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Old 06-13-2018, 08:12 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_ View Post
Hi. Well, maybe women deal with loneliness differently than men. It seems like women can fill that void with friendships. Maybe men can too, just not me. I think you're probably right about me needing to join some organization to get involved with to find someone. I just have no idea what kind of group would want me as a member.
What do you mean, you don't know what kind of group would want you? What kind of reason is that, to not join a group? They don't get to choose. You're the Decider. Just start going to your local bike group, get your name on a carpool list with the hiking club, etc. Just join. Nobody votes you in or out.
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Old 06-13-2018, 08:12 PM
RJ_ RJ_ started this thread
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGal7 View Post
Have you thought about getting a dog? My mom rescued a dog after my dad passed away and that little ball of fur saved her. Having a dog that you can take out for walks is also a good way to meet new people. A dog will literally always be ecstatic whenever you come home and it will give you unconditional loyalty, which is hard to get from most humans. I'm a cat person but I like little dogs like the one my mom has, and I can see getting one one day in the future.
I've had a dog since I was 18 years old. Just put my second dog down a few months ago at the age of 15. God a new pup now, she's 5 months old. A dog is better than having no one at all, but still not a replacement for an actual woman that can relate to my experiences.
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Old 06-13-2018, 08:15 PM
RJ_ RJ_ started this thread
 
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Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
.

Well, that's something you're going to need to work on. People aren't going to want to be around someone who doesn't like people.
You're not kidding. It's been that way since I was little. Some docs put me on the autism spectrum, others just think I don't have the proper skills. I disagree with both of them. I have the skills, I just don't gain anything personally from being socially active. I like having just one person. And some family. I don't have friends.
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Old 06-13-2018, 08:22 PM
RJ_ RJ_ started this thread
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
What do you mean, you don't know what kind of group would want you? What kind of reason is that, to not join a group? They don't get to choose. You're the Decider. Just start going to your local bike group, get your name on a carpool list with the hiking club, etc. Just join. Nobody votes you in or out.
Hey, thanks for the comment. I don't live in a city, so there's not many groups to join. It's a rural area and pretty much everyone already has their group of friends they hang with.
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Old 06-13-2018, 09:08 PM
RJ_ RJ_ started this thread
 
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I tried Tinder, but I already knew most of the people I saw on there since my area is so rural. I could do a different online dating site and just expand my distance 100 miles or so. But would someone want to drive that far to meet up?
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Old 06-13-2018, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,599,006 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_ View Post
This isn't about sexual gratification, it's about having someone to share life experiences with.
If that is true, then why must it be a woman?
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Old 06-13-2018, 09:38 PM
RJ_ RJ_ started this thread
 
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Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
If that is true, then why must it be a woman?
Because I want a partner in life and I'm not gay. I want someone to wake up with, spend my day with, take trips with, and to love.
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Old 06-13-2018, 09:41 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_ View Post
... I'm not gay.
Ok, but "sharing life experiences," which is what you originally said, has nothing to do with being gay. You can share life experiences with a best friend also.

It's a little bit about sexual gratification, right?

You want a spouse?

It's not easy being the ONE person who is someone's everything in life, you know.
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Old 06-13-2018, 09:50 PM
RJ_ RJ_ started this thread
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Ok, but "sharing life experiences," which is what you originally said, has nothing to do with being gay. You can share life experiences with a best friend also.

It's a little bit about sexual gratification, right?

You want a spouse?

It's not easy being the ONE person who is someone's everything in life, you know.
No, you're right. I had a friend once. We used to go golfing together, I would play basketball with his daughters, we spent a lot of time together. But that friendship just faded away. He got super busy as his girls moved into high school. There was no more time for me.

To the sex thing, well, yeah, I mean sex is fine and everything, but It's not really my motivation at this stage of life.
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Old 06-13-2018, 09:57 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,599,006 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_ View Post
No, you're right. I had a friend once. We used to go golfing together, I would play basketball with his daughters, we spent a lot of time together. But that friendship just faded away. He got super busy as his girls moved into high school. There was no more time for me.

To the sex thing, well, yeah, I mean sex is fine and everything, but It's not really my motivation at this stage of life.
Honestly, your motivation is the problem. This:

Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_ View Post
I don't see the point to doing anything in life if it can't be shared with someone else.

... is just not healthy.

I understand that you are living a mostly solitary existence now, but the fact that you see NO value in it is what is keeping you from happiness.

As long as you look to others to make you feel whole and refuse to see the worth of stuff you do just yourself, you will be unfulfilled. You have to figure out a way to appreciate just being YOU. When you are a more content person, you are naturally more attractive to others.
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