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It's called the silent treatment for a reason, and it is different from just not wanting to talk about a subject.
As has been said, it's a passive-aggressive way to manipulate someone you supposedly love. You intentionally don't talk to them so they KNOW you're mad without you having to say you're mad.
a person can let the other person know that it may be a good time to go somewhere undistracting to reflect on the issue, and get back to them when they are ready for a constructive, balanced dialogue. that's maturity and responsible follow-through for the sake of a continued relationship, if that's the goal.
IMHO this isn't the same thing. When I think of the silent treatment I imagine someone who refuses to acknowledge another person in any way regardless of what, where, or when. They are basically sulking in silence, not attempting to resolve anything. It is childish, self-indulgent, and useless.
What you described is deferring a discussion until emotions have cooled off or there's a better time for it.
Is the silent treatment a common psychological mechanism which occurs when one is angry at a significant other or when one utilizes the silent treatment with a significant other to try to get one's way using it as a tool of manipulation?
Only by manipulative, and passive-aggressive people. And some children.
Screaming at someone because you don't get your way is. Yelling or a constant argue is only a level below that. Anger issues all of them. Most of the time the "silent treatment" is mistaken for something else. Try leaving them alone until you cool off.
I don’t do it because I’m terrible at it; literally cannot keep my mouth shut to save my life. Seriously; in the past I endured life-threatening domestic violence because I cannot. Let. It go.
And because they were abusive, of course.
I have it done to me all the time by the husband & it’s almost amusing because I find it effeminate. There is some sort of paradox involved with a very large, very healthy, very strong, my senior by 12 years, blue-collar biker ... giving me the silent treatment.
Because it IS passive-aggressive. From a person highly capable & adept at being ... aggressive. He thinks he’s taking the high road by not “engaging” me.
Whatever; I think it makes him look like a little b****.
He also thinks that it’s his only option when I’m confrontational, because that as a survivor of domestic violence; I have no ability to “close” a disagreement that doesn’t end with me getting the last word in & then getting the crap knocked out of me.
Basically, he thinks I pursue escalation subconsciously because it’s the only way I understand conflict in a relationship. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
In the 70's or 80's, there was a book written called "Passive Men, Wild Women." The premise was interesting and enlightening.
My husband does it all the time and I find it sort of a blessing. Ah, peace and quiet.
Meant in a genteel way...I am laughing kindly at the above.......as I recall, My BF would say...Ahhh finally the silent treatment! Love it! I can now rest my weary head. And rest he would.
As I've aged....I take heed to a persons "silence" and consider it a time out for them to regain composure...reflect...or simply be that stompy little kid who refuses to engage and resolve....Pick and choose. I usually lean towards...reflection before uttering....
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