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humm, okay. Didn't mean to step on anyones feet or offend anyone. I came to the US, to VA to be specific in 2006 from a country where everyone pretty much is white. I had no idea that racism still exists in the US to that extreme in everyday life.
A black coworker showed me a poem once to explain to me what he has to deal with on a regular basis. That he gets judged on things white people get away with. I cannot find that poem online anymore but it had that "being late" statement on it.
Not sure why you think I am racist when I say that people like me have no clue what others have to deal with every day. I think seeing this as racist is very far fetched but if you choose to take this as an insult, my apologies
No, it's not about me being offended, it's about wanting to nip in the bud the idea that anyone thinks they can accurately rate the pain and suffering of others. It is absurd. You can't know.
Also, thank you for sharing that you've only lived here since 2006. I have always lived in the USA and am 58 years old. Race relations have done nothing but substantially improve in the decades I've been alive.
All this fanatical racism you hear about? It's politically-driven BS! Watch closer - notice that all the talk of it is coming from the media and politicians. Look around your work and personal life, are you seeing it? Ask your friends if they're seeing it? I'd wager alot that you aren't in any substantial way.
Humans will ALWAYS possess some degree of prejudice, we're designed that way. But, race relations are in better shape than they have EVER been in American history. Politicians are baiting with the idea that they terrible. IT IS A LIE. Trust your own eyes and ears.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation
I lived in Iowa for a year. A lot of my coworkers picked on me because I have a strong Southern accent. Some were ribbing, but others seemed to legitimately think I grew up with no shoes, electricity, or anything. There is a lot of anti-Southern/anti-Appalachian bias throughout a lot of the country.
It's true there is and it's likely unfair. However, I must say, having lived in the Southeast for over 25 years, if there is any region of America that could be reasonably accurately stereo-typed, it would be the Southeast. It has been more homogeneous than any other region of the USA.
No, it's not about me being offended, it's about wanting to nip in the bud the idea that anyone thinks they can accurately rate the pain and suffering of others. It is absurd. You can't know.
Also, thank you for sharing that you've only lived here since 2006. I have always lived in the USA and am 58 years old. Race relations have done nothing but substantially improve in the decades I've been alive.
All this fanatical racism you hear about? It's politically-driven BS! Watch closer - notice that all the talk of it is coming from the media and politicians. Look around your work and personal life, are you seeing it? Ask your friends if they're seeing it? I'd wager alot that you aren't in any substantial way.
.
So you are saying there is no racism? I have black friends in CA and VA who tell me about how they get treated differently and judged.
Even though this was sad...I learned a lot. Thanks for sharing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi
My maternal grandparents disowned my sister & I from birth until I was 10 years old, because my father was not Greek.
Our birth announcements were “return to sender”. Same with school portraits tucked into cards; everything; for 10 years.
My mom was a rebel; the first female in the entire Denver Greek community (2nd largest under Chicago) to disobey & protest the practice of arranged marriage. That was in 1968. She was disowned on the spot when she informed her parents that she had made her own choice.
In my parent’s wedding pictures you can see that one entire side of the church is empty. She made her dress & veil herself & nobody came. She sent letters that were all refused. Made phone calls that were hung up on.
Sometimes I would get angry & make the mistake of calling my grandparents “Stupid” for acting this way & she would be quick to set me straight. She said more hate wouldn’t make anything better & that holding a grudge was unhealthy.
Sometimes I said “Well, if they don’t like how we do things here; why did they come?” She said her parents were brave to have come to America so that their children would at least have a chance for an education & that she knew that what she had done caused them a lot of embarrassment within the community that had been their comfort. She said she knew that they loved her but they didn’t know how to show it ... yet.
And she was right, they just needed time to “get their priorities straight”.
So you are saying there is no racism? I have black friends in CA and VA who tell me about how they get treated differently and judged.
You seem to have missed this part of my post -- "Humans will ALWAYS possess some degree of prejudice, we're designed that way."
Go to ANY country in the world and you will encounter varying degrees of bigotry, racism, prejudice of some sort.
How about the owner of that Red Hen Restaurant in VA last weekend? She asked a party of 7 people to leave her restaurant in the middle of their meal because she decided she didn't like one of them, even though she had never met that lady before and does not KNOW her. Pure bigotry.
I was going to come back and edit my post above. Yes, in recent years there has been a flair-up of racism. A very intentional one. The concept of "white privilege" is exactly the definition of racism. It was created to try to assign guilt. They're suggesting you and I are guilty merely because, by no choice of our own, we were born of a certain skin color and we have it better than people born of other skin shades, they say. There's a kernel of truth to it as long as we live in Western countries. But, plop us in Asia, Africa, the Middle East, etc. and let's see how "privileged" we are.
That concept also demeans people of color. It suggests to them that they are worth less. That's despicable.
Eve, you seem like a sincere person. Stop automatically believing politicians and the fake media...they are working agendas and intentionally victimizing people. It's sick.
My maternal grandparents disowned my sister & I from birth until I was 10 years old, because my father was not Greek.
Our birth announcements were “return to sender”. Same with school portraits tucked into cards; everything; for 10 years.
