Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've found, from my own experience, that if I say what's on my mind, even if I end up embarrassing myself, its better to say it rather than to keep it bottled up. If you've got something you want to express keeping it bottled up isn't healthy. And besides, you sometimes have to express yourself if you want to grow and improve. Sometimes it might be embarrassing to express your point of view but its better to be embarrassed and say what you got to say, in my opinion, than to not say what you've got to say.
Part of it's cultural conditioning (upbringing in settings where in a lot of contexts, presenting alternate viewpoints could be considered rude or argumentative). As a kid, I kept journals a lot to voice things I simply didn't choose to voice in life. Over the years, I got more confident about my ability to articulate differing views on things, and do so in a way that others can most easily receive. For me, writing was my first outlet, and then that gradually morphed into how I verbally interact.
Well if Im going to embarrass myself its best to do it on internet forums such as this. After all, other people here can't see me and they don't know me so I shouldn't let their reactions affect me.
I'm a reserved introvert so I don't always say but I'm also very honest so in many cases I'm not afraid to say what's on my mind and do often say so online because like you say online is anonymity.
But even then it's sometimes a no win situation. It's not that I care what people think (at least not in the I'm so sensitive please spare my feelings way). It's just fear of someone finding out who I am and feeling all exposed if that makes sense. I don't like being the center of attention. Not to mention my views can be so unusual that they're mostly met with judgement. Again it's not that I'm offended it just gets old. I'm probably opening up because I want to get useful advice and to do that when I mostly get judgement (I do get some people who understand but even they don't know how to help) it gets old to the point why am I even wasting my breath? I might share if I'm aching to but keep it really vague. That's still bottling up but people are so annoyingly predictable I just can't deal with it.
I don't generally volunteer my opinions on a lot of stuff (in person) but my thinking is, don't ask if you don't want to know. I am very honest and if you ask me you loose the right to get mad at me for what I've said.
I've meet people who think being "brutally honest" is some kind of badge of honor. That they are going to tell you their opinion no matter the fallout or damage done.
Personally I don't care to live that way. Knowing what tact is can be a very important social skill. It's okay to think lots of things in your head. Choosing what needs to be said when, and how, makes the difference between a gentleman and a jerk.
I don't know how keeping some things bottled up is unhealthy. I doubt I'll lose my mind or develop a disease from not saying some things to some real annoying people.
I tend to be more direct, but there are people who say what’s on their minds to the point of it being unfiltered word vomit. For example, I will have one friend who turns even the most inane conversations into obnoxious political conversations with insulting jabs. There is no need for that whatsoever. It doesn’t add to the conversation in any way. If that is what is on your mind, then by all means, keep it bottled up.
I've meet people who think being "brutally honest" is some kind of badge of honor. That they are going to tell you their opinion no matter the fallout or damage done.
Sometimes you've got to be honest and if being honest means not being polite so be it.
Sometimes you've got to be honest and if being honest means not being polite so be it.
You don't have to say every thought that comes into your head. I've found that a lot of people who claim they are just "being honest" are using that as an excuse to be a jerk and say mean things.
Sometimes getting things off your chest and being honest is fine. Sometimes it's just an excuse to make yourself feel better at another's expense.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
and then there are ways to share an opinion without being a jerk.
