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I know so many seem to suffer during this short time of our lives and I knew when I got so sick and tired of the crazy and commercialism of it all, when I took my daughter who was 18 and took a vacation to Honolulu, we took off on Christmas morning and escaped to a beautiful warm sunny beach and away from the wild stuff of buying this and that and making nice for everyone....grrrr
I was in my mid 40's and scaled down more and more after that fateful trip and Christmas.
I enjoyed many many holidays in my younger years and wouldn't give up those memories, but now I could almost sleep thru it all. Here today, gone to Maui.
It's interesting my daughter who is now in her 50's takes her grown children on far away vacations now for the last couple yrs for the holidays. She's even getting sick and tired of the nutty stuff. They are beach people and go to islands. This year she says she and her son are going to Sydney to escort her daughter back from the 6 month course studies at Univ of Sydney.
I can relate. I enjoyed the holidays when my son was little. The gifts, the tree, the stockings, the surprises. It was fun. But we're not religious, and even if we were, we know Christ wasn't born in December, anyway; it's a co-opted pagan holiday.
But once he grew up and moved out on his own, it became just another day for me. I hate how the stores have Christmas stuff up even before Halloween, I hate the crowds, I hate the scenes on the news of people trampling each other when the WalMart doors open so they can get the best deal on stuff they likely don't even really need...I can do without it, and I do.
So many people feel they "have" to have a holiday with all the craziness it entails. I don't know why. My mom was like that. Complain and complain about having to work so hard and cook the holiday meal. My dad complained and complained about having to get the tree and set it up. Even as a child, I wondered why they did these things they obviously hated doing.
Today, the only thing that drives me crazy about Thanksgiving and Christmas is the &*^% Christmas music in the stores. Otherwise the little shopping I do I get taken care of early and online. I buy groceries for the month, so I'll be at the stores in early December, but won't have to go out again until January.
I got tired of people feeling sorry for me and inviting me over and getting me involved in their big holiday dramas. So now I just stay at home by myself and on the holiday I lounge around all day in my PJs snacking on the dinner I get for myself once or twice a year - a large Round Table pizza (too expensive to be an every month treat) or fish from Long John Silver's (too far away to get all the time).
When my brother would come up and visit, I'd get a Christmas tree and because our working schedules were similar, I'd wait and get the tree on the 22nd of December and leave it up all January. I never felt I was rushing the season then and I had a nice Christmasy feeling all of January when everyone else was walking around all bummed out for whatever reason (course, maybe I did that in February, but that's a short month).
Sometimes if you don't have to buy anything or wait in line, it's just fun to go to the mall and walk around and look at the stores. People are selling cider and ringing bells and if you don't have to participate in all the madness, it feels good to share in it. Or at least, watch everyone else drive themselves crazy trying to buy at the last minute.
I think the biggest thing about today's holidays is we're all more or less forced to participate, whether we want to or not. If it's not your faith, or the neighbors, or your workplace piling on the pressure, it's wanting to do something for the kids and grandkids. But I think sometimes you just have to pull the plug and say enough.
It's like I say to people when they ask what I'm doing for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. I tell them I'm on the five year plan where Christmas is only celebrated once every five years, and this ain't the fifth year.
I can relate. I enjoyed the holidays when my son was little. The gifts, the tree, the stockings, the surprises. It was fun. But we're not religious, and even if we were, we know Christ wasn't born in December, anyway; it's a co-opted pagan holiday.
But once he grew up and moved out on his own, it became just another day for me. I hate how the stores have Christmas stuff up even before Halloween, I hate the crowds, I hate the scenes on the news of people trampling each other when the WalMart doors open so they can get the best deal on stuff they likely don't even really need...I can do without it, and I do.
I know when I think of the trips I made back East to visit family, fighting airports, crowds, going to my parents' home that had it's heat raging and I had to try to get moisture in the air...but I did it as they were across the country and it was the thing to do.
So many are going and I hear the airports are worse than ever, crowded planes, germs, nope, not for this gal. It's all worse now since the 9/11 times. And more population. Just hearing how this holiday travel is the most in all times, airports are nuts....glad I'm old. And all out of my system.
So many people feel they "have" to have a holiday with all the craziness it entails. I don't know why. My mom was like that. Complain and complain about having to work so hard and cook the holiday meal. My dad complained and complained about having to get the tree and set it up. Even as a child, I wondered why they did these things they obviously hated doing.
Today, the only thing that drives me crazy about Thanksgiving and Christmas is the &*^% Christmas music in the stores. Otherwise the little shopping I do I get taken care of early and online. I buy groceries for the month, so I'll be at the stores in early December, but won't have to go out again until January.
