Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I did experience this somewhat in my 20s, when I was single and living in a new city. Heck, I've still had a few instances of that with my top employee, because she's 15 years or so older than me, a mom, and some of her comments made me laugh.
Specifically, it was about food, and one of the things that I don't think any woman can really understand fully is that a guy's diet or eating just isn't like theirs, and doesn't have to be. This especially applies if she's in great shape, skinny, and he's muscular. My employee would always give me a hard time every single time we went out for lunch, "A burger and fries?! Oh my gosh, that's so bad for you though!" No, no it really isn't, because I don't eat out much except for with you, and when I do eat out, I eat to get full. She would meanwhile order a salad or something. Here I am all of these years later, still the same 31" waist, and I think what a lot of girls forget is that their dietary needs, especially let's say a short lady, may only be 1,400 to 1,750 calories per day, but my needs are 3,000 calories per day. I can afford to eat A LOT more than you can, and you don't need to mother me about my diet, because the standards are WAY different! It's not fair, but it is reality.
One of the most hilarious things to me in life is how so many people even of advanced age have managed to be on this planet for so long and acquired so little knowledge or true wisdom in the process. Yet they expect to be worshipped just for being older. I feel sad for them. If I was 50 or 60 and had so little grasp of the world around me, I'd be ashamed, but they seem proud to give us all advice and assert their opinions even where they don't belong. Best to just ignore them, honestly. They may mean the best, so politely smile, laugh it off, and just go on with your life. No harm, no foul.
I did experience this somewhat in my 20s, when I was single and living in a new city. Heck, I've still had a few instances of that with my top employee, because she's 15 years or so older than me, a mom, and some of her comments made me laugh.
Specifically, it was about food, and one of the things that I don't think any woman can really understand fully is that a guy's diet or eating just isn't like theirs, and doesn't have to be. This especially applies if she's in great shape, skinny, and he's muscular. My employee would always give me a hard time every single time we went out for lunch, "A burger and fries?! Oh my gosh, that's so bad for you though!" No, no it really isn't, because I don't eat out much except for with you, and when I do eat out, I eat to get full. She would meanwhile order a salad or something. Here I am all of these years later, still the same 31" waist, and I think what a lot of girls forget is that their dietary needs, especially let's say a short lady, may only be 1,400 to 1,750 calories per day, but my needs are 3,000 calories per day. I can afford to eat A LOT more than you can, and you don't need to mother me about my diet, because the standards are WAY different! It's not fair, but it is reality.
One of the most hilarious things to me in life is how so many people even of advanced age have managed to be on this planet for so long and acquired so little knowledge or true wisdom in the process. Yet they expect to be worshipped just for being older. I feel sad for them. If I was 50 or 60 and had so little grasp of the world around me, I'd be ashamed, but they seem proud to give us all advice and assert their opinions even where they don't belong. Best to just ignore them, honestly. They may mean the best, so politely smile, laugh it off, and just go on with your life. No harm, no foul.
A lot of people really do acquire wisdom as they age, but don't necessarily articulate it very well. In this case it seems as though some of these guys have a mommy complex of some sort - they see their moms in these women, and begin reliving their 16-year-old rebelliousness ("Don't tell me what to do, Mom!"). Always a heartbreaking time for a mother, to watch her children break away from her protecting arms. It's a natural part of the process of growing up, but never easy.
I suspect that if and when you have kids, you will start to sympathize and understand a little better what these people's motivations are.
Thank you, yes this is what I am sensing and have tried to talk to my own parents about this they tell me they have no idea what I'm talking about since they are not there but yes this happens and it makes me feel very awkward
Basically, I moved on my own to another state (broke up since former gf couldn't go with me and it ended) so i did move on my own, took a new job offer across the country and right now I'm single/living on my own and I pick up on these things from women, I do not like it and I don't want this to happen but it kind of happens and it does freak me out, this isn't what I need in my life and I have parents so i dont know what they're trying to do with the way they act
I think the best way to handle it is to kindly remind them that you're a grown man who doesn't need another mother. But...try to say it in a light tone. They definitely don't mean it in a menacing way...it's just some women are more "mother hen" than others.
OP, You still didn’t answer how old you are? The fact something like this even bothers you shows you must be younger.
Most women have motherly instincts, but I don’t think anyone in that age bracket of 40-60 is looking to treat you like a kid unless you actually are one or acting like one!
I’m in my 40’s (and a mother) but I’m not interested in being a mother to a man or treating one like a child for that matter. My job is to be a mother to my own kids not to a grown man. I can see someone much older doing this to you, but not the age bracket of which you’re speaking.
When this was happening to me, the lady who was doing all the mothering had her only child/son in college.
A lot of people really do acquire wisdom as they age, but don't necessarily articulate it very well. In this case it seems as though some of these guys have a mommy complex of some sort - they see their moms in these women, and begin reliving their 16-year-old rebelliousness ("Don't tell me what to do, Mom!"). Always a heartbreaking time for a mother, to watch her children break away from her protecting arms. It's a natural part of the process of growing up, but never easy.
I suspect that if and when you have kids, you will start to sympathize and understand a little better what these people's motivations are.
I'm never having kids, so no that probably won't happen.
It's also not a correct assumption that everyone has some rebellious tendency against their parents. In fact I'm probably one of the most rebellious people I know in the sense that -- like having kids -- I openly reject most of society's values and ideas about just about everything. But I never rebelled against my parents. In fact, they were the two people I trusted the most, and if my parents said something like, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" it always gave me serious pause for thought. These two people have my best interest in mind, if they're questioning the decision, I want to hear their reasons! I always assumed growing up that my parents have a lot more knowledge and experience than I do, and my best interest at heart, so I'm going to listen to what they have to say and do my best to take it to heart.
I also think that rebellious teenagers are actually conformists, which is probably the reason that a true rebel like me wouldn't rebel against their parents. If the "default" position and standard operating procedure is for idiotic teenagers to rebel against their parents, then I felt compelled to rebel against the idea of doing what everyone else does and instead realizing that parents probably are wiser than stupid teenagers 99.9% of the time. My mom remained my greatest ally and closest friend besides my dad until she died of breast cancer at 23. We were always great friends, and I loved her advice and encouragement and whatever she would share with me.
There are times, of course, that parents have your best interest in mind but don't really understand the bigger picture, but I'd never snap at my parents. I would just calmly explain what I was trying to do and why I thought it made sense, and let them give their two cents, too. I can't really recall many times I did anything they wouldn't support. I never even went to a single party in high school, I was a dedicated student.
PS: When it comes to rebellious tendencies, it may depend on the parents too. My dad is a very, very, very high net worth individual. When you're given a role model for success, then you can ignore their advice at your own peril. If my dad was an alcoholic blue collar worker who was in and out of jobs, sure, I might not care what he had to say about anything. But when he's the richest guy I know, then you listen, and you take notes.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
