The compassion paradox (feelings, psychologist, animals, people)

[silibran]

Originally Posted by Sassybluesy

I think it's in the non-romantic relationship forums, where a lady is talking about how she's engaged to be married to an African man, and how her parents didn't accept this.


She describes how a German missionary had given her fiancé money, and had gotten him into college, but the fiancé (who wasn't her fiancé at the time, just to be clear) had used the money for partying and drinking. He felt awful about it, and guilty, and all those things.


And the amazing thing is, that Missionary forgave this young man, and helped him again, and payed for his schooling. And this young man knew for sure, that what had been done for him was amazing, and appreciated the second chance.


To me, that is a lovely example of agape love. And a beautiful example of love and forgiveness.

You are right! It is a beautiful story, isn’t it?

[silibran]

Originally Posted by Lodestar

I much prefer the idea of empathy or understanding. I may not approve of a person's actions but sometimes I can understand them.

This stance helps me not to reward bad behavior but leaves room for the other to change without condemnation. And I hope for the same myself.

To understand is to forgive—Jewish proverb

[elyn02]

Originally Posted by silibran

To understand is to forgive—Jewish proverb

I believe it. I believe it was Jewish people who helped me clarify the meaning of forgiveness. It certainly made life easier to handle.

[Lodestar]

Forty years ago I had a friend who was a therapist explain to me about forgiveness and the healing effect it has on people suffering from resentment.

It's a difficult concept to grasp at some stages of healing. At the time I thought she was crazy, that forgiving mean approving or, even worse, "losing the battle." I think people have to grown into a place where compassion and forgiveness are options.

In my understanding it's like being the velveteen rabbit - you have to have some of your fur rubbed off before you can understand the concepts. Maybe that's also a paradox - that we can't really offer empathy until we, ourselves, have been hurt.

Further, maybe you can't afford compassion for others until you are strong enough to know that giving it won't diminish you in any way.

[treemoni]

Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist

So it wasn't clear if these languages had just one word for "love", or made a distinction like in Greek.

In Hebrew words don't change meaning like they do in English. I'm not familiar with Greek so I can't comment on the language, but Hebrew words themselves are static; unchanging like God. You get meaning from the context surrounding the words.

Old Testament's "love your neighbors", on the other hand, was most likely phillia---with "neighbors" being a poetic or poorly translated term for "equals"---and better translated by the word "respect"; but then it doesn't sounds as poetic.

I'm inclined to think this was the case. I was reading John yesterday. 1 John 5:3-4 says to love God is to keep his commands. 1 John 3:18-19 says love shows itself in action. This is consistent with keeping the commands, because to keep the commands is to act in specific ways. The commands in the Bible were adapted from the 42 Laws of Ma'at (also known as the Negative Confessions or Declarations of Innocence). They are:

1. I have not done iniquity.
2. I have not committed robbery with violence.
3. I have not stolen.
4. I have done no murder; I have done no harm.
5. I have not defrauded offerings.
6. I have not diminished obligations.
7. I have not stolen from God.
8. I have not told lies.
9. I have not snatched away food.
10. I have not caused pain.
11. I have not committed fornication.
12. I have not caused shedding of tears.
13. I have not dealt deceitfully.
14. I have not transgressed.
15. I have not acted guilefully.
16. I have not laid waste to the ploughed land.
17. I have not been an eavesdropper.
18. I have not set my lips in motion against any man.
19. I have not been angry and wrathful except for a just cause.
20. I have not defiled the wife of any man.
21. I have not defiled the wife of any man. (repeated twice)
    
22. I have not polluted myself.
23. I have not caused terror.
24. I have not transgressed. (repeated twice, #14)
    
25. I have not burned with rage.
26. I have not stopped my ears against the words of Right and Truth.
27. I have not worked grief.
28. I have not acted with insolence.
    
29. I have not stirred up strife.
30. I have not judged hastily.
31. I have not been an eavesdropper.
32. I have not multiplied words exceedingly.
33. I have done neither harm nor ill.
34. I have not cursed the king.
35. I have never fouled the water.
36. I have not spoken scornfully.
37. I have never cursed God.
38. I have not stolen.
39. I have not defrauded offerings to God.
40. I have not plundered offerings to the blessed dead (the Ancestors).
41. I have not filched the food of the infant, neither have I sinned against the God of my native town.
42. I have not slaughtered with evil intent the cattle of God.

So really, if you follow these laws you are respecting your neighbor and God, which is "love" according to the Bible.

[arleigh]

Jesus provided something no other teacher could.
The Holy Spirit.
The Holy spirit provides God's will in those situations in life that impact others.
Acting without the Holy Spirit is out side Jesus Lordship, out side God's council.
When answering the need of others Jesus did not always do what they were expecting,He was providing what they needed from His perspective . Jesus said I do only those things the Father has told me. (paraphrased)
We are to act on the Fathers instruction and teaching ,not the rule of the world/religious opinion.
Some times the need is healing , sometimes the need is mercy/forgiveness / repentance ,and or physical healing internally or externally .
Only God knows the heart of a man and his capacity futures . No one's life is fixed but have many choices.
God knows all those potentials ,the ultimate decisions rest in the person the way they choose to go and whom they choose to serve.
Usually I am made aware of the need before i meet the person or situation ahead of me . A pray for guidance and direction before we meet and endeavor to only do or say exactly as I am instructed of God.
The result is not up to me. I don't need their approval, I need God's approval.
Matthew 7;21,22,23,

[MillennialUrbanist]

Originally Posted by treemoni

In Hebrew words don't change meaning like they do in English. I'm not familiar with Greek so I can't comment on the language, but Hebrew words themselves are static; unchanging like God. You get meaning from the context surrounding the words.

