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Old 11-04-2018, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Østenfor sol og vestenfor måne
17,916 posts, read 24,361,392 times
Reputation: 39038

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I had a similar pathos for years in my early 20s.

The difference was that I believed a woman could be into me, but I had this deep-seated feeling that any woman who would be into me must have something wrong with her. Like there was something wrong with her for being able to overlook my flaws.

It is a really toxic way to think about yourself, and others.
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Old 11-04-2018, 10:35 AM
 
Location: planet earth
8,620 posts, read 5,654,555 times
Reputation: 19645
This post just made me think how passive some people are - just waiting for others to approach them - for others to "do" for them - takers, rather than givers.

OP: Why don't you start approaching life with a different attitude - see what you can "do" for others - approach others - volunteer, whatever. Don't wait for life to come to you. Get out there and do something.
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Old 11-04-2018, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Surfside Beach, SC
2,385 posts, read 3,672,563 times
Reputation: 4980
Quote:
Originally Posted by brownbagg View Post
i have notice in life, you got to be 6'5 have a big black truck, beach house, a big boat, a harley to attract the women, and then to keep them, be mean to them , cheat on them, and other

the nice short dude , finish last, no they dont even get in the race
That sounds absolutely ridiculous to me. No, a man does not have to be 6'5" tall, drive a big black truck, big boat or have a beach house or a Harley! None of my criteria for a man involves any of this at all.

I like men who are intelligent and have a great sense of humor and are nice looking and clean. My husband is one of the most intelligent and funny people I've ever known - he's also very handsome and has a good job and is a hard worker.

I would not put up with, for even one second, the behaviors you describe! Meanness and cheating? Absolutely not!

I can't even begin to imagine where you've come up with this idea.
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Old 11-04-2018, 01:51 PM
 
1,713 posts, read 1,107,743 times
Reputation: 3708
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
It's guys like you, who are probably behind the incidents discussed on another thread, where on OLD, when a woman messages a man, as some of our members have, and gets cryptic and rude responses, like "You don't think I'm falling for this, do you", or "Nice try!". The women are like, "WTF?!"

You're also the kind of guy, who has such low self-esteem with regard to the opposite sex, that women who are interested, are forced to go to extraordinary means to convince you that they're serious. They may enlist the help of one of your buddies as a sort of wingman, to convince you they're into you, after you decided their hang-out invitations were just friendly gestures, and in the end, may find themselves having to resort to clubbing you over the head and dragging you back to their place by the hair.
Ruth, you are confusing me with someone who participates in online dating, or any other kind. I leave that to people who want to play the game so I can keep life as simple as possible and get on with what I want to do.

I don't 'put myself out there' and I make it quite clear to friends that I will not take part in any setups, engineered meetings or any other sitcom plots brought to life. People who can't accept this and want to drag me into their rom-com world don't remain my friends for long.

I cannot imagine myself living any kind of partnered life, or ever willingly taking the steps to begin one. It's so far off the radar that I would treat anyone who approached me with such a thing in mind with caution if not outright suspicion. Error! Error! Does not compute!

At times, my friendly conversation has been misinterpreted as flirting. No, no, no and no.
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Old 11-04-2018, 03:12 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,212 posts, read 107,931,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbles76 View Post
Ruth, you are confusing me with someone who participates in online dating, or any other kind. I leave that to people who want to play the game so I can keep life as simple as possible and get on with what I want to do.

I don't 'put myself out there' and I make it quite clear to friends that I will not take part in any setups, engineered meetings or any other sitcom plots brought to life. People who can't accept this and want to drag me into their rom-com world don't remain my friends for long.

I cannot imagine myself living any kind of partnered life, or ever willingly taking the steps to begin one. It's so far off the radar that I would treat anyone who approached me with such a thing in mind with caution if not outright suspicion. Error! Error! Does not compute!

At times, my friendly conversation has been misinterpreted as flirting. No, no, no and no.
No, I'm sorry, Scribbles. I meant to quote the OP. I thought I checked that, to make sure I quoted the right post, but I see I goofed. Sorry. Not picking on you. . That was intended for the OP.
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Old 11-04-2018, 03:46 PM
 
1,713 posts, read 1,107,743 times
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No harm, no foul. Have a good day.
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Old 11-04-2018, 08:52 PM
 
5,455 posts, read 3,389,157 times
Reputation: 12177
It's not weird that you have low self-esteem but the fact that you are 27 and have never had a girlfriend is sorry. Worse would be if you never kissed a woman or went on a date.
Get out of your comfort zone and off the couch. Get involved with life. You don't have to go running off to a nightclub or the like. Just be available. Walk tall, shoulders back. You don't have to be buff or incredibly handsome just well groomed, and your clothes clean and pressed. Wear something new for a change. And SMILE.
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Old 11-04-2018, 09:39 PM
 
67 posts, read 34,117 times
Reputation: 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty61 View Post
It's not weird that you have low self-esteem but the fact that you are 27 and have never had a girlfriend is sorry. Worse would be if you never kissed a woman or went on a date.
Get out of your comfort zone and off the couch. Get involved with life. You don't have to go running off to a nightclub or the like. Just be available. Walk tall, shoulders back. You don't have to be buff or incredibly handsome just well groomed, and your clothes clean and pressed. Wear something new for a change. And SMILE.
He is also getting to an age where women will look down on him for never having a girlfriend.
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Old 11-04-2018, 09:40 PM
 
1,713 posts, read 1,107,743 times
Reputation: 3708
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty61 View Post
the fact that you are 27 and have never had a girlfriend is sorry. Worse would be if you never kissed a woman or went on a date.
Why? Where is it written that everyone must tick these things off some hypothetical checklist to succeed in life?

This issue is of sufficient concern to the OP for him to post a topic about it. Shaming won't encourage him to address or change the situation if he so wishes.
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Old 11-04-2018, 10:06 PM
 
Location: Oak Bowery
2,873 posts, read 2,062,291 times
Reputation: 9164
Every pot has a lid.
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