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I have always considered what happened to me as "normal", or at least nothing to be worried about.
When I was 5 and/or 6 I played doctor in multiple instances with my older sister (+8 years). I would explore her private parts and we also had "intercourse". I remember it would burn to pee afterwards.
Overall, I remember really liking it and perhaps even asking for it -- even though the passionate french-kissing was a bit too much at times (she would tell me she was training me to kiss girls).
Sometimes I wonder why I have always felt a bit detached from my sister (perhaps the eight years difference is enough to explain that).
To think of it, I would never have done that, had I had a sister that was 8 years younger than me.
What do you think? Could this have subconsciously negatively affected the development of my personality?
I have had normal life, gone through college, and been in a long-term relationship. I am addicted to pornography (kind of always have been since middle school) and I do have quite a few fetishes. Plus, I have always been pretty shy with girls (even though I am inclined to think that I would have turned out to be the opposite of shy, considering what happened between me and my sister).
Thanks!
Last edited by obsessivelycreative; 08-20-2018 at 12:31 PM..
Yeah, I do (think you were abused sexually). Not my area of expertise, however, but sounds wrong to me.
With boys, I think things sometimes are perceived differently. If you had been the girl and your sister had been a boy, heads would have rolled had you been found out.
I’d say seek professional counseling to help you sort this out.
Whether you are shy or addicted to porn has any relationship (cause/effect) is only something a professional can help you determine. Being abused or sexually curious at a young age Does not doom us to being porn addicted,or abusers, or shy, or turn to drugs/alcohol/prostitution,there are way too many other dynamics at play. Your detachment from your sister may have nothing to do with what happened but be related to gender and age differences and something a lot of siblings with such an age gap face.
OP, you weren't even schoolbag yet, or just barely so. 5?! That's outrageous! However, from what little you post here, it doesn't sound like you were traumatized. But we can't know, just from one brief post on a forum. Do you feel that the porn addiction is getting in the way of your seeking out relationships? You might attribute it to shyness, but there's more going on, obviously. Even if it's unrelated to the earlier situation, porn addiction does get in the way of sustaining a loving relationship, so you may want to address that with a psychologist who lists that as a specialty, or who lists addictions as one area of expertise.
But why dig for stuff if you have a good life, what's the point? Do you WANT to find a reason to feel bad about your life?
not sure why people here suggest counseling. For what? He says he has not been affected by it. Do you want counseling so you start digging for issues who weren't there before?
But why dig for stuff if you have a good life, what's the point? Do you WANT to find a reason to feel bad about your life?
not sure why people here suggest counseling. For what? He says he has not been affected by it. Do you want counseling so you start digging for issues who weren't there before?
Well, because while he says that, he also says he's addicted (his words) to porn, and it bothers him enough that he sought the opinion of hundreds of strangers. He also says he would not have done that to a sibling, indicating he DOESN'T think it was okay, as well as noting that he's detached from the sister. He's the one saying something's up...in his every word.
If he were not affected by it I can't imagine he'd be doing any of that. Seems pretty obvious, really. You don't go out of your way to create an account on a forum and then post on it about a specific issue that just doesn't bother you and is fine.
Last edited by JerZ; 08-20-2018 at 01:10 PM..
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That's outrageous! However, from what little you post here, it doesn't sound like you were traumatized. But we can't know, just from one brief post on a forum. Do you feel that the porn addiction is getting in the way of your seeking out relationships? You might attribute it to shyness, but there's more going on, obviously. Even if it's unrelated to the earlier situation, porn addiction does get in the way of sustaining a loving relationship, so you may want to address that with a psychologist who lists that as a specialty, or who lists addictions as one area of expertise.