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I'm a woman. So no reason to jerk off. And how can YOU as a woman know how a man feels about sexual frustration?
I think it a mistake to think that it would only be the man's fault if he felt that frustrated. And it's one thing to think that way in our safe and stable First World country. However, in any Third World country, traditional Muslim country, or any country where the majority of the population is of a machismo culture... a provocatively dressed woman would be vulnerable to male harassment on all levels, from hard stares all the way up to rape.
I remember hearing stories from girlfriends coming back from visiting Italy, where they were pinched on their butt and the men also made hissing noises to get their attention. And it seemed that these Italian men only harassed the young tourist women, not the local women with this behaviour.
And in Africa, in the ghetto areas where there are community latrines set up, the women are afraid the use the toilets at night for fear of being raped.
And then of course, in traditional Muslim communities where their women are all covered up, they think any skimpily dressed women having looser morals or even being wh*res.
Are all these other men in the wrong? Of course they are. But imo a physically attractive woman should not be dressing sexually provocatively if she doesn't want the sexual attention of men.
As discussed in the Relationships section of C-D... if a woman is getting sexual advances from a man that she happens to be attracted to... then it's welcomed, even invited. However, if that woman in the short skirt is getting sexual attention from an unattractive loser... then he is a creep and a stalker. The problem is, that a woman doesn't have a way of becoming invisible to men that she isn't attracted. There is no way to block his line of vision in a public or work setting.
LOL, wasn't telling YOU to go home and jerk off.
But the way you phrased it made it sound as you thought that sexual frustration was a perfectly fine reason for forced sex. Yes, I'm aware it happens in some parts of the world without repercussion, but we are here in the first world. I am glad that that doesn't seem to be the case.
Yes, men are going to look. Years ago we had a pretty young woman in our office who wore skirts up to the bottom of her butt cheeks and complained that an older man in the adjoining office was a "pettyfiler" because she caught him looking at her. Another woman in the office said, "You are a grown-ass woman, and if you wear short skirts like that, men of all ages are going to look." My own bf is paranoid about looking at young women because he is in his mid-60s and doesn't want to be thought of as some old lech. I was amused when we went into a bank and he was trying so hard NOT to look at the 20-something teller wearing the low-cut shirt that exposed half her boobs.
I can't know how a man feels about sexual frustration, but I can know that most men follow the rules of our society wherein if an attractive woman passes though their line of vision, they know damn well it is not an invitation to leer, touch, or remark on her appearance. If a man does not abide by those rules, it's on him, not her.
While you're at it, guys, stop staring at women you DON'T find attractive, hehehe. Or at least be aware that when you stare at someone, they SEE it.
I am a six-foot-tall woman who spent most of her life commuting by public transportation. I cannot count the number of times some man coming the opposite way looked up at me, then down at my feet to see if I had on high heels, then back up again, gape-mouthed, when he saw I had on sneakers. It got amusing after a while, though toward the end of my career when I was getting cranky from the commute I started muttering out loud "WTF you looking at, moron?" Age has its privileges.
But the way you phrased it made it sound as you thought that sexual frustration was a perfectly fine reason for forced sex. Yes, I'm aware it happens in some parts of the world without repercussion, but we are here in the first world. I am glad that that doesn't seem to be the case.
Yes, men are going to look. Years ago we had a pretty young woman in our office who wore skirts up to the bottom of her butt cheeks and complained that an older man in the adjoining office was a "pettyfiler" because she caught him looking at her. Another woman in the office said, "You are a grown-ass woman, and if you wear short skirts like that, men of all ages are going to look." My own bf is paranoid about looking at young women because he is in his mid-60s and doesn't want to be thought of as some old lech. I was amused when we went into a bank and he was trying so hard NOT to look at the 20-something teller wearing the low-cut shirt that exposed half her boobs.
I can't know how a man feels about sexual frustration, but I can know that most men follow the rules of our society wherein if an attractive woman passes though their line of vision, they know damn well it is not an invitation to leer, touch, or remark on her appearance. If a man does not abide by those rules, it's on him, not her.
And don't forget, if a man looks at her and becomes sexually frustrated enough to stalk and rape her, it's only HIS fault.
If woman has the bad manners to dress in tight form fitting clothing that invites sexual attention, then she exhibiting bad judgment and bad manners for wearing something so inappropriate to the situation.