I got tired of people feeling sorry for me and inviting me over and getting me involved in their big holiday dramas. So now I just stay at home by myself and on the holiday I lounge around all day in my PJs snacking on the dinner I get for myself once or twice a year - a large Round Table pizza (too expensive to be an every month treat) or fish from Long John Silver's (too far away to get all the time).
When my brother would come up and visit, I'd get a Christmas tree and because our working schedules were similar, I'd wait and get the tree on the 22nd of December and leave it up all January. I never felt I was rushing the season then and I had a nice Christmasy feeling all of January when everyone else was walking around all bummed out for whatever reason (course, maybe I did that in February, but that's a short month).
Sometimes if you don't have to buy anything or wait in line, it's just fun to go to the mall and walk around and look at the stores. People are selling cider and ringing bells and if you don't have to participate in all the madness, it feels good to share in it. Or at least, watch everyone else drive themselves crazy trying to buy at the last minute.
I think the biggest thing about today's holidays is we're all more or less forced to participate, whether we want to or not. If it's not your faith, or the neighbors, or your workplace piling on the pressure, it's wanting to do something for the kids and grandkids. But I think sometimes you just have to pull the plug and say enough.
It's like I say to people when they ask what I'm doing for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. I tell them I'm on the five year plan where Christmas is only celebrated once every five years, and this ain't the fifth year.
Your first paragraph reminded me of when my mom in her old years would drag that tinsel tree and blue bulbs out of the basement and almost kill herself putting it in the living room. Dad could have cared less I'm sure. No tree in this apt for the last 20+ yrs.....
My neighbor still drags a big pine into her living room and then we have pine needles all over the path where she drags the tree...a beautiful tree dying.
One day and what we have gone thru and so many do.
And if you are religious then it's all wrong anyway about the birth of that saviour.
We still decorate for our younger grandchildren. I would not do as much if it were not for them.
When they get older, assuming I am still around, I think I will cut back. But I think I would always want some small bit of Christmas in my place.
When we were flying to Portland during earlier years, I only put one small artificial tree on my coffee table for Christmas. That's it. When we flew back I only had one thing to put away. It was not worth it to me to have a tree set up in my living room. And we had celebrated Christmas in another place anyway.
I have to admit that I do enjoy Christmas lights in our subdivision.
I think if you live long enough, you go through phases. I was lucky, as a child, to have had wonderful holiday experiences and memories. And I hope I was able to make some for my children.
There have been stressful family circumstances in later years which made it all too much. I took matters into my own hands and did what I needed to do.
I think if you live long enough, you go through phases. I was lucky, as a child, to have had wonderful holiday experiences and memories. And I hope I was able to make some for my children.
There have been stressful family circumstances in later years which made it all too much. I took matters into my own hands and did what I needed to do.
Thankfully I no longer get irate at the holiday frenzy. It just passes by. I don't feel the need to ridicule or condemn anyone for getting lost in the silliness; commercial, self-imposed, guilt-driven, greed driven whatever the reason is. Probably much of that is because no one directs what I do or don't do. There is no unfinished business between me and friends or relatives. We're OK. Thank goodness I'm no Scrooge, no curmudgeon, sourpuss, no overachiever, or someone who bends over backwards to impress or outdo anyone else. I don't feel jaded or manipulated by the commercial aspect of it either. It just doesn't matter. If I have to deal with a stressed-out burned out shop employee I really like treating them with a bit of friendliness, telling them I'm in no hurry and don't need special handling. Don't worry, we'll both get through it.
If I buy a gift for someone it's with a sincere wish that they get some enjoyment out of it. I love surprising them and choose small gifts carefully. If I want to go see some sort of public pageant or holiday show I do, and enjoy for what it is. If I don't feel like it I don't. If I want to decorate the house I do. If I'm not in the mood I don't, and don't waste any energy try to defend myself. If someone wishes me a Merry Christmas I say it in return and mean it. If my office holds some sort of event I'll participate as far as enjoyment goes, no farther. Sometimes I like just sitting someplace and watching other people running around busily preparing. Take them at face value but don't waste much energy wondering very much about them. Maybe all this is nothing more than becoming more and more dispassionate, benignly detached. At least it's honest, not judgmental. All this ripple on the water eventually stops. Always has, always will.
Sorry! My feet are planted firmly on the ground as I explore all life has to offer. This includes traditional and non traditional moments.
I couldn't be interested in the commercial side if you paid me....the holidays carry what I and my family make of them. It's what time we share..priceless.
No stress..nor any grumbles. Guess that's what happens when integrating and balancing works.
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