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I don't want to burn bridges in order to live according to my values. Therefore, I do believe that burning bridges is a form of "foreclosure" for me in personal growth. Instead of burning bridges, I want people to respect my rules. But I wouldn't burn bridges because somebody didn't live up to my expectations, which is a bit different from rules. Rules require communication so that is what I work on communicating.
It was very telling to me that OP said, "I have forsaken "regular" life situations that would have provided for security in exchange for living in my truth."
First, who was paying your bills while you focused on living in your truth? You obviously had enough financial resources to go to graduate school and obtain 2 PhDs. Not many people can afford to do that.
Second, focusing on one's own personal growth is and will always be a self-centered focus. I don't hear you talking about your family, spouse, significant other, friends...Do you have any close relationships? One cannot simply focus on me, me, me and be a very happy person. Self fulfillment is not the meaning of life, IMO. I have a faith-based value system and it doesn't focus on ME.
He was relatively "normal" through high school. During college, he experimented with drugs, and also developed problems with his mental health. It's hard to know if one precipitated the other, or determine a causal relationship between the two.
Over the years, he kind of withdrew and got mentally and socially stunted at about 18-20. As the rest of our group of friends progressed into relationships, careers, and other interests in life, he remained frozen. Ultimately, he killed himself at age 27 back in 2013.
The definition given there is almost the opposite of what you said in your post. That article says identity foreclosure refers to someone who has traded their own personal values and beliefs in order to pursue the goals that society deems acceptable. That's not a person who sits around and watches TV, that's a person who would like to sit down and watch TV but doesn't because society says they're lazy if they do and they should be out jogging or taking a class.
He was relatively "normal" through high school. During college, he experimented with drugs, and also developed problems with his mental health. It's hard to know if one precipitated the other, or determine a causal relationship between the two.
Over the years, he kind of withdrew and got mentally and socially stunted at about 18-20. As the rest of our group of friends progressed into relationships, careers, and other interests in life, he remained frozen. Ultimately, he killed himself at age 27 back in 2013.
This sounds like a case of Clinical Depression, which can be borne from inheritance, chemical imbalances in the body/brain, , etc. or a combination of one or more element. That would, of course, differ from a person without depression voluntarily of otherwise by "choice" performing an "early foreclosure".
"Choice" not really being an option with Clinical Depression.
I posted to discuss a particular theory that was introduced to me. I provided a brief description and a link.
In a Psychology forum, I would expect people who participate to either be familiar with the field of psychology and the different theories that are taught, OR be interested in the theories.
In attacking me personally (for any reason) and not focusing on the theory presented (or arguing with the theory itself), there is no acknowledgment of this theory at all, which I am interpreting as: "I don't like this theory. I don't believe in this theory. This theory upsets me. This theory makes me want to attack you for presenting it." Lol.
Anyway, I learn from this experience, so it's all good.
This sounds like a case of Clinical Depression, which can be borne from inheritance, chemical imbalances in the body/brain, , etc. or a combination of one or more element. That would, of course, differ from a person without depression voluntarily of otherwise by "choice" performing an "early foreclosure".
"Choice" not really being an option with Clinical Depression.
I can't resist: There is no such thing as "chemical imbalances in the brain." That was a marketing sound bite that the drug industry used to sell drugs to doctors/patients.
It was very telling to me that OP said, "I have forsaken "regular" life situations that would have provided for security in exchange for living in my truth."
First, who was paying your bills while you focused on living in your truth? You obviously had enough financial resources to go to graduate school and obtain 2 PhDs. Not many people can afford to do that.
Second, focusing on one's own personal growth is and will always be a self-centered focus. I don't hear you talking about your family, spouse, significant other, friends...Do you have any close relationships? One cannot simply focus on me, me, me and be a very happy person. Self fulfillment is not the meaning of life, IMO. I have a faith-based value system and it doesn't focus on ME.
+1. Amen.
Although the second I hear "I'm living my truth." My eyes roll sooooo far in the back of my head.
Here's my truth- the world doesn't revolve around me, my "happiness" and all that "self fulfillment" garbage is exactly that, garbage- real life stuff & my family are priority.
I posted to discuss a particular theory that was introduced to me. I provided a brief description and a link.
In a Psychology forum, I would expect people who participate to either be familiar with the field of psychology and the different theories that are taught, OR be interested in the theories.
In attacking me personally (for any reason) and not focusing on the theory presented (or arguing with the theory itself), there is no acknowledgment of this theory at all, which I am interpreting as: "I don't like this theory. I don't believe in this theory. This theory upsets me. This theory makes me want to attack you for presenting it." Lol.
Anyway, I learn from this experience, so it's all good.
I suspect the "attacks" you felt in the responses to your OP were reactions to the manner in which you introduced the theory for discussion. You didn't really present it; you demonstrated how you use one facet of it to pigeonhole others in comparison to yourself. You probably would have gotten more of a theoretical discussion if you had left the personal examples out of it entirely. What about summarizing the THEORY for those who might not read the entire contents of the link and refraining from adding in those judgments about others? I agree with ocnjgirl who commented that you misstated the theory's definition of foreclosure or re-stated it to suit your conclusions about other people you've left behind during your life. Foreclosure was supposedly a result of suppression by others, by society, not foreclosure due to some personal laziness or innate flaw of character.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-21-2018 at 01:59 PM..
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