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Old 08-02-2018, 07:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
One hears about people who have a public facade and are very different in private. It's surprising how easily people can be fooled - and friends or co-workers or acquaintances will maintain how pathological or negative personality traits could not possibly be part of the personality of someone who they think they know.
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Old 08-02-2018, 06:37 PM
 
Location: Tip of the Sphere. Just the tip.
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I remember most of my teachers being like this when I was a kid. Kind and engaging when they met my parents. Petty tyrants every other day in the classroom.
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Old 08-03-2018, 04:42 AM
 
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When that occurs it is lack of discipline with the individual as well as the family.

*J&H has not fully identified areas of personal weakness - poor self-evaluation skills.
*They usually expect family members to anticipate their needs without being explicit - a sign of poor communication which involves explanation and elaboration skills.
*They are not flexible when expectations are not met - an inability to explore options and make connections to their family. It is easier to do this with work and friends since there is usually a common goal.
*There is no plan on what to do if expectations are not met - lack of planning, inability to set better goals that all family members can agree on.

In general, they resort to building up anger and blowing up to get something they want. They will continue this behavior if it gets them results.
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Old 08-07-2018, 04:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Part of it is, to what degree one is different with a significant other, spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, family member or a relative.

Most everyone behaves differently with a significant other or family member, but it's the degree to which one behaves differently. While co-workers, friends, acquaintances may find a person personable, charming, and a very nice person, a significant other or family member may see a whole different side to the same person - and the degree to which that person behaves in pathological, negative, hurtful, angry ways is the crux.



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Old 08-28-2018, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Guess!
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You know a person is great when family, co-workers, and friends all think highly of them.

Sadly, and in these trying times, those people are rare as rain in the desert!
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Old 09-04-2018, 12:07 PM
 
388 posts, read 474,004 times
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Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Do you know of a person who behaves in a very charming, personable, happy, emotionally stable way with others - and others have a good opinion of him or her - but that same person behaves very differently with a significant other or relative or family member behind closed doors and in those relationships?
Yes. Teenagers.
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