Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But why dig for stuff if you have a good life, what's the point? Do you WANT to find a reason to feel bad about your life?
not sure why people here suggest counseling. For what? He says he has not been affected by it. Do you want counseling so you start digging for issues who weren't there before?
I would like to find out whether this potential abuse could have had an effect on my personality as well as be related to some psychological issues I have had.
I don't know whether talking to some specialist about it could help me get over something that I never suspected I would need to get over.
I would like to find out whether this potential abuse could have had an effect on my personality as well as be related to some psychological issues I have had.
I don't know whether talking to some specialist about it could help me get over something that I never suspected I would need to get over.
Talking to a specialist could help you figure out, though, whether this potential abuse could have had an effect on your personality and be related to your psychological issues, as you say.
That's really the only way you can find out. Speaking to strangers on an internet forum simply can't give you that. All it can give you is any one person's opinion, and these will conflict.
And again, you're saying you "never suspected (you) needed to get over it" yet here you're saying you do suspect it may have had an effect on your personality and be related to psychological issues.
Putting my own psych hat on here (which, again, is probably worth the paper it's printed on if that): you mentioned detachment from your sister...you sound like you've detached in general. You outright *state* you suspect it has caused issues, and you strongly hint you know it was wrong (by saying you'd never do that to a sibling), but then you claim it's not something you have to get over.
I think abuse involves a power dynamic - being that she was eight years older and she initiated it, then I think, yes, you could perceive it that way, but why would you want to?
Kids do "play doctor." Childhood sexual exploration is natural (I know the US doesn't think so, but it is - read up on "human beings as sexual animals." Our sexuality is present in utero).
Kids do "play doctor." Childhood sexual exploration is natural (I know the US doesn't think so, but it is - read up on "human beings as sexual animals." Our sexuality is present in utero).
Typical childhood "exploration" doesn't involve intercourse with your sibling.
I think abuse involves a power dynamic - being that she was eight years older and she initiated it, then I think, yes, you could perceive it that way, but why would you want to?
Kids do "play doctor." Childhood sexual exploration is natural (I know the US doesn't think so, but it is - read up on "human beings as sexual animals." Our sexuality is present in utero).
It's actually not normal for a 13-year-old to play doctor with an 8-year-old even given inherent sexual curiosity and playing doctor, between (usually very young) peers, does not usually involve penetrative sex.
I'm also curious (I'm a woman, BTW) as to what people would say if this were a 13-year-old male having had penetrative sex with his 5-year-old sister, who now had psychological issues (as the OP stated) and detachment. Would you be saying there's no sense digging up the past, it sounds like she enjoyed it some of the time anyway, and it's normal for siblings to do this and we're just uptight in U.S. culture or whatever? Legitimate question.
Wonder how many younger siblings were/are subject to this type of thing, maybe not to this extent. Lena Dunham admitted to playing around with her little sister and described it as normal. I suspect it happens more than we might think. It isn't normal or ok, kids who play doctor should be doing it with kids their own age - not older developing kids with some knowledge of sexuality done to little children! That is pedophilia.
Society is not yet up acknowledging or blaming children for abuses, whereas we have metoo for adults and exposure of pedophilia and domestic violence, we have nothing for children abusing children. I believe many children that are injured or killed in accidents at home were not accidents but violence perpetrated by siblings. Parents will cover for the perpetrator - why not since punishment will only serve to embarrass the family and no real prison time for a kid. Of course, you unleash a monster on the world.
As far as sibling sexual abuse, victims tend to keep quiet, or else try to normalize it like Lena Dunham. I'm not sure how therapists deal with this matter.
But why dig for stuff if you have a good life, what's the point? Do you WANT to find a reason to feel bad about your life?
not sure why people here suggest counseling. For what? He says he has not been affected by it. Do you want counseling so you start digging for issues who weren't there before?
It’s obviously concerning the op and he’s worrying about whether he has been affected by it with his shyness and porn addiction possibly being related to it.
Victims of abuse try to survive and get on with their lives but one way or another the abuse no matter how buried can rear its ugly head in the most unexpected way.
It’s obviously concerning the op and he’s worrying about whether he has been affected by it with his shyness and porn addiction possibly being related to it.
Victims of abuse try to survive and get on with their lives but one way or another the abuse no matter how buried can rear its ugly head in the most unexpected way.
Yes, porn addiction and emotional detachment can be related to childhood trauma such as sexual abuse. The victim doesn't usually know it's trauma and doesn't recognize that their relational behaviors are connected to the things they endured as children.
Professional help is definitely the way to go.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
