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Thought I was special until my early 20s when reality came crashing down, LOL. NOBODY is all that special. We’re all just doing what we can.
I thought that when I was in my 20's, too.
Then I hit my 30's and I dug myself out of the rubble of "reality" that I'd been living buried under. It took me a little while, but I'm pretty much out now.
For sure in my 20's I found it this depressing revelation that in fact no one cares about all the things you think are special about you. No one is interested. They're doing their own thing, and you're just another non-player-character in their world the same as they are in yours. Why bother trying, we're all stuck in the rat race and nobody cares, oh boo hoo cruel world.
Then again when you get past that, if you're fortunate, you realize that a.) It doesn't matter who cares and who doesn't. You can be as unique as you want in whatever ways you want and do it for yourself just because it's fun. And b.) If you find the right people, actually, they really will appreciate your weird. You can have a frickin' fan club if that's what floats your boat.
Maybe just me, but if this isn't just me then I think some of it has to do with mixing in woth other people as you get older and realize mixing in well you have to be part of the 90 percent of the population being adults.
Sure you may still feel unique and interesting with what you discovered about yourself, but you realize you are no less ordinary than other people out there once you mix in and grow into the world. We as kids feel unique and interesting because we are just beginning our explorations in those times. And realize you don't have to be so much with the general public (being usually adults).
That's my theory.
Sooner or later if you talk to enough people you find out they have suffered terribly in one way or another - and, if you are a adult (especially with family) you probably have your share of tales to tell.
When you have kids and grandkids - you realize how hard it can be - and then you understand that billions of people have done the same thing. Not special.
We have to realize that a lot of modern constructs such as constant entertainment (input), leisure (retirement), recreational sex, etc. are fairly new. The effect on all of us as a society....are untested.
Before, we simply died early or, if we lived long, sat at home and read the paper....often in the house of our kids who would take us in.
Optimism is probably a survival tool - people would not have children and go to the Salt Mines day-in, day out unless they felt they represented something special to the world.
The truth also backs much of this up. Even Albert Einstein never came up with much after age 30. Maybe today we can extend that a bit (longer lives, better health), but the truth is that your exiting years are as a child and then perhaps up to 30. After that you are largely on a plateau...and then, fairly quickly, a downslope.
Some people are better than others at "creating excitement" as they age. But in almost any case, it has to be manufactured because of changes in your body and mind.
Hmm, I have always felt kinda weird. Still do. I just use different techniques to hide it. Not everyone gets exposed to my "weird side," it makes selective visits to the world!
One thing that is interesting, I feel like a lot of the world has come around to my weirdness. For example, during my teen years "electronic music" was "white music.*" And hip hop was "black music." Now all the "kids" listen to hip hop and the "cool" hip hop is mixing in electronica.
I feel a bit weird that I don't like pure hip-hop (I tried a pure hip-hop music channel, sounded like rap) but I certainly like hip-hop influenced pop like Ke$ha and Fergie. I've thought and thought about it, and I'm placing my music creds on the line that in my musical judgement I rate that Ke$ha and Fergie are hip-hop influenced not because I read that but because I feel that. I guess if I'm wrong then my music creds are flawed.
Got into my car with a date a few weeks back and turned on the ignition and Ke$ha came on full volume before I hit the switch. My date was appalled. "You listen to this stuff? Full volume?" Yes, I do. I don't think this was it, we had a great date, but it was also our last date.
I like to rock out. My car stereo is wimpy. Full volume sounds loud only if you go from dead silence to full volume, before your ears adjust.
I don't like hip-hop but I do like hip-hop influenced pop music.
I've found that the thing that my favorite music generally has in common, is that there's this strong performance art element, it's not just a band or a singer or artist who makes songs I can listen to. There's more creative output going on at the same time.
GWAR (and side projects): Metal/punk music, Over the top monster costumes (that they have always made in-house), Cheesy B-horror element, political satire, low humor, intense concerts. Have produced a ton of art, writing, even a roleplaying game complete with little metal figures. And movies! Not necessarily GOOD ones, but still. Now they have a bar in Richmond, and the food is great.
Abney park: Steampunk music incorporating elements of goth, jazz, new-wave, folk, "world," industrial and orchestral. Strong visual aesthetic. Also created novels and games.
David Bowie: You cannot deny the visual art element present in most of his work, and one of my favorite albums also includes a short story written by Bowie in the casing. I particularly love his industrial Reznor collaborations from the 90's, including much of the aesthetics in videos reminiscent of NIN's "Closer."
March Fourth Marching Band: They are a marching band. Their concerts are mind-blowing, a great time WILL be had by all.
Voltaire: AKA Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez. He also writes, does illustrated and humorous books, and a children's book, and stop-motion animation, and a number of other projects, and is a prolific musician with a wide range of goth-ish music. Strong element of humor in much of his work.
It's these kinds of tastes and media choices that I think make a person more "unique" really, though it's hard for me to say exactly why. I don't necessarily expect anyone to CARE that I like such things. I just realize that my preferences in entertainment are often more intense (and that applies to a number of areas of my life) than those of many other people. Maybe it's because I don't drink or do drugs...?
Well that's why I said "maybe just me" in the beginning.
But to clarify my point
I am just saying we as kids kind of hsve our own wonderlands to explore
Once we become adults we have nothing else to do for our specialness. We work, drive, maintain a household and what else?
