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Women dressing in obviously sexy clothes "without any thought", as you say, just means they aren't thinking.
Do they not see the "yogapants" web sites or have any inkling of the idea that men find tight pants and bare midriff very attractive?
Going to a doctor's office or etc dressed like that is either : a) on purpose to be noticed ; or b) being naive and sort of "oblivious" (as you say, "not thinking").
Either way, some men are going to stare. And in my humble opinion women just have to accept this.
Men have to accept the fact that it is wrong to tell women they're sexy or comment on their clothes in the work place. Fair enough.
And women have to accept the fact that in public, some men are going to stare and come on to women dressed sexy. (At least until that is outlawed.)
It's in man's nature to admire the female form and if you're dressing sexy in public you've got to expect men to admire and like and perhaps comment on what you're showing off.
Trying to make men go against their nature and "not notice" is just as wrong as it is for men to stare, in this situation.
This from me, a man who abhors what people like Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein were proved guilty of doing. This from a man who believes in equal rights and equal pay for women. And from a man who does NOT stare but does notice and look.
But to ignore the nature of men and women and make rules and social mores accordingly is just "political correctness" at its worst.
LOL. The old "it's in our nature" routine. You know, it's in man's nature to urinate, but humans are taught at a young age to control that. Just because something is in your nature doesn't mean you have to act on it. Just because you want to stick your face in that chocolate birthday party cake and start eating away, you don't. It's considered impolite and uncivilized.
As for yoga pant websites....there are yoga pant websites? Are you kidding me?
There are social norms for dress. One of them is NOT to intentionally dress so that some man might not be able to control himself. Yoga pants are socially acceptable these days, in certain places. It is irrelevant whether men find them sexy or not. They're yoga pants. Get over it.
A bare midriff means something else, tho. Flashing skin is intentional. If someone is in shape, I tend to think the intention is to show off the bod or the abs...not necessarily for men to go ape over it. Buff men wear short t-shirts w/abs exposed. It's to show off the results of their hard work. If it also attracts the opposite sex, that's not a bad thing.
The girl the OP stared at probably didn't mind at all and was probably flattered. Don't take it to mean that she was interested in whoever was staring. Sometimes the point is just to get looks, to affirm she looks good. Who is doing the looking is irrelevant.
But wearing yoga pants is also to do yoga in. Not just to get stares or compliments. She may have been on her way to yoga class at the time.
If we really want to relieve men of the heavy burden of not raping women in the streets, I guess we should start wearing burqas.
Why does she dress that way? She's hot. She knows it. Her friends likely all dress that way too.
So look, don't stare. Smile. She may be trolling but not for you.
I haven't met a women and yet that wasn't trolling for me. Make genuine eye contact, a smile and a slight nod of the head. I could reel them in all day long......
There have been tons of threads about this topic, ad nauseum.
BOTH women and men need to take responsibility for themselves. It's not JUST up to men to "not stare"--frankly, this is the most ridiculous advice I've ever heard. Women have a responsibility to dress in a manner that's befitting their values and morals. If women only project sexual attractiveness then that's the only way people will relate to them. If women want to be taken seriously and to have equality then stop putting your boobs and azz out there for everyone to see. That's not going to get you any kind of equality or taken seriously. Women can squawk all they want about this little fact of life but it is what it is. I see a half-naked woman on top of a car with her bikini bottoms almost sliding off, well, what's there to take seriously there? What do you expect men to do? You are really, really naiive if you think you can show off your body and think men are going to take you seriously. Don't give me that crap about wanting to feel good about yourselves or feel sexy. You can do that in the privacy of your home.
Women can look attractive and feel good about themselves without showing everything in an overt manner. Why not wear a nice summer dress with a pair of sandals and a crocheted sweater on top to cover up in air conditioning? Why not wear a nice pair of capris and a pretty top? Do you really have to show your boobs and buttocks to feel good about yourself? I have a lot of suspicions about that. I think women who do that, have ulterior motives, yet try to put the blame on men when they get unwanted attention. That's pretty low.
Telling men not to stare is a little lame. That's kind of like putting the cart before the horse. The men don't know not to stare until they've already seen the woman.
Is it ok to honk your horn at an attractive woman who you drive by? I used to have a job that I walked to work to and every once in a while women would honk their horns at me. Were they being inappropriate?
Also, is it ok to state at a woman wearing a cosplay costume?
"Take responsibility." Ok, SURE. But if a woman is gonna take responsibility for the clothing she puts on in the morning, then WHY is it so unspeakable to ask that a man take responsibility for whether he is polite or rude in how he chooses to react to it? I mean really.
And it slays me how we get guys in here like, "Well you cannot be surprised when men do XYZ. Of course I never would. I don't think or act like that. But I think it should be accepted and ok when men do. Other men. Obviously. Who aren't me."
Why even say that? If you know how to be polite, then cool, that's like all we're asking here. I'm not demanding that polite men be the etiquette police and yell at impolite men. Just model decent behavior, you know? If you say you aren't "that guy" then cool, you aren't that guy! Then stop bending yourself into a pretzel trying to excuse and justify the behavior of anyone who is, why dontcha? I'll be the first to admit that sometimes women behave in inappropriate ways, and I don't approve of it. I don't go to bars and lecture drunk women who are screaming and hanging all over people and acting nutty and trashy. But I sure as heck don't do that.
