: does he love you? A loveless marriage is not good, IMO. Sometimes people stray and you have to forgive them, but sometimes not.
Yes!!!!
It seems really strange that he'll watch sex on video, but pass on the reality standing in front of him.
That (to me) shows a complete lack of love and respect towards a willing partner.
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Answers to all good questions!
No cheating.