I believe we as kids don't have anything to take care off, so that probably helps it in.
I think adults have all kinds of capacity to be unique. We decorate our homes, we make stuff, we garden, we choose to adorn ourselves as we see fit, etc.
Grandma Moses, one of the best known folk artists, was 78 when she began painting. Granted, some people rise higher than others, but we all express our uniquenesses.
I don't at all think that's a fair assumption that "nobody" is unique or nobody is different or special. There are clearly very many special people, whether they're celebrities or entrepreneurs or athletes or multimillionaires or artists. Of course, 99.9% of people aren't special, but it's up to you either to 1) Accept that you just don't have what it takes to be special (I can't imagine this idea and it would make life for me not worth living honestly), or 2) Fight until the day you die to be special and to prove it.
Also most people only achieve exciting things or do anything of use before they're 30? I mean, this isn't the NBA, you can continue to build on your earlier success. It's hard to think of basically any filmmakers who stopped making great movies after they were 30, in fact most of them make their best movies as they learn and grow and continue to experience more of life. My dad for instance was working a job when he turned 30, just a regular worker, and shortly after that started his own real estate enterprise. He's now 76 and this October finishes construction of a $150 million downtown office building, his second of the past few years. He's building a luxury hotel elsewhere. Before age 70, he had done apartments and senior living mainly, and now he's delving into luxury hotels (another is coming besides the current one) and office buildings. He is enjoying life even more than ever, and everything is new and special because these are opportunities he didn't have when he was younger. You need massive experience, credit history, and financial prosperity to develop projects that change a city's skyline. It can't be done by people who are 25 years old.
The world is really limited only by your ability to imagine and your discipline to achieve. If you want to live a special life, you can do it, but you have to make the sacrifices other people won't make. I'm obviously fortunate my dad had kids, but for other people, you may have to sacrifice (I don't want kids, so that is the furthest thing from a "sacrifice") that mundane "achievement" for focusing on your career and growing your wealth or your skills. What you choose to put your time into doing will impact your future days. If you spend time doing comfortable, mundane things, then yes, don't be surprised when you're 50 years old and you live a perfectly fine, comfortable life, but it closely resembles everyone else you know. The bottom line is if you don't want to be like everyone else, and you DO want to be special, you shouldn't be doing what other people are doing. They're obviously doing it wrong.
Yeah pretty much. I think the other reason we feel unique and special as kids is that we never really have our own voices, you know?
I didn't observe that kids had enough self-awareness to be able to consider themselves unique and special. Why would they? What would the idea of uniqueness be based on? Rather, what I noticed is that, in going to college, furthering their education and choosing interesting fields of study, perhaps getting some study-related travel experiences, that's when a sense of uniqueness was developed. Women, especially, who chose exotic fields and chose professions in those fields that enabled work and travel to unusual destinations, did develop a sense of being outside the mainstream, and having unique talents and areas of expertise. I think it takes a certain level of brain development and maturity, to acquire a sense of self. Kids aren't really capable of that.
I don't at all think that's a fair assumption that "nobody" is unique or nobody is different or special. There are clearly very many special people, whether they're celebrities or entrepreneurs or athletes or multimillionaires or artists. Of course, 99.9% of people aren't special, but it's up to you either to 1) Accept that you just don't have what it takes to be special (I can't imagine this idea and it would make life for me not worth living honestly), or 2) Fight until the day you die to be special and to prove it.
I think your 99.9% level is unrealistically high. You're saying only 0.1% of the population can be special in some way. I think it could easily be several percent or more. Keep in mind that you don't have to be a genius to be special. Somebody with under average intelligence might have just one ability or gift that allows them to be special.
You made a good point about the difference between being special and doing special. Nobody is going to even know you have unique abilities (or at least uncommon) unless you actually accomplish something special.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
Also most people only achieve exciting things or do anything of use before they're 30? I mean, this isn't the NBA, you can continue to build on your earlier success. It's hard to think of basically any filmmakers who stopped making great movies after they were 30, in fact most of them make their best movies as they learn and grow and continue to experience more of life.
Just note one of the greatest filmmakers Alfred Hitchcock. I'm pretty sure he continued to make movies until quite late in life. Of course Hitchcock was special from an early age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
The world is really limited only by your ability to imagine and your discipline to achieve. If you want to live a special life, you can do it, but you have to make the sacrifices other people won't make.
Just noting that not all people have any significant imagination, which I think may also be called creativity. It's just not a gift that all people have. And then like you said, you have to have the will to make it become.
Examples from my own life: (1) I play guitar but poorly, learned as a tween, it's going to take many many hours of practicing chords and scales and etudes to get back to a basic playing level, and that's when I can start playing actual songs. Lots of work. (2) Art on the other hand is just magic for me. I can just start a doodle, perhaps practicing pen & ink techniques, and often it's good enough to frame. If I actually plan ahead it comes out even better! I was born with this and the only thing I ever did was get some books and learned techniques.
It's interesting to note, my guitar practice is utterly boring and you can't multi-task, you have to put your full concentration on playing. Art on the other hand is not that at all, art is fun to practice and interesting to see your stuff flow onto the paper, and also I can do an art project while a friend visits or while I'm watching TV or listening to music.
I think it's safe to say that pretty much all musicians and all artists and all writers are special.
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