My mom was a rebel; the first female in the entire Denver Greek community (2nd largest under Chicago) to disobey & protest the practice of arranged marriage. That was in 1968. She was disowned on the spot when she informed her parents that she had made her own choice.
In my parent’s wedding pictures you can see that one entire side of the church is empty. She made her dress & veil herself & nobody came. She sent letters that were all refused. Made phone calls that were hung up on.
Sometimes I would get angry & make the mistake of calling my grandparents “Stupid” for acting this way & she would be quick to set me straight. She said more hate wouldn’t make anything better & that holding a grudge was unhealthy.
Sometimes I said “Well, if they don’t like how we do things here; why did they come?” She said her parents were brave to have come to America so that their children would at least have a chance for an education & that she knew that what she had done caused them a lot of embarrassment within the community that had been their comfort. She said she knew that they loved her but they didn’t know how to show it ... yet.
And she was right, they just needed time to “get their priorities straight”.
GREAT STORY! Thanks for writing it. You add valuable perspective to this thread. PREJUDICE evidences itself in many, many ways. The list is endless of the ways that people will prejudge others.
You also had an amazing Mother! She was very mature and wise about humans, life and psychology.
Recently we went to one of those stores that are very small and barely any space to move
Later my wife tells me: "Did you see the way that lady kept on looking at us?"
I laughed and told her: "That's normal for me, I don't even pay attention because I know they are looking at me"
Oh...that does remind me of some restaurant experiences I've had when I have been out with men of color. So many times when I am with a date of different ethnicity than I we are asked if it is "one check or two?"
I have to say it is VERY rare for that to be asked if I'm with a white guy - it is clearly assumed that we are TOGETHER. I don't know if they are afraid I'd be insulted if they assumed I was part of a mixed race couple or if they just think it very unlikely we'd be together romantically.
I don't know if someone mentioned it yet, or not? But there is a great deal of prejudice against childless people. Or, perhaps "prejudice" is too strong a word?
Maybe indifference? Lack of concern?
Either way, that attitude is amplified if you are childless -- and -- single, to boot.
People who are childless are often the ones who get laid off of a job first. If you have children, it is an advantage -- especially if your boss/supervisor has children too. You will be invited to parties, socialize more, have more things to talk about and have the possibility of building a deeper and more meaningful relationship with your boss/supervisor. Over time, this will ensure that if cuts are made, you are not on the chopping block. The boss/supervisor will empathize with you and make sure that you are not effected so that your children are not effected. The childless person is believed, whether true or not, to be able to "fend for themselves" better and there is not as much concern for them.
Recently, myself and several colleagues had to attend a mandated meeting where we had to listen to input from a school principal. This principal is a married mom, with two children. During the conference, the principal remarked that, "you don't really understand children until you have your own". I found that remark to be a bit biased/prejudiced and also out of character for someone at her professional level.
For one thing, I am childless through no fault of my own. I wanted children but my husband at the time did not. We ended up divorcing and I am single now, and not in a position to have a child, financially or mentally. I do have nieces and nephews that I act as a "second mom" to, and whom I help out financially when I can.
My other two colleagues who I attended the meeting with, also happen to be childless. One is in her 40s and wanted children, but couldn't have them due to her husband having testicular cancer and other health issues. The other woman is in her mid-50s and never had children because she was in an abusive relationship in much of her child-bearing years.
Needless to say, not one of the three of us who are childless took this woman's comment lightly. We all work with children, we all have children in our lives either through work, or because we aunts and, I believe, we all know children very well.
Regardless though, the prejudice or indifference to childless people is persistent and ugly.
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Location: Dallas, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesg
It hurts those who imagine they see it everywhere except in their own mirrror. Find me one person who is innocent.
Niiiiice there, jones. Blaming the victim for their own hurt, then add insult to injury by saying in effect "You're guilty of it too", as though being prejudiced yourself makes you fair game for other people's prejudices.
Oh I suppose I did, trying to work in a profession that was primarily male territory at the time. Don't really recall after spending the next 35 years IN that profession.
Maybe what matters more in the long view is what you DID about that perceived prejudice. Did you go out and murder the ones doing it to you? Did you decide to hate them without discernment? Did you sulk in a closet moaning about injustice, or did you decide to ignore it, let it roll off your back and get on with what was important to you?
True. And I will admit I had quite a few revenge fantasies. But they were quite benign because I never would have hurt anyone. But I have a great imagination! I did get on with it but my real true passion was destroyed. I never did find anything else that was as interesting as what I lost. I was successful but there was no joy in it. It was just a job. I still wonder, what if?
What I learned was that life is never fair and you always need to watch your back. They will ********* if they get the chance.
sometimes it goes the other way you can be penalized for being white...
my son was top 5% of his pharmacist class got 6 interviews...… and was told by everyone of them he interviewed tremendously...
but he didnt get one of the jobs the hospitals were looking for more "color" and diversity.... he was even told by two of the applicants ...they broke down and cried at a couple questions because they didnt know the answer....yet it didnt matter ..
my son called the panel of interviewers and a couple of the guys said they would hire him...he was the most qualified of the applicants but the h.r. department said they need more women/color
he asked me isn't this reverse discrimination??? I said absolutely and its encouraged by the left...
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