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Hide any assets you can. I saw a real interesting show on this. A guy was a very good painter, but not famous. But he owned a Norman Rockwell original, and some other valuable paintings. Somewhere along the way the wife divorced him. When he died, they found out the Rockwell painting they had on display in the Rockwell museum was a fake, a copy of the original. But the family knew their dad did own and treasure the original Rockwell painting. After checking his house, the found the original behind a false wall, probably to keep his exwife from getting them.
If it'll may you both happy, then go for it. No need for either of you to stay with one another of miserable. However if it could be worked out, that's something to consider as children are involved. The grass ain't always greener on the other side.
Put your assets where she cannot get them. Save all the communication between her and her friends, file for divorce and custody of the child. No joint custody. do not introduce and woman to your child until you are ready to marry them. Getting children mixed up with you friends who come and go is destabilizing relationships.
Your needs suggest to me that if your ever get prostate cancer, do not have any treatment.
If it'll may you both happy, then go for it. No need for either of you to stay with one another of miserable. However if it could be worked out, that's something to consider as children are involved. The grass ain't always greener on the other side.
This would be good advice, especially since the OP IS concerned about the child, IF his wife weren't so out-of-control about the whole thing. How is the OP supposed to perpetuate a blatantly fake marriage, with her running all over the place with people, not even trying to maintain a pretense at home, and only using him coldly, for some semblance of stability? How can you ask that of someone? It's heart-breaking enough as is. I can't imagine the OP going through another year or two of this. It wouldn't be mentally healthy for him to do so, IMO.
be careful.....you might be the guy in the picture frame ... in an episode of "snapped"
dont try to understand ...or ask why,... she is appeasing you just enough ….for something could be money..
get the hell away and out as fast as you can....when estrogen goes bad like that... it is spoiled..... throw it out..
and dont be afraid of being "alone" you are already there..
time to steer your own ship and not wallow in her currents..
ive been there....waited too long...kept asking why...
again...once the estrogen spoils.... like that and she's treating you like toilet paper..... get the hell out..
and get her name off everything..... I went to pay a phone bill.....and it was 1600 she added 4 phones on my policy ...and I didnt even know....because she was "authorized" so beware...
one more bit of free advice... and read this 5 times..
no matter how she is screaming at you.....how many lies she is throwing at you even if she physically pushes you.... be very very very careful......she may be setting you up to record you on an I phone..... or if you grab her by the arms...(even tho she is swinging at you) she could just take a pic of any marks.....do not touch her or raise your voice... the police will come and haul you away in cuffs.....
the last whack job I was with tried doing this to me....she was cheating...stealing doing drugs (got in the wrong crowd at work) …. and here im thinking tomorrow is gonna be a better day...lol..
see things for what they are …
Last edited by mainebrokerman; 11-24-2018 at 04:01 AM..
Oh H no. Once a cheat always a cheat. I wouldn't take her back. Why put yourself through all that misery knowing that you'll never fully trust her again?
It's rare, but some people actually learn to stop. Or meet somebody worth their whole self...
So sorry to hear this. Hang in there, this is SOOO tough! You didn't deserve this.
The only possible way I see this working out.... is if you both do a marriage encounter weekend.
Or get involved in a good bible based church submitting to the headship of the church. Get involved in bible studies and church.
A male led church which is not a cult (google cult and the denomination, the world is good at identifying cults, surprisingly)
We attended a Nazarene church which had wonderful support groups. I met a few couples whose marriage was saved due to the church
Their values are now shared, bible based values.
It's been a decade or two and the 3 couples we know are still together.
More grown up now so these issues likely aren't a risk much longer
Most grow out of it.
Sounds like she has an addiction she needs to work on. Something the males of any church shouldn't be privy to. Also sounds like you have a bit of a sex addiction yourself though you don't seem to be acting upon it.
It sounds as if it has nothing to do with you. Yes, totally odd but I need to be as truthful from what you've described, as I can.
Sure she can respect you if you take her back. but without the skills or somehow to understand the issues, it will re-peat itself I am afraid. No one can say for sure, so don't believe it. But why take the risk.
And no matter what the result is, watch her. She is to be monitored if you are to be together. She must agree. She has issues like an alcoholic needs to be monitored not to drink. Do not trust her. Love her unconditionally as the bible instructs, you are being obedient to God by doing such. It isn't dependent upon her behavior. It's not about her. This will give you time to see if it's worth it or not. And endure blessings for doing so, yes you deserve those blessings. We had a rough patch similar to this. 20 years later, it wouldn't even occur to me it can repeat itself. We are so different now.
Obviously you need to remove the computer from her. She cannot use it unless you are there with her (or remove it from your home, ideally). There is no reason to bring temptation into your home. You have a child together so that is the reason I am not saying to leave, as of yet. Your motto should eventually be, TRUST but VERIFY. Right now, you cannot even trust what she says. She is a liar. So just don't ask. You really don't need to know. All you need to know is she MUST stop. Don't believe what she says, she is very sick
She is your wife, she must either be your wife or move on. Oh and get tested for STD's. Don't listen to her, you are not Safe from STD's.
Read the bible. Listen to online sermons from youtube about what you should do. Trust God, he can turn this around. He knows how she is wired, he is the one who created her.
Here is the marriage encounter weekend website.
A great organization known for handling tough situations as this very delicately but lovingly. https://agme.org/locations/
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How. The. kcuF. Do you have any reps talking that bullspit?
She would lie and put on an act for the counselor. It's hopeless. OP needs legal counsel, so he can begin gathering evidence, and protecting his assets.
Evidence of what? It's not illegal to be unfaithful. A judge would find it comical though to have someone show up with evidence of infidelity .
A man rarely can protect his assets..the female does the ole...look at all I sacrificed so you could pay for the house,utilities,taxes, my dental,my health insurance, my clothing..not to mention I raised YOUR kids. I suffered from having to have a paid car ,paid car insurance....ohh judge woe is me! And the judge gives her your truck..your dog ,your house and let's you visit the child so long as you fork over alimony and child support. Which leaves you with a park bench and maybe a monthly bus ticket.
But sure...fight for that park bench..she might ask for that too!
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