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Unless they are asking in a certain way, one that implies their plans are much better than your own, I really don't see the issue here. They are probably just trying to be friendly.
Yes. I think the OP feels that he is constantly being evaluated. Yes, some people do judge you. Then others may be exploring common interests. And yet others are probably just making small talk.
Does anyone else get bothered when people ask you personal questions about your holiday or weekend plans?
I always find this rude. For one thing, maybe I don't want to tell them my plans. For another, maybe I don't have a big event planned for a holiday, and so I always feel uncomfortable and awkward.
What do you think? Do you consider it rude to ask these questions? How do you handle it when you don't have an interesting answer?
it doesnt bother me at all. it's all chit-chat. they are not really interested in your plans and there is nothing wrong with simply answering that you are going to relax and do nothing.
How would you feel about someone you don't know very well asking when and where you are going to be on a certain day? It's kind of the same thing. If I'm friends with the person it's different, that's the kind of thing that I would probably talk about comfortably. But not if they are just an acquaintance. I get questions like that from people I really don't know that well, as if it's just small talk. It's really not.
What kind of things are they asking? "Are you going to the fireworks tomorrow?" isn't the same as asking for your ATM pin or inviting themselves to your home. Your insecurity about not having plans doesn't make idle small talk malicious.
Does anyone else get bothered when people ask you personal questions about your holiday or weekend plans?
I always find this rude. For one thing, maybe I don't want to tell them my plans. For another, maybe I don't have a big event planned for a holiday, and so I always feel uncomfortable and awkward.
What do you think? Do you consider it rude to ask these questions? How do you handle it when you don't have an interesting answer?
I don't think people mean it to be rude; it's mostly just an excuse to, after pretending to listen to your plans, tell you all about THEIR plans (if they're asking, you may be sure they have some).
Does anyone else get bothered when people ask you personal questions about your holiday or weekend plans?
I always find this rude. For one thing, maybe I don't want to tell them my plans. For another, maybe I don't have a big event planned for a holiday, and so I always feel uncomfortable and awkward.
What do you think? Do you consider it rude to ask these questions? How do you handle it when you don't have an interesting answer?
It’s a normal question to me. It’s just making small talk.
If they despised you or didn't care one iota about your life, they wouldn't bother with such innocent, friendly small-talk. The mere fact that they ask says that they are reaching out, trying to start a conversation. So I urge you to accept their reaching out as friendliness, rather than view it with suspicion.
Sometimes even small-talk can feel weird, like if I randomly asked you, "What are some of your hobbies?" It could feel weirdly out of place. But if a holiday is in a couple days, and I ask you about your plans, to most people, it feels relevant and timely, an easy way to start a conversation.
Even if you have no plans (as I often don't), just smile and say, "Oh not much, just gonna relax on my day off, how about you?" or something similar.
I think you are overreacting to friendly small talk.
I get asked every Friday/Monday from coworkers I am not close to. I'll say something like "Lots of chores" or "not sure yet, HOW ABOUT YOU?" or "I had a lot of work to do around the house" or "i was just chilling."
In the poster's defense: I know it can sometimes be taken as a "dig" -- or even be a deliberate "dig" -- for someone always partying with family and friends to ask you about your plans when he or she knows darn well you most likely don't have plans. It happens. People can be mean. It's a way of feeling superior.
How would you feel about someone you don't know very well asking when and where you are going to be on a certain day? It's kind of the same thing. If I'm friends with the person it's different, that's the kind of thing that I would probably talk about comfortably. But not if they are just an acquaintance. I get questions like that from people I really don't know that well, as if it's just small talk. It's really not.
Yes, it is just small talk. Several posters have made good suggestions as to how to answer if you don't care to share your plans or lack thereof. Simply say something to the effect of, "Nothing special. How about you?"
It's really not a big deal at all. I highly doubt anyone is trying to make you feel uncomfortable by asking such an innocent question.
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