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For quite a long time (last 10 years probably) I'm showcasing really weird behavior. Although I'm fully aware that what I'm doing is insanely stupid and rooted in my own self-made superstition, I just can't seem to let go because my brain always finds a way to prove me wrong.
For example : I believe that If I listen to a certain kind of music that something bad will happen. Also, there is the opposite when listening to a couple of other artists - only good things occur and I kinda feel safe. I'm stuck in this wheel and every time I break it something bad indeed happens. My friend died at a very young age suddenly just the morning after I was listening to a band I consider a bad omen. My girlfriend also dumped me a couple of months ago when I stopped listening to "lucky" music and now I believe that I can reverse that state or prevent her from falling in love with someone else by listening to the "good" bands exclusively. Situations really range from small everyday things to life changing events so it's really hard to break out of that vicious cycle.
Also, when I find myself looking at the clock and see the same numbers (like 21:21 or 01:01) I feel like things are going well or that what I was thinking at the moment is confirmed as true. On the other side, seeing the diametrically opposite numbers (01:10 or 15:51) has quite the opposite effect.
I feel that my psychotherapist didn't understand me quite as well and diagnosed me with O.C.D but I'm really skeptical about it. I really don't know If I should medicate myself with a certain type of antidepressants that mends O.C.D.
It sounds exactly like OCD to me. You have compulsions to do certain things. The details of the compulsions are not 'important' to the diagnosis (although they are to you.)
10 years is a long time to be dealing with this. It's running your life. If it were me, I'd try the OCD medication. Changing the chemical imbalance in your brain might be exactly what you need.
We can't diagnose here on CD, of course, nor offer medication advice. Why don't you get an evaluation appointment with a psychiatrist, explain your concerns, get opinions. They are the ones who most often write prescriptions for mental health issues....maybe you need OCD meds as well as antidepressants.
We can't diagnose here on CD, of course, nor offer medication advice. Why don't you get an evaluation appointment with a psychiatrist, explain your concerns, get opinions. They are the ones who most often write prescriptions for mental health issues....maybe you need OCD meds as well as antidepressants.
I understood that he has already met with a therapist, who diagnosed OCD and prescribed medication. OP doesn't completely agree with the diagnosis.
I'd try another therapist. Sounds like you didn't connect well with the first one, but you do need to talk to someone, in my opinion. You won't be able to solve it on your own because you seem to have too many hangups.
When I was first diagnosed with ADHD, I argued with my psychiatrist and pretty much told her she was wrong. She politely asked me how many years of medical schooling I'd had before continuing on with her explanation of the diagnoses. Psychiatrists and therapists are trained to make these diagnoses based on observation, experience, and by what you share.
If you are skeptical, definitely get another opinion. Sounds like OCD to me, for what it's worth. Also, you don't take OCD-mending medication - there's no such thing. What you can do, however, is take medication prescribed for managing the stress/anxiety/intrusive thoughts which compel you to ritualize. The meds help to quiet your mind enough so that CBT, mindfulness, and other therapies have a chance to work.
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