Ehhh, not necessarily. They can change.

When Hebrew was being revived, it ran into a problem: after serving strictly as a prayer language for 2000 years, it had no words for simple everyday objects, let alone modern technology. A number of solutions was co-opted. One of them was adopting Biblical terms for equivalent everyday objects.

For example, the word "kinor" [kee-NOR] referred to an ancient instrument resembling a lute; in modern Hebrew, it means "violin". Such a dualism in meaning makes for extensive poeticism in songs and literature. For instance, a famous Israeli song "Yerushalayim shel Zahav" (Golden Jerusalem) uses the word "kinor" in the chorus; it conflates the elegance of the modern violin with the timelessness of the Biblical kinor.

The same thing was done with the modern Hebrew word for "tie". It once referred to a cloth worn on the chests of Holy Temple priests.

[treemoni]

Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist

When Hebrew was being revived, it ran into a problem: after serving strictly as a prayer language for 2000 years, it had no words for simple everyday objects, let alone modern technology.

That's because it was the language God used to communicate with his people. The letters have numerical value for a reason. It was not ever strictly a "prayer" language.


ETA


The creator of The Matrix says everything in creation is made up of math. I am not saying she is an ultimate authority on anything, but that makes sense with my (limited) knowledge of Hebrew and the Bible. The Word (Bible) is essentially creation. If the letters that make up words in the Bible have assigned (fixed) numbers, then the words also combine to some numerical value that has meaning. She also said the Bible is a computer. The language of computers is numbers.

The problem with modern Hebrew is that it was co-opted by a people who do not understand.

[MillennialUrbanist]

Originally Posted by treemoni

The creator of The Matrix says everything in creation is made up of math. I am not saying she is an ultimate authority on anything, but that makes sense with my (limited) knowledge of Hebrew and the Bible. The Word (Bible) is essentially creation. If the letters that make up words in the Bible have assigned (fixed) numbers, then the words also combine to some numerical value that has meaning. She also said the Bible is a computer. The language of computers is numbers.

The problem with modern Hebrew is that it was co-opted by a people who do not understand.

Numerology is a big part of the Torah. In fact, the Kabbalah is all about looking for hidden messages in the Torah by analyzing numerical values of individual words. One Jewish custom is derived from it: giving monetary gifts and charity donations in multiples of 18. It's meant to wish the recipient a long, happy life. (If the recipient is a business entity, the wish goes to its employees and/or clients.) Why? Because the Hebrew word for "life" has a numeric value of 18, due to the letters it contains.

Funny that you mentioned the last part. Initially, Israel's official language was supposed to be Yiddish (it uses the Hebrew alphabet, but most words sound Germanic), since the first Zionists were from Eastern Europe. Also because Hebrew was considered too holy for everyday use. But later movements pushed for Hebrew and won out; after all, it was an everyday language in the past. Ironically, today in Israel, Yiddish is an endangered language; only the elderly and the Haredi speak it regularly.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

I think your assumption that others are faking compassion, or are offering it insincerely, is flawed.

I second this.

Compassion is second nature to me. I consider no one to be my enemy. I am hostile to no one. I have no rage. I express no anger, nor am I seething with unexpressed anger. I'm just...not angry.

What's funny is that I imagine, that some people might think this requires a lot of effort, to not be angry. In fact it's the opposite of that. I am far too lazy for anger. My experiences of anger have involved a lot of overthinking and dealing with difficult emotions, which often made me feel helpless. Because see, a man can go ball up his fists and roll up his sleeves and put on his white hat and take justice to his enemies. As a woman, what can I do? Nothing. So the last time I was truly angry, I felt utterly powerless in it. So now, like a balloon with a hole in it, I just cannot inflate a proper bluster and feel real anger anymore. All that energy and nowhere for it to go...nah. That's all uncomfortable and stuff. I'll pass on that.

I sometimes feel apathy, but it's a calm thing and I can always take time to be compassionate to another person. Being compassionate does not mean giving what you cannot afford to give. It doesn't mean starving yourself to feed others. Sometimes it just means validating someone who, in the eyes of other people, would be invisible. Sometimes it just means acknowledging another person's humanity, and that they struggle, too.

Of course I am not religious, so my concept of compassion is not a religion-based construct. I don't care one bit what religion dictates anyone think or do. It is of no interest to me. Though I do appreciate Buddhism from a philosophical standpoint, and I take an interest in some of the ideologies thereof, I don't interact with it as one would a religion. My faith and my philosophy are entirely separate matters.

So no, I am not looking at everyone and judging them friend or foe. Everyone is a human. A possible friend, if I have the time to make it happen. A who, not a what. Compassion is everything, and it's easy.