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I can't stop thinking about suicide. The only thing stopping me is the fear of failing or causing permanent damage to my mind and body and still feel the same sense of hopelessness. I just want the pain to stop. I just want the negative thoughts to go away. I'm afraid I'll lose whatever sanity left and be put in a psychiatric ward. I've been there. It doesn't help and makes me feel like a caged animal.
You need immediate help, so please contact the Suicide Crisis Line.
Once you stabilize, look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - it is short term therapy that can help you deal with negative thoughts.
Also helpful: Do something you love every day - eat a healthy diet, drink lots of water, exercise, get massages, talk to friends/family, get a pet, etc. There are a lot of holistic remedies, which, if you are interested in you can look up (things that help with depression). One big one might be magnesium. Take Epsom Salts bath or supplement magnesium (after checking with your doctor).
Try "tapping" (EFT). Robert Smith or Brad Yates on YouTube.
The main thing is that "This too shall pass." You are hurting, but it won't always be that way. Seek help.
I can't stop thinking about suicide. The only thing stopping me is the fear of failing or causing permanent damage to my mind and body and still feel the same sense of hopelessness. I just want the pain to stop. I just want the negative thoughts to go away. I'm afraid I'll lose whatever sanity left and be put in a psychiatric ward. I've been there. It doesn't help and makes me feel like a caged animal.
I would take a good, hard look at your diet. Consider supplementing with B vitamin complex (good quality, not WalMart type vitamins). Make sure you are getting plenty of Vitamin D via natural sunlight at least 20 minutes a day. If you live in a cloudy environment, look into artificial sun options and supplementation. Get plenty of sleep to boost serotonin levels.
Stay away from alcohol and drugs. They only make matters worse. Likewise, avoid circumstances in your life that act as triggers.
I can't stop thinking about suicide. The only thing stopping me is the fear of failing or causing permanent damage to my mind and body and still feel the same sense of hopelessness. I just want the pain to stop. I just want the negative thoughts to go away. I'm afraid I'll lose whatever sanity left and be put in a psychiatric ward. I've been there. It doesn't help and makes me feel like a caged animal.
In addition to the recommendations to get help immediately by getting under the care of a doctor and therapist and 20rsinBranson's good advice, you could try exercising at least every other day or every day. You will be amazed at how this could potentially boost your mood and also help you to stop those repetitive dark thoughts during the exercise. If all else is crap on a given day, you will at least have this to feel good about that you accomplished this one positive thing for yourself. In time, you will see positive results to your health and appearance as well and this will give you something to feel good about and motivate you to keep doing it.
I can't stop thinking about suicide. The only thing stopping me is the fear of failing or causing permanent damage to my mind and body and still feel the same sense of hopelessness. I just want the pain to stop. I just want the negative thoughts to go away. I'm afraid I'll lose whatever sanity left and be put in a psychiatric ward. I've been there. It doesn't help and makes me feel like a caged animal.
More information would be needed to even begin. Age, past history, current stresses, past diagnoses, etc.
In addition to the recommendations to get help immediately by getting under the care of a doctor and therapist and 20rsinBranson's good advice, you could try exercising at least every other day or every day. You will be amazed at how this could potentially boost your mood and also help you to stop those repetitive dark thoughts during the exercise. If all else is crap on a given day, you will at least have this to feel good about that you accomplished this one positive thing for yourself. In time, you will see positive results to your health and appearance as well and this will give you something to feel good about and motivate you to keep doing it.
I totally agree. I am always much happier when I have been exercising regularly. Our body and brain needs that to function properly.
It makes this point: We're all hard-wired to survive, but when the suicidal thoughts enter, they get into a loop. A really, really bad loop. They entrench themselves to a point where destroying one's self not only looks "okay," but it starts to look like a really good idea. It's as though you are brainwashing yourself.
You've got to break out of this loop.
You must, or you will ruin the lives of countless people.
Two years ago, my husband put a Glock in his mouth.
He ruined my life. He ruined our children's lives. He ruined everything. He ruined every single thing. I lost everything: My home, my car, my material possessions, my sanity and my health. All gone.
Two years later, I am starting to come out of the fog and I only hope that I can make a new life for myself. In the early months, I thought about suicide constantly. I had to make the pain stop. It's a devilish temptation, and ultimately, I decided that I had better play this round of golf to the final hole.
I will never be the same woman that I was before April 18, 2016. She's gone. Hopefully, I will find some joy in the years that remain to me.
All of which is to say, when you kill yourself, you don't end the pain. You just transfer it to someone else.
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