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Old 04-02-2019, 09:59 AM
 
2,362 posts, read 1,915,502 times
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Stay single
no dependants

secret to joy
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Old 04-03-2019, 06:25 AM
 
Location: Shreveport, LA
1,609 posts, read 1,593,865 times
Reputation: 995
Be willimg to put your happiness above the happiness of others.

The sooner you realize there is only power and those who are strong enough to seek it are going to be the happy ones, the happier you’ll be.

I started destroying anybody who got in my way and making gobs of money and am much happier than when I bought into the mass hysteria that charity was the key to happiness. It is truly better to recieve than to give.
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Old 04-04-2019, 09:51 AM
 
4,299 posts, read 2,801,433 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
Be willimg to put your happiness above the happiness of others.

The sooner you realize there is only power and those who are strong enough to seek it are going to be the happy ones, the happier you’ll be.

I started destroying anybody who got in my way and making gobs of money and am much happier than when I bought into the mass hysteria that charity was the key to happiness. It is truly better to recieve than to give.

I partially agree with you. Caring about what others think will drag you down and if you don't donate money when you don't have much you shouldn't feel bad. However if it significantly hurts other people you shouldn't put your happiness above theirs (like don't steal from innocent people and care about your loved ones to an extent). It's okay to be selfish sometimes. There's just certain limits you shouldn't cross.
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Old 04-04-2019, 12:28 PM
 
892 posts, read 481,068 times
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cognitive therapy seems to help. you learn what you were told (before yr brain could distinguish where issues were coming from) can affect what triggers certain feelings later on. then you can do something about it, and not just feel confused or helpless.
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Old 04-05-2019, 09:34 AM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,565 posts, read 3,791,226 times
Reputation: 5866
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153 View Post
So many people post in this forum who seem to be so unhappy; personal problems of all kinds, problems with family, problems with love. But it seems to me sometimes that the person is just, really, bored. They are not doing anything that makes them hapoy, they're just ruminating over the behavior of this or that person. And it's pointless because you can't change people. And you shouldn't put your life on hold, waiting for them to change.

I am not qualified to evaluate anyone but I wonder if often it would help to set the ruminating aside for a moment and figure out what would really bring joy into their life. It could be anything: rollerskating, bicycling, cooking, playing music, whatever made them happy as a child. I firmly believe that everyone has gifts. You have to find what makes you happy and pursue it. And tell people, if they're not going to be sweet to you, they can't be in your life.
I agree - we can’t change other people, but we absolutely can change how we react to people and the world (grudges, ruminating, selfishness, etc). Finding our own joy - and sharing/spreading it with people we love and care about, is the single-most important thing we can do.

A close second is helping other people. It gets us out of our own head - and it’s impossible to do something good for someone else and not feel better about yourself in the process.
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Old 04-05-2019, 11:15 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
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I'm still trying to figure out why I have to be alive.

Days, weeks, months, years, anything. I'm not sure why I'm here.
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:33 AM
 
4,299 posts, read 2,801,433 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
I agree - we can’t change other people, but we absolutely can change how we react to people and the world (grudges, ruminating, selfishness, etc). Finding our own joy - and sharing/spreading it with people we love and care about, is the single-most important thing we can do.

A close second is helping other people. It gets us out of our own head - and it’s impossible to do something good for someone else and not feel better about yourself in the process.

I hate this saying because my happiness relies on circumstance. If I'm in a crappy job for example I'm going to feel crappy. There's no silver lining for me.
I'm not going to necessarily state that we can change other people either because lord knows I've tried changing other people. If they don't want to change then they are not going to. So there needs to be a middle scenario. I'm sure you can change reality without changing other people. I still strive to believe reality is whatever you want it to be. It requires brain power..sadly when you overthink like I do this is a challenging step so I'm sure there is something to the laws of attraction but you have to figure out how to make it work for you.
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Old 04-06-2019, 09:53 AM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,565 posts, read 3,791,226 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickchick View Post
I hate this saying because my happiness relies on circumstance. If I'm in a crappy job for example I'm going to feel crappy. There's no silver lining for me.
I'm not going to necessarily state that we can change other people either because lord knows I've tried changing other people. If they don't want to change then they are not going to. So there needs to be a middle scenario. I'm sure you can change reality without changing other people. I still strive to believe reality is whatever you want it to be. It requires brain power..sadly when you overthink like I do this is a challenging step so I'm sure there is something to the laws of attraction but you have to figure out how to make it work for you.
However, you still have the power to do something about your circumstances (or how you react). If you perceive the situation (crappy job, for example) as hopeless or as the reason for your unhappiness, you will be unhappy - and stuck. But what got you into the job in the first place? Or what can you do to get a different job? Or even - what things/people/hobbies do you enjoy outside of work which can help you get through the day at work seeing things in a more positive light and/or making changes? That would be changing your reality without changing other people - and a step toward avoiding unhappiness.
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Shreveport, LA
1,609 posts, read 1,593,865 times
Reputation: 995
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickchick View Post
I partially agree with you. Caring about what others think will drag you down and if you don't donate money when you don't have much you shouldn't feel bad. However if it significantly hurts other people you shouldn't put your happiness above theirs (like don't steal from innocent people and care about your loved ones to an extent). It's okay to be selfish sometimes. There's just certain limits you shouldn't cross.
Oh, but you can have so much more when you cross those lines. My loved ones except my mother are all dead, and nobody is really innocent. When I find a weakness in my prey, I exploit it and take as much as I can. It got me the money to get the schooling to get an academia job, but I have higher ambitions. I want the kind of money legends are born from. As everybody knows, only money can buy happiness. I do enjoy knowledge and wisdom, however, and am considering changing fields to study life extension. I doubt I’ll be the one to make the breakthrough, but the only thing more valuable than money is time. I’m trying to become healthier as well, so my life will still be better.
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Old 04-07-2019, 02:29 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,084 posts, read 18,469,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
Oh, but you can have so much more when you cross those lines. My loved ones except my mother are all dead, and nobody is really innocent. When I find a weakness in my prey, I exploit it and take as much as I can. It got me the money to get the schooling to get an academia job, but I have higher ambitions. I want the kind of money legends are born from. As everybody knows, only money can buy happiness. I do enjoy knowledge and wisdom, however, and am considering changing fields to study life extension. I doubt I’ll be the one to make the breakthrough, but the only thing more valuable than money is time. I’m trying to become healthier as well, so my life will still be better.
Somehow behaving like a modern-day Scrooge doesn't seem like a very healthy way to live. I watched a parent give up everything to clutch at every dollar for decades. He ended up suspicious, depressed, angry and resentful over every missed "opportunity", cynical, sick from self-neglect, in a grimy rundown house all by himself. He'd ignored and eventually run off his friends and neighbors and couldn't even get any joy out of all that money he'd carefully piled up in the bank for himself. He'd lost the whole point of having it. Be careful. Its not hard to end up just like him. Life extension might just end up meaning more of same.
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