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/Following, in case a professional provides a rational answer or other input that ads to the net wisdom of the thread, as I see at least one person already has. Per OP, this time it's a guy with the disorder (allegedly), I see. Thought this was mostly a female problem, but I'm no professional.
My first Borderline GF was 2003, on and off again (wow: see that pattern?) to 2005, then at last to 2010. Hi(lo)lights:
- Married four times, first to a convicted rapist and father of her two children, and last three to playas/scumbags. Last one (or two) used to run a train on her w/his scummy friends...the closer you looked, the more bizarre it was.
- Did time, County-level, for various automotive and drug-related infractions plus fraud and theft, I'm pretty sure. More than about 180 days I think you're sent to State prison...I don't believe she got that far.
- Operated under various aliases. I never quite knew her real last names, to this day. Came out when she 'registered to vote' for some crazed Socialist BS. She lied like no one I've seen before or since.
- Functional illiterate. Continually claimed, "I'm so smart, that...(fill in blank)." I finally started asking, "But who else thinks so?" That never ended well.
- Flunked out of real estate, legal aid, various other training programs due to previous. Could not be admitted to even fraud for-profit colleges due to abysmal/non-existent math or other skills.
- Bulimic, rail thin, teeth demolished due-to.
- Hyper sexual. I must say, she had skills that are rare indeed, a somewhat-bright spot to it all (for me) but also closely tied to her downfall, see previous.
I could go on for 1,000 more words, it's simply increasingly lurid from there however. Let's just say when she was "up," there was no one more-fun to be with. When "down" or on some sort of vendetta, well: Hell Hath no Fury for a Woman Scorned. Is that BPD, or Manic-Depressive? God only knows, or her doctor(s), not one of which I ever found or talked to, unf.
When she "blew a gasket" over something that was entirely stupid/of her own making, on either Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve 2009, and I had to just hold her sobbing for an hour as I contemplated taking her to the ER, I knew for a fact I was in way over my head. No amount of pity or compassion on my part could solve it, much less rational discourse. I am not an outwardly emotional man, seen as a rock or insensitive by most (and rightly so), but was not enough of an emotional anchor for her rocky journey at-sea in life.
I had to let her go. She was a vagrant on the streets of Olympia in 2011, after defrauding every last penny from friends and relatives, which no longer included me. After that, I don't know, but she publishes a blog I visit sometimes so she's alive somewhere.
SECOND was this past summer and I watched it develop, over a month. I couldn't manage her either, it was a cascade of (again) BS problems caused by dumb behavior, doing drugs, hanging around with scum, etc. I mistook the hyper sexuality for a woman who just enjoys sex; those do exist who are reasonably well-adjusted. Nope: just another lever on the crazy train. I let her go, slowly but surely, over a week or so. She went quietly. I don't know what will become of her, she'd just been fired from her job due to (see second sentence, this paragraph).
These people need serious therapy, meds, and whatever the very latest in treatment therapy can provide. They are scary, self-destructive, and leave an impressively large trail of wreckage behind them. Which wouldn't bother me all that much, since we choose who to associate with and can choose to walk away (except for family), other than when children are involved. At that point, it usually cascades to "tragic" sooner or later.
Actually, you are not in a terrible situation. Your so called friend is a mess, and you are not tied to him. Disengage. You do not owe him any more of your energy. Face it—you cannot fix him, because he is not interested in being fixed.
You have to ask yourself why you are so hard up for friends that you would want to socialize with someone who is going to hurt you, either emotionally, financially, or physically, going forward.
I recently disengaged with a friend I've been close to on-and-off since childhood. He's made a mess of his life through alcohol dependence and other bad choices, exacerbating underlying mental illnesses, until he has become completely self-destructive. Because of such a long shared history, despite many previous bumps in the relationship road, I wanted to help him, but when he ended up turning on me recently (lies and deceit), I cut the strings connecting us, I no longer have anything to do with him, and although I do have a few pangs of regret, they are compensated for by feelings of relief that I will no longer be affected by his self-defeating behavior. You can only do so much for people, and I refuse to let someone bring me down to their level - going forward, he's on his own.
You need to come to the same realization, you need friends who can help you move forward, not drag you back into the swamp.
she had 50 shades of cybil … and when angry ...wow.. right to full on psycho
overall she had a caring heart....empathetic with the rest of the world yet ….with me the person who treated her the best.... I thought id be on an episode of "snapped"
completely cold, distant and prone to accelerated anger..
I walked on eggshells trying to avoid anything that would trigger her getting angry.....not a way to live..
id advise anyone to have very little tolerance with this ..and get away
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