It's past time to put this stupid myth, that provocative clothing invites rape, out to pasture permanently.
Quote:
But studies show that it is women with passive, submissive personalities who are most likely to be raped—and that they tend to wear body-concealing clothing, such as high necklines, long pants and sleeves, and multiple layers. Predatory men can accurately identify submissive women just by their style of dress and other aspects of appearance. The hallmarks of submissive body language, such as downward gaze and slumped posture, may even be misinterpreted by rapists as flirtation.
“What Were You Wearing?” displays 18 outfits hanging next to 18 rape survivors’ stories about what they had on when they were attacked. T-shirts, exercise clothes, dresses, cargo shorts — they’re all there.
It’s also a myth that has been thoroughly debunked by the Justice Department, RAINN and many other organizations. A Federal Commission on Crime of Violence study found that just 4.4 percent of all reported rapes involved “provocative behavior” on the part of the victim. (In murder cases, it’s 22 percent.) It also found that most convicted rapists could not remember what their victims were wearing.
All that aside, there's the simple fact that every demographic from babies to the elderly gets raped, which rather puts this idea that sexy clothing on a shapely figure is a significant trigger for rape to the lie. About a third of sexual violence victims are children. About a tenth of sexual violence victims are male - that's a fairly small percentage of the whole, yes, but it's a lot of people. Yet no one is advising males to dress less sexy. And, I mean, come on. Coma patients get raped. Like, that was a really hot hospital gown the victim was dressed in?
Quote:
Sexual assault victims come from all walks of life. They can range in age from the very old to the very young. Many victims of sexual violence are under 12. Sixty-seven percent of all victims of sexual assault reported to law enforcement agencies were juveniles (under the age of 18); 34% of all victims were under age 12. One of every seven victims of sexual assault reported to law enforcement agencies were under age 6. Men and boys are sexually assaulted too. Persons with disabilities are also sexually assaulted.
The bottom line is that rapists have a disordered sexuality. It may seem "common sense" to a regular fellow that a pretty girl in a sexy outfit would be a rapist's preferred prey, because that's who they themselves are thinking having sex with. But a rapist is not generally committing rapes for the same purposes that one seeks out consensual sex. Many rapists have access to consensual sex. They are committing rapes because they want to rape. (I expect there are some exceptions, e.g. intoxicated date situations where one or both people have a poor understanding of consent - where there may not have been an intent to rape, but rape occurred nonetheless - but that wouldn't apply to attacks on random girls flaunting their stuff in public.) Their criteria for choosing a victim are not the same criteria used by an ordinary person to decide who to proposition as a sexual partner.
I'm still chuckling that yoga pants and showing your belly is provocative.
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I sympathize with you, OP. I'm a female and I believe there is a culture of slutty dressing some women may not understand they've fallen into. I don't know what the answer is. Go back to Victorian dresses with skirts to the ankles and sleeves to the wrists?
I agree with you. Lets go back to a bit of modesty.
Modesty is for both male and female. Personally I think all of what women have achieved in society has taken a huge step back because of the way singers and entertainers display body parts and gesticulations that belong behind bedroom doors.
I'm straight and I have looked at ladies with their curvy body and underwear that you can see through.
I have even yelled at a coworker,"Yo Rose,I can see your crotch get a longer shirt to cover that!"
We have stairs at work and imagining staring at that butt. Lol!
That's equivalent to camel toe, if you can see either, you are wearing the wrong size or cheap fabric.
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And don't forget, if a man looks at her and becomes sexually frustrated enough to stalk and rape her, it's only HIS fault.
If woman has the bad manners to dress in tight form fitting clothing that invites sexual attention, then she exhibiting bad judgment and bad manners for wearing something so inappropriate to the situation.
Tight fitting yoga pants are for yoga exercise, not to wearing in public or at work (unless works at a gym). What's wrong with wearing looser fitting clothing that doesn't accentuate a woman's breasts, crotch and butt areas? And the same goes for men wearing tight pants that reveals the outline of their penis.
If you are going to cite bad manners, well bad etiquette also covers the wearing of inappropriate clothing for the occasion. Enough with the double standards!!!!
And yes, there are times when victims are responsible for the bad things that happened to them. It's called NOT using common sense.
Sorry about the typo.
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