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Keep looking - I would think many would applaud your care of your parents, at least anyone with a sense of family.
Not me.
The OP moved his pushover mother and abusive father into the tiny home he shared with his wife, without regard for his marriage. The parents have been there for 14 years, not because they’re in ill-health but because they completely neglected putting anything aside for their retirement.
Obviously the OP has to ask himself a lot of questions and come up with honest answers. One of them might be, “Am I in any way like my father?”
I'm sorry if this isn't the right area for this thread.
I hate being alone. I always have. It's not that I like people that much and I don't like crowds at all. But I've never liked doing things by myself, it always felt pointless. I'm 46 years old. I've been single for 90% of my adult life and I hate it.
Most of my relationships imploded because I got into them out of desperate loneliness. I don't see the point to doing anything in life if it can't be shared with someone else.
So, I was wondering how other people cope with loneliness. I'd love some pointers or information about how I can find peace and contentment in my solitary condition. Thanks.
Well, I mostly live a solitary life too, but what I do to cope won’t necessarily work for you because I don’t hate being alone. I like to write and create things, so my mind is always occupied with something. But my issue is that I’d rather devote the majority of my time to my creative pursuits as opposed to going out and socializing. It doesn’t mean that I don’t still sometimes feel lonely, but my response to loneliness has never really been to seek out another person.
I just read the thread. So op is 45, living in a rural area, and suffers from severe loneliness.
First thing you need to do is kick your parents out of your house, if I’m understanding this correctly. No one wants to live in a small house with all those people.
So you want a companion? You have to dig deep. You have to be willing to travel to different states and cities. You have to be willing to travel to different contries of people you meet from tinder from changing your location.
You won’t find a companion in a rural area. You have to get out of your comfort zone to go find one. I was lonely too and I was willing to travel to other countries to find that special one who I felt was my worth. Luckily, I was able to do so but it takes a lot of work and a lot of patience
The OP moved his pushover mother and abusive father into the tiny home he shared with his wife, without regard for his marriage. The parents have been there for 14 years, not because they’re in ill-health but because they completely neglected putting anything aside for their retirement.
Obviously the OP has to ask himself a lot of questions and come up with honest answers. One of them might be, “Am I in any way like my father?”
The OP is very singular-minded, to the point that he dismisses most all alternatives here, and I do think he needs to evaluate whether he shares any of his dad's traits.
Something is very wrong if 5 siblings live within 30 minutes yet won't help AT ALL with the care of the parents.
After reading your post, the first thought I had was wondering if you were on the spectrum. You say you dismissed the possibility, so let's say you are correct, my intent is not to argue. But know loneliness is the #1 complaint among those on the spectrum. Still, not saying you are wrong, but there are some excellent AS sites on the web that discuss coping with loneliness. One such site (a friend started it) is wrong planet dot com. (I just hopped on it and even the adult section is trending towards juvenile, but a search of "loneliness" brought up 10 pages of threads). It may (or not) be worth your time, but you will certainly see you are not alone with feeling alone.
Loneliness and depression go hand in hand. Another thought is to look into Wellbutrin, a mood elevator. It's not an SSRI, it doesn't level you out, making you numb. What it does is make your lows better and your highs higher.
Keep looking - I would think many would applaud your care of your parents, at least anyone with a sense of family. If you stop looking, you are less likely to find a solution.
Not me either. One cannot live any semblance of a normal life and do this for 14 years. Especially in a tiny house?
And apparently the parents were brought into the OP's home despite the parents not having health problems that required it? (I'm asking, have not read the other thread yet)
And apparently, the OP's wife was forfeited and cast aside to do this? Or was forced to leave because she disagreed or her opinions were not considered? (I have not read about that part yet in the other thread(s) if, indeed, that is correct or partially correct - so I'm asking, not stating a fact)
Last edited by matisse12; 06-14-2018 at 02:43 PM..
Everything that TR has said here is spot on. You want a companion for your own utilitarian needs, but you don't seem to be showing much empathy for this hypothetical person.
What will she get out of a relationship with someone who has intimacy issues, no interests, and expects her to be his entire social network?[/QUOTE]
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Add also that his parents have lived with him 14 years with no end in sight....
what would she get out of that?
I'm sorry if this isn't the right area for this thread.
I hate being alone. I always have. It's not that I like people that much and I don't like crowds at all. But I've never liked doing things by myself, it always felt pointless. I'm 46 years old. I've been single for 90% of my adult life and I hate it.
Most of my relationships imploded because I got into them out of desperate loneliness. I don't see the point to doing anything in life if it can't be shared with someone else.
So, I was wondering how other people cope with loneliness. I'd love some pointers or information about how I can find peace and contentment in my solitary condition. Thanks.
Humans are social animals, and human companionship is a natural need. It's possible to learn to live in isolation, but it's hard.
The way to deal with loneliness is to not be lonely. Get out there and socialize. If you screw up your relationships, that's likely a separate issue.
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