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I've noticed that as I get older, my tolerances for a lot of things have decreased. There are some obvious physiological ones, like drinking alcohol or how long it takes to get back into shape. But there are also a lot of states or conditions that I've grown less tolerant of mentally and emotionally.
For instance, I used to love the city. I still like aspects of it, but where I live, it's starting to become crowded with populations of all varieties, which is good and bad. But one that sticks out the most is the indigent and homeless populations. There are homeless encampments about every 1/2 mile it seems. While I generally don't mind them, the blight is disturbing and they tend to want to get into your personal business if you so much as make eye contact with them. Two summers ago, one of these indigents stole our moped out of our driveway (that was locked up; they destroyed our fence in the process) and drove it half way across country. That was a huge turning point for me with how I felt about the growing homeless population.
Other things that I have grown less tolerant of include large crowds, loud music, extreme weather conditions (too hot or too cold), and generally any perceived inconvenience or annoyance. I suppose you could say that I've grown less patient with some things as well.
Obviously it seems like I am nearing just about every stereotype that exists about older people. So this must be a thing, right?
I wonder what is going on psychologically that is prompting these sorts of changes in mood and beliefs.
",,,perceived inconveniences and annoyances"? That sounds like there might be some depression at play. Have you been through a lot of stressful situations, or did you go through a "when it rains, it pours" period, when everything seemed to be going wrong, and your coping ability got nearly overwhelmed? Sometimes our stress reserves can get depleted.
If that's not the case, then I can only suggest, that the decline in resilience and tolerance could be the result of hormonal decline, what often gets shrugged off as "the aging process". You could see an endocrinologist about that. I don't know how old you are or whether you're male or female, but male hormone replacement, a touch of "T", can do wonders to improve mood and buoyancy.
And btw, finding yourself living in a neighborhood undergoing decline, as the homeless invasion might be categorized, is no small matter. It can be stressful on a daily basis. It can be stressful and depressing, because there's nothing you can do to change it; you're helpless. That's not a good position to be in. If you have the energy (which it sounds like you don't), you could become an activist, organize some neighbors, start a movement to lobby City Hall to work on solutions, like finding hotels/motels to house the currently unhoused, as has been done in some towns. Otherwise, I'm a little reluctant to suggest this, because I'm sure there are a lot of memories attached to the place where you're living, but would you consider moving, perhaps to a condo or townhome, or to a 50+ community?
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 07-05-2022 at 11:10 AM..
",,,perceived inconveniences and annoyances"? That sounds like there might be some depression at play. Have you been through a lot of stressful situations, or did you go through a "when it rains, it pours" period, when everything seemed to be going wrong, and your coping ability got nearly overwhelmed? Sometimes our stress reserves can get depleted.
If that's not the case, then I can only suggest, that the decline in resilience and tolerance could be the result of hormonal decline, what often gets shrugged off as "the aging process". You could see an endocrinologist about that. I don't know how old you are or whether you're male or female, but male hormone replacement, a touch of "T", can do wonders to improve mood and buoyancy.
Lol, let's pump the breaks. You're performing a lot of armchair psychology from a few minor pieces of information that are provided.
But yeah, I guess you could say that I was a little "depressed" when someone cut through my fence and stole our moped. Does that make me a "depressed" person in general? I don't think so.
The more you feel like "I'm set in my ways," the more variation from that mode feels disruptive. While it is not a "fix," for me it helps to focus more on what I can put into the world that will make a positive difference than changes to existing expectations that are negative.
Last edited by lpc123; 07-05-2022 at 11:15 AM..
Reason: grammar
",,,perceived inconveniences and annoyances"? That sounds like there might be some depression at play. Have you been through a lot of stressful situations, or did you go through a "when it rains, it pours" period, when everything seemed to be going wrong, and your coping ability got nearly overwhelmed? Sometimes our stress reserves can get depleted.
If that's not the case, then I can only suggest, that the decline in resilience and tolerance could be the result of hormonal decline, what often gets shrugged off as "the aging process". You could see an endocrinologist about that. I don't know how old you are or whether you're male or female, but male hormone replacement, a touch of "T", can do wonders to improve mood and buoyancy.
And btw, finding yourself living in a neighborhood undergoing decline, as the homeless invasion might be categorized, is no small matter. It can be stressful on a daily basis. It can be stressful and depressing, because there's nothing you can do to change it; you're helpless. That's not a good position to be in. If you have the energy (which it sounds like you don't), you could become an activist, organize some neighbors, start a movement to lobby City Hall to work on solutions, like finding hotels/motels to house the currently unhoused, as has been done in some towns. Otherwise, I'm a little reluctant to suggest this, because I'm sure there are a lot of memories attached to the place where you're living, but would you consider moving, perhaps to a condo or townhome, or to a 50+ community?
Hard pass on all your suggestions. Again, making lots and lots of wild assumptions. 50+ community? Where did I say that I was 50+? Lack of resilience? Over what, theft and property damage?
I live in the same area you claim to live in, so you should be well aware of the growing homeless population. It's not confined to one specific area. In fact, it's quite pervasive across the entire Front Range and Denver Metro area. Some of the nicest neighborhoods surrounding downtown have homeless tents propped up on sidewalks and alleyways and doorways.
I think that when you are younger, you are likely to be part of the crowd/noise and so you will tolerate it because it will be people you know at least a little. When my neighbors moved in with their young boys I made sure to meet them and greet them any chance I got to avoid being too annoyed with them. As the boys became more comfortable in our neighborhood, they have become louder especially now that they are making more friends. We have been able to talk to them a few times including their friends and they have learned to be more aware of how their behavior impacts others.
Unfortunately, this thread quickly devolved into a mess of bickering. It could have been an interesting discussion. I've cleaned up the thread, deleting several posts, and have closed it at OP's request.
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