None of us here, women, are saying there need to be rules and laws. Just understand that if you are rude, other people might find you rude. It's not a good look on you, unlike the yoga pants that apparently are to "blame"...and no woman is going to be like, "Oh, that jerk is probably a nice, normal person, when he did this rude thing, it's my clothes at fault." Nope, we're just gonna think you're some dingbat with no self control. You are free to think of her/us whatever you want, too. Again, there is not (yet) any thought police coming after her or you. If you are just fine with other people thinking you are rude, then I guess be rude. *shrug*
I prefer to be polite. And I respect people more when they're polite. And I am not interested in letting the actions of one person, be the responsibility of another to manage. Die mad about it. You don't get a pass from people silently judging you and thinking you're a jerk, if you act like one. No matter what anyone else around you did first. That's a childish argument, and it always will be.
The other thing to mention is that good looks are VERY subjective. I've found women who were dressed in professional attire, very respectable attire, to be extremely sexy and worth looking at (I'm a bi woman.) A good looking fellow in a nice suit, who pulls off the look well, I might give a second glance. A person can be ogle-worthy wearing anything if they pull off the look well, really. How you act when you notice, is 100% on you.
And mostly what I, and probably a lot of women object to, as I said before, is not being noticed or looked at. It's an edge of aggression when you cross the line to "I'm going to do more and more overt things until she KNOWS that I'm lusting after her. I NEED her to notice me in return, as I am noticing her!" There is this element of vague question, is that man hoping he will get more than a look? Is he hoping he'll notice, she'll notice him noticing, and it will lead to sex? Is that the M.O. of his more overt behavior? Because I really think the odds of that working out are pretty low. And it is way more likely to feel menacing and creepy. I don't use the word "creepy" lightly...to me, it means transgressing a person's boundaries in an unwelcome way. So maybe ask yourself if tempted to leer, "Am I making this person uncomfortable? Am I transgressing their boundaries against their will right now?" If you don't care and you want to be able to violate others' boundaries and then blame them for it, well, you are part of a problem.
Women dressing in obviously sexy clothes "without any thought", as you say, just means they aren't thinking.
Do they not see the "yogapants" web sites or have any inkling of the idea that men find tight pants and bare midriff very attractive?
Going to a doctor's office or etc dressed like that is either : a) on purpose to be noticed ; or b) being naive and sort of "oblivious" (as you say, "not thinking").
Either way, some men are going to stare. And in my humble opinion women just have to accept this.
Men have to accept the fact that it is wrong to tell women they're sexy or comment on their clothes in the work place. Fair enough.
And women have to accept the fact that in public, some men are going to stare and come on to women dressed sexy. (At least until that is outlawed.)
It's in man's nature to admire the female form and if you're dressing sexy in public you've got to expect men to admire and like and perhaps comment on what you're showing off.
Trying to make men go against their nature and "not notice" is just as wrong as it is for men to stare, in this situation.
This from me, a man who abhors what people like Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein were proved guilty of doing. This from a man who believes in equal rights and equal pay for women. And from a man who does NOT stare but does notice and look.
But to ignore the nature of men and women and make rules and social mores accordingly is just "political correctness" at its worst.
You pulled an awful lot out of my post that isn't there.
I never said that men are not going to notice or look at an attractive woman. That's just nature. Staring is something anyone can make themselves conscious of and pull away from before too long.
MY POINT was that women do not necessarily dress with what men might think at the forefront of their minds for running errands or everyday activities. Simple as that.
Not to mention the fact that a lot of very attractive women I know, don't believe that they are that hot, at all.
The sexiest woman I can think of that I know well, a former girlfriend and dear friend of mine, is seriously self conscious about her looks, and thinks she's fat (she is NOT, she just has a gorgeously shapely body) and if she is wearing anything like yoga pants, she feels dumpy and dressed down. Lazy, like sweatpants. Everyone in the room is losing their trains of thought and looking at her, and she has no idea. She's in a form of denial about it. But she's also very sensitive to the concept of being perceived as vain, so she denies compliments a lot. Her whole psychology seems structured around denying how beautiful she is, but to be fair, she's also witty and brilliant and kind, she's really the "whole package" if you will.
Thing is, a guy might see her and think that she knows full well how sexy she looks and she chose to dress in tight pants and all because she wanted the attention, and it's really just not true. She would deny even being worthy of being looked at. She just put on what was comfortable, and she can't really seem to understand why anyone is into looking at her, and is half-oblivious to it most of the time. She does not see herself that way. She looks in a mirror and only sees what she thinks are flaws.
A lot of women are like this, guys. If you didn't know.
Everyone knows loose pants are most comfortable. Those wide leg capris in cotton, and loose yoga pants. The tight ones are more likely to cause infections and rashes. They don't wear them for solely for comfort. Same with skinny jeans, underwire bras, etc.
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