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Why do you think things are most pleasurable the first time/times you do them (grade school, teens, college, etc.)?
Is novelty in itself exhilarating? Is it one reason people become nostalgic about "the good old days"?
I can't speak for everyone, but it seems harder to get excited over things as you get older because you've already experienced so much. This goes double for people who have been in the same relationship or job for a long time. It's as if you have to exert more effort to derive pleasure out of things that seemed intensely pleasurable 10-15 years ago.
Even things like sex, outings with friends, and a movie night at the theater may not hold as much appeal for a 35-year-old as they would a 20-year-old.
Is it a combination of things coming more routine/familiar and shifting priorities? Is it been there, done that?
Why do you think things are most pleasurable the first time/times you do them (grade school, teens, college, etc.)?
Is novelty in itself exhilarating? Is it one reason people become nostalgic about "the good old days"?
I can't speak for everyone, but it seems harder to get excited over things as you get older because you've already experienced so much. This goes double for people who have been in the same relationship or job for a long time. It's as if you have to exert more effort to derive pleasure out of things that seemed intensely pleasurable 10-15 years ago.
Even things like sex, outings with friends, and a movie night at the theater may not hold as much appeal for a 35-year-old as they would a 20-year-old.
Is it a combination of things coming more routine/familiar and shifting priorities? Is it been there, done that?
I don't believe there is one reason but many, one being maturity...oh, there are things you'll still get excited about, but that does happen when priorities shift....
and I believe the older I get, as long as I keep creating getaways that give me something to look forward to, I still become excited about it...
If the thrill of excitement has grown out of things, then I suggest maybe trying something new, something perhaps you always wanted to do, but never did, like say, oil painting, take a weekend getaway, or a 3 day cruise....put the fun back in your life.
Here's an idea....if you like to read, rent a motel/hotel room for the weekend....somewhere with a pretty view...take a good book, along, and read. Go out to a dinner and splurge, say an upscale restaurant, and take the book along....go it alone, and for me, that is a great escape. LOL You come back rested and relaxed.
Partly a reduction of activity and responsiveness in the dopamine release/receptor system, especially if you tend to be a control freak or suppress emotions. Some people have to be taught to play again to begin to feel properly. Routine does dull the system, as you note.
Not to be contrary, but I enjoy things more now (68 next month). I had to work so hard when I was young, but was just thinking about this recently: life is so enjoyable now, much more than when I was young. I enjoy my freedom, my house, my pets, the food I eat, my clothing, teaching. Everything is so enjoyable. I'm so grateful to be alive, healthy, my own boss, and free from the 'tyranny of my own passions' and fear of public opinion (to paraphrase Bertrand Russell).
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Novelty definitely makes a first positive experience better than subsequent times. By the 50s-60s there isn't much you haven't already done that you will do. I can guarantee you that I will not ever do a bungie jump, skydive, or climb Mt. Denali, but I remember to this day the first time I drove a car, piloted a boat, drove a tractor, and many other things that seem normal and routine now though still enjoyable. Movies used to be the most common opportunity for something to do on a date. The date was enjoyable, the movie didn't really matter. Now a movie is expensive, and most available within a few weeks to stream online, so they are not going to hold the same appeal.
One analogy is with parents and babies. The first gets a picture taken almost daily, lots of videos, elaborate parties for birthdays or even milestones like first steps. More often than not that all tapers off considerably for the second kid, and the 3rd, if they have one, is lucky to have a birthday picture every year.
On the other hand, there are some things that I enjoy more now than when younger. Almost every vacation is better because we have more to spend, TVs are a lot bigger and better, and some foods I never get tired of but are now more of a treat, since age tells us that we should not eat them as often as before!
Why do you think things are most pleasurable the first time/times you do them (grade school, teens, college, etc.)?
Is novelty in itself exhilarating? Is it one reason people become nostalgic about "the good old days"?
I can't speak for everyone, but it seems harder to get excited over things as you get older because you've already experienced so much. This goes double for people who have been in the same relationship or job for a long time. It's as if you have to exert more effort to derive pleasure out of things that seemed intensely pleasurable 10-15 years ago.
Even things like sex, outings with friends, and a movie night at the theater may not hold as much appeal for a 35-year-old as they would a 20-year-old.
Is it a combination of things coming more routine/familiar and shifting priorities? Is it been there, done that?
Because you have limited responsibilities weighing on you, and the weight of responsibilities elsewhere in life is a large factor in not being able to fully enjoy one's self in the moment.
I think you'll find that young people with an atypical burden of responsibility typically lack the carefree, exhilarating experiences of youth that you describe.
I think you'll find that young people with an atypical burden of responsibility typically lack the carefree, exhilarating experiences of youth that you describe.
This describes me, though I don't think you meant to. While other children are playing outside, musicians are practicing. Nobody was really forcing me and I don't regret it, but some children don't have much of a childhood due to serious obsessions with art, music, science, literature, or some other field. Michelangelo famously said, "I don't have any friends and I don't want any." I know a lot of pianists like that.
Not to be contrary, but I enjoy things more now (68 next month). I had to work so hard when I was young, but was just thinking about this recently: life is so enjoyable now, much more than when I was young. I enjoy my freedom, my house, my pets, the food I eat, my clothing, teaching. Everything is so enjoyable. I'm so grateful to be alive, healthy, my own boss, and free from the 'tyranny of my own passions' and fear of public opinion (to paraphrase Bertrand Russell).
I don’t know about more pleasurable but being away from your parents for the first time is freedom like no other. You’re basically still a kid but now you can do adult things. It’s like you’re born again.
Then by your late 20s, you probably did as much crazy/risky things as you wanted and your brain is fully developed so now you settle down into being an actual adult.
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