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Hi,
As any person sometimes I am bothered by things people do to me with ill intentions. Sometimes I fantasize about doing very, very cruel things to them. A lot worse than what they do to me. Most of the things I imagine are physical tortures. This happens from time to time, specially when I focus on the things they have done to me. Is this kind of behavior normal in the majority of people/males or should I try to change this behavior?
I carry a weapon for self-defense, so I have done the psychological test for it multiple times, which I guess means I am not crazy. Outside of my fantasies I am a very calmed person. I always avoid fighting, and getting angry to the point of losing control almost never happens. So I wonder why there is such a huge difference between my behavior in real life and what I fantasize sometimes.
Well. I think you’re fine. It’s the people without a huge difference between fantasy & reality that concern me. So do those who both think & act violent & those who act without thinking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by king01
I would like to take revenge on them if I could (which I could not), so I imagine things like putting them to sleep and using a driller to perforate their wrists and ankles so that they cant use their hands or walk again. I would let them live obviously.
That sort of stuff is what comes to my mind sometimes.
How often is “sometimes”?
I’m angry about something that I cannot let go of too & I want to make them pay. I couldn’t actually put my hands on someone & hurt them. I just am not that person.
Not a day goes by without a reminder of what they have done & sometimes envisioning them under siege by all the demons from hell; is still not a comfort.
It's normal to fantasize about but not if you carry it out.
You have to get it out somehow otherwise it will eat you up. Don't fall into bad behavior to deal with it. I crank some Metallica and go hard off roading to get out the rage. Never hurt anybody just truck damage. My girl friend did kick boxing.
Or go to a pretty view outdoors and play some Eagles to calm down.
I used to fantasize chopping the gentials off the guy who raped, beat and tried to strangle me.. with a dull rusty knife. After he was convicted and sent to prison I hoped he’d get the same treatment he gave me... He did get a “ tune up” while in custody awaiting trial. I saw the results during his first court appearance and it made me smile. Back when I used to think about it... I am pretty sure I’d have done it... given the chance.
You shouldn't have mentioned the piece. Now if anything questionable happens, your posts can be used as evidence against you. If you do talk to a therapist, don't mention your protection.
I know that some artists often have these type thoughts and they release them thru their drawing. I am not stereotyping them. I am from artist family and am married to one and am one.
When I was younger in 6th grade and Jr. high and experiencing being bullied, I did fantasize like this a lot.
At some point I think you have to get a certain assertiveness and confidence to know that these things people do are small and using certain words in certain situations can give you the basic power and that solves the issue at the time it happens so that you don't carry the negativity with you and then fantasize about it.
Might want to see the movie Crumb about how one artist deals with his odd thoughts.
One thing I like to do to reverse bad thoughts and to move on is to imagine that somehow, a positive change in other person happens in such a way that would somehow favor both me and the other person. Like, somehow the person reforms, and we are able to see that reformation and able to somehow trust that person to be good and respectful to us maybe to the point of even becoming a platonic friend.
So, if someone did something ill intentioned to you, consciously or unconsciously, you could imagine that somehow, that person was able to come up to you in-person in a manner in which you could accept them coming to you, and then they tell you in-person all the wrong they did and how they would like a chance to rebuild a platonic friendship. What also helps me move on from things is that I actually "leave my door" open for communication to those who wronged me because I always want to give them an opportunity to speak to me.
I don't have expectations that people will change significantly, but I do whole heartedly believe that if a person knows they did wrong and they want to change, they will change. Make people earn your respect and trust, but always give them the chance to do so. You can make the door harder to open each time if there are multiple unsavory occurrences. This line of thinking has helped me become a better person to myself and helps me appreciate that others may be facing internal struggles that they don't know how to really deal with. We can't be expected to help them, but sometimes just trying to be supportive and always seeking positivity for all I think is the best way to go.
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