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I don't remember this happening before retirement, but my husband now often has very violent dreams where he thrashes around, kicks me, grabs me and pretty much terrifies me. Yet he is the gentlest, kindest, non-confrontational "beta" male around. He has never even spoken a harsh word to me. He feels awful about it, too.
It might be understandable if he had been in the military (NOT) or had a violent job (NOT) or even played violent video games (NOT) or been in lots of fights (NONE). He's a non-aggressive pacifist.
We watch the usual Netflix with its usual gore but if it gets too gratuitous, we switch to something else.
He says "monsters are chasing him" and he's fighting back. He says he has these same dreams as a child and had to be comforted by his dad. I mean, c'mon, isn't age 63 a bit old to be "chased by monsters"? And why isn't the usual "sleep paralysis" working?
We don't have psychiatrists or sleep clinics here, so I'm just looking for anecdotal stories from others, if anyone's experienced it. What did you do? Separate bedrooms? Did they get over it?
I had to send him to the couch last night after he kicked and grabbed me. I should be more sympathetic, maybe, but I'm just pi$$ed off. Any armchair psychologists?
I don't remember this happening before retirement, but my husband now often has very violent dreams where he thrashes around, kicks me, grabs me and pretty much terrifies me. Yet he is the gentlest, kindest, non-confrontational "beta" male around. He has never even spoken a harsh word to me. He feels awful about it, too.
It might be understandable if he had been in the military (NOT) or had a violent job (NOT) or even played violent video games (NOT) or been in lots of fights (NONE). He's a non-aggressive pacifist.
We watch the usual Netflix with its usual gore but if it gets too gratuitous, we switch to something else.
He says "monsters are chasing him" and he's fighting back. He says he has these same dreams as a child and had to be comforted by his dad. I mean, c'mon, isn't age 63 a bit old to be "chased by monsters"? And why isn't the usual "sleep paralysis" working?
We don't have psychiatrists or sleep clinics here, so I'm just looking for anecdotal stories from others, if anyone's experienced it. What did you do? Separate bedrooms? Did they get over it?
I had to send him to the couch last night after he kicked and grabbed me. I should be more sympathetic, maybe, but I'm just pi$$ed off. Any armchair psychologists?
My dad was a navigator and bombardier on the B-26 Marauders during World War II. He returned to the states in 1945 and married my mother, and probably was suffering from what we now call post-traumatic shock. Lots of dreams about jumping out of burning airplanes. But your husband doesn't have those past experiences.
Not to suggest I'm really certain this is legit, but maybe you could try past life regression? I had a friend from Lyon, France who dreamed of running across rooftops in Paris during a fire. If your husband had these dreams as a child, a session or two with past life regression might turn up something helpful.
If I understand correctly, some human fears go back a very long way. Fear of falling may have originally been fear of an enfant falling from a nest or mother's arms, in a tree. In our primate, very early history. Monsters were real back then. It did not pay to wander too far from the fire, late at night.
I like this theory better than past life regression.
Recent studies indicate that we genetically retain the activities and emotions of our ancestors.
??
So a women born of a man who had survived traumatic experiences, may retain some of those emotions.
Last edited by KaraZetterberg153; 08-05-2018 at 01:49 PM..
Does he take any sleep aids? I have a sleep combo and many nights I have some "tough" dreams but no thrashing etc. Some say they can't take some sleep aids due to their dreams etc but for me my sleep is good so I deal with the dreams. Could be something he's eaten close to sleep time.
I don't remember this happening before retirement, but my husband now often has very violent dreams where he thrashes around, kicks me, grabs me and pretty much terrifies me. Yet he is the gentlest, kindest, non-confrontational "beta" male around. He has never even spoken a harsh word to me. He feels awful about it, too.
It might be understandable if he had been in the military (NOT) or had a violent job (NOT) or even played violent video games (NOT) or been in lots of fights (NONE). He's a non-aggressive pacifist.
We watch the usual Netflix with its usual gore but if it gets too gratuitous, we switch to something else.
He says "monsters are chasing him" and he's fighting back. He says he has these same dreams as a child and had to be comforted by his dad. I mean, c'mon, isn't age 63 a bit old to be "chased by monsters"? And why isn't the usual "sleep paralysis" working?
We don't have psychiatrists or sleep clinics here, so I'm just looking for anecdotal stories from others, if anyone's experienced it. What did you do? Separate bedrooms? Did they get over it?
I had to send him to the couch last night after he kicked and grabbed me. I should be more sympathetic, maybe, but I'm just pi$$ed off. Any armchair psychologists?
I used to have a stress dream and it always involved an emergency and me trying to call someone and somehow or someway something would sabotage the call happening. I had this dream for years until one night I got through and haven’t had the dream since.
My husband still gets the occasional stress dream and it usually signals something is going on during waking hours that is causing concern, or bothering him or underlying health issue.out.
I just finished writing a script that focused on dreams, specifically researching things having to do with sleep paralysis. There’s a condition that happens to some people where their body doesn’t turn on sleep paralysis and people have acted out dreams, even driven places and killed people all while sleeping. It’s fairly rare for it to be that extreme but much more common where there’s kicking and thrashing. You shouldn’t be sleeping in the same bedroom if that’s happening, he could hurt you without even knowing it. I personally think sleeping in the same bed or bedroom as someone else is overrated (my GF and I prefer our own rooms) anyway, for exactly reasons like this. Sleep is alone time for peaceful and quiet recovery, not to be hit or thrashed
I'd advise a therapist. Something is causing him stress or anxiety. For myself, I was having severe jaw pain and it turned out to be because I was grinding my teeth at night. I got fitted for a mouthguard which my dog promptly chomped to pieces. But it didn't matter because after understanding that stress was causing me to grind my teeth, I set about addressing the issues and making peace with them if not solving them entirely. That mouthguard lasted a week, and in that time I had largely corrected the problem just by knowing about it and taking steps in my emotional life.
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