Losing all or most of one's possessions - how do people cope? (mom, generation)

[KittenSparkles]

As I watched the news about Hurricane Michael and all of the destruction, I found myself thinking about how would I cope if my home was obliterated, or nearly completely destroyed. Thankfully I have not personally lived through a major natural disaster (knock wood), but each time one happens, I find myself feeling unnerved by the thought of losing everything.

Probably, for me, the part of it that bothers me the most is - how would I be able to even remember all the items I had lost? Years ago my laptop crashed and I lost everything on it because I hadn't backed it up. I got a new one and had to start trying to remember all the stuff on there that had been lost.

Thankfully, I was just dealing with a laptop, and so I just lost pictures and documents. My entire life wasn't turned upside down, but it felt very strange to realize I couldn't remember all that I had stored on there.

Have you or someone you've known gone through something like this? How did you/they cope? How many of your current possessions do you think you'd be able to remember if your home went through a major storm, hurricane, flood, etc..?

[purehuman]

Originally Posted by KittenSparkles

Probably, for me, the part of it that bothers me the most is - how would I be able to even remember all the items I had lost?



Have you or someone you've known gone through something like this? How did you/they cope? How many of your current possessions do you think you'd be able to remember if your home went through a major storm, hurricane, flood, etc..?

I find it strange that what bothers you is that you might not be able to remember "all the items I have lost".
really???? if you can't remember them, then they must not be very memorable...certainly not worth pondering over.

Possessions can be replaced...my concerns would be more for shelter, warmth and food.
Why worry about what you can't remember...is that even possible???

[Back to NE]

In Buddhism, the loss of one's possessions equates with freedom.

And thankfully, younger generations are becoming less materialistic, more interested in experiences. Plus they probably have a lot of their best stuff on the Cloud.

I feel stress accumulating more possessions (especially of value). When I'm ready to move for retirement I will happily eliminate 80-90% of my stuff.

Arguably the more important factor for those whose homes have been destroyed is financial and the busy need to put their lives back together.

[jaminhealth]

The more I get rid of the more freedom I feel. Once I sold a loser of a condo the freedom was huge. I like comforts but hope I don't experience total loss but many in the world do.

Whether young people are less materialistic, I don't know about that one.

Good to live in an area that is less prone to disasters.

[Sassybluesy]

I have cousins who lost their house (and it was a beautiful home) to a fire.


For them, I think the biggest thing at first, was feeling shell shocked, but then they were glad that no one, not even their pets, were hurt or killed.


People and pets were in the house at the time of the fire.

[Serious Conversation]

I have scans of critical stuff on the cloud. Physical copies of these items are in a safe deposit box at my most frequently used credit union branch.

Copies of tax papers, titles, scans of personal things like BC, SS card, etc. I keep the originals in a lockbox in my condo. I'm 32. Dad and I are started scanning family photos and converting VHS family videos onto our computers at least ten years ago. Most of my important photos are in iCloud or Facebook. I still have some high school journals and such not scanned that are either here or at my parents' home.

I'd hate for my house to burn down, but the homeowner's insurance would cover the actual stuff. Some of the stuff is expensive, but it's not sentimental.

[.sparrow.]

It sucks. My mom (my best friend) died when I was 17, shortly thereafter I was forced to move out and I ended up losing about 95% of my belongings. So, yeah... basically a total catastrophe as if a tornado came into my life and sucked everything of value out of it. Very strange feeling. Like I was suddenly a completely different person with no roots, like just nothing to reflect back to me who I was, where I belonged in this world, where "home" was located. It wasn't a "freeing" feeling, at all. At least for me. As a teen trying to transition into an adult... to have this happen to you.... it made the "transition" extremely tumultuous because it was not a smooth transition, a gentle transition. It was a very violent one. Hope that makes sense.

(I know that my case is a little different because there was a death involved, not just losing belongings, but just wanted to share my point of view.)

[its_rosie]

First of all, I think it's great that you asked this question, because it shows you have compassion and empathy.

My apartment was broken into a few years ago, and they literally stole almost EVERYTHING.

You always hear people say how they felt "violated" after being burglarized. It's a weird word to use, but that's exactly what it feels like.

For me, the worst part was that they stole items that had sentimental value.

I held on to things that brought back good memories. It killed me to think that those items just got chucked into a dumpster somewhere because they couldn't be sold for cash. I felt like someone died, I cried so much.

You really don't realize what exactly is missing until days or even months later. You'll go to look for something and you can't find it anywhere, and you'll think, "Damn! That, too?!"

My laptop was stolen, and I was dumb enough to have a MS Word file on my desktop that said PASSWORDS. It wasn't password-protected (yes, I learned my lesson). It took me YEARS to secure all my accounts.

This is what shocked me the most about the situation:
After you get burglarized, if you misplace something, you second-guess yourself for a really long time.
You go crazy with, "When did I last see it? Was it pre- or post-burglary?"
So I found myself doing a lot of standing in one place, trying to retrace my steps to see if that would jog my memory, and classifying events into "before" or "after." You start to pay way more attention to where you put things after awhile.

I was very traumatized by the burglary.

I kept hearing noises at night and I was SURE it was someone in the bushes coming back to finish me off.
One time, I was in the laundry room and I could have sworn I saw a guy wearing all black running from the back of my apartment. I took off chasing him, but by the time I got to the end of the street, I realized there was nobody there. I still don't know if I actually saw a real person or if it was my imagination.

I didn't feel safe in that apartment anymore, so I moved.

Healing after losing everything, well, it's a slow process.
Journaling helped.
I can't get back the things that were stolen but I did write about how I felt about them. It's almost as good as having the actual items, really. That's what I try to tell myself.

[mainebrokerman]

we make judgements by comparison.....

I would feel blessed or thankful.....if family members,,,,pets,,, didnt die....they cant be replaced

in catastrophe's people do die.... and if neighbors.....or others died... my heart would go out to them...
and yes I would miss the irreplace-ables ….. but... a mind filled with rich memories.....can make a rich soul...


many a lonely old men/women have died with no one to come see or comfort them before death...but they had nice "things"




sometimes i have to remind myself how fortunate we all are..... most have never really been hungry...… and think back to the depression.....parents not even knowing if they can feed their kids or sleep at night...…
most are soooo fortunate we dont know the struggles of what our past relatives had to endure.. and this is not to minimize the hard times many of us...have been thru ...

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by its_rosie

First of all, I think it's great that you asked this question, because it shows you have compassion and empathy.
My apartment was broken into a few years ago, and they literally stole almost EVERYTHING.
You always hear people say how they felt "violated" after being burglarized. It's a weird word to use, but that's exactly what it feels like.

This is exactly what the op wanted to know. Your whole post was excellent....and oh my, what you went through. Big hug.