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fight-flight-freeze response is my companion. I react with FFF in 99% of social situations. And from time to time, it's kind enough to leave me. But it's just a few times a year.
I made this topic, because yesterday I had one of these days. It was wonderful. My FFF left me for a few hours, for the first time since a long time.
So moments like that make me realize that living life with non-stop FFF is really hard and sad. You get used to, but once it leaves you, it's like another dimension. Being able to talk to people without severe stress response is beautiful. I was in a pretty small town yesterday, where strangers say "hello" to each other. Normally if I do that, I do it as a training, as my counter-phobic behavior. Yesterday it felt natural. Even if somebody answered with grumpy face, it still felt great. I felt like I love people. And it reminded me I should keep on trying to achieve this state as a basis, because that's normal. Some of you can think that such state is not normal, but the thing is that I was more excited about it coming randomly. It's what people take for granted, but people with chronic anxiety know what I'm talking about.
I was thinking about the reason of this state coming to me. It could be because I've been walking for a few hours on the rocks, so I needed to pay attention to my body to not fall down. People advice me to exercise and I do, but it doesn't normally help my anxiety. One theory is that my mind go crazy when I'm tired and I push myself to exercise. Mild exercise is too mild to stop the racing thoughts, but it helps a bit. But yesterday I needed to really focus on doing that, so that's one of the possible reasons. Another possibility is that I had a crisis the days before, so maybe my nervous system released lots of tension after that.
Do you guys experience FFF response on daily basis? How does it affect your social interactions?
I'm told I mask it well, but I'm anxious most of the time in situations that seem social to me. Not all interactions are "social" in my schema, and how I define social probably doesn't pertain here, but when it's social, I'm usually anxious.
Except when I'm not. Then I experience this sweet, expansive feeling where everything is right with the world, and especially with me and the people around me. These are moments or periods of social lucidity, distinct from the social storm I often experience.
I wonder if your activity so required your focus that you had to be in that moment? If there's a pattern to the times I feel especially connected to things it's when I've been deeply absorbed in some project or activity. Maybe there's a lesson there?
Could it be a brain chemistry thing? Like...for OP, when you're walking, and when it starts to get strenous, our bodies release endorphins. Endorphins feel good...and maybe walking on the rocks was strenous...endorphins got released, and you were at peace and in the moment.
I'm not sure if this would be relevant to you...but my stepson used to be kind of a bear to be around. He never took his angst out on me, and rarely on his father...but it was like he had angry bees in his head all the time, and he was often in a bad mood and short tempered. This went on for a long time.
Then one day, his wife told him he better get some kind of counseling or help, or she would be leaving him. (Honestly, I often shook my head that she put up with his shenanigans as long as she did.)
Long story short, he got on an anti-depressant, and it made all the difference in the world for him. It's been an AMAZING difference in him, and for him.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imfine
Hi guys,
fight-flight-freeze response is my companion. I react with FFF in 99% of social situations. And from time to time, it's kind enough to leave me. But it's just a few times a year.
I made this topic, because yesterday I had one of these days. It was wonderful. My FFF left me for a few hours, for the first time since a long time.
So moments like that make me realize that living life with non-stop FFF is really hard and sad. You get used to, but once it leaves you, it's like another dimension. Being able to talk to people without severe stress response is beautiful. I was in a pretty small town yesterday, where strangers say "hello" to each other. Normally if I do that, I do it as a training, as my counter-phobic behavior. Yesterday it felt natural. Even if somebody answered with grumpy face, it still felt great. I felt like I love people. And it reminded me I should keep on trying to achieve this state as a basis, because that's normal. Some of you can think that such state is not normal, but the thing is that I was more excited about it coming randomly. It's what people take for granted, but people with chronic anxiety know what I'm talking about.
I was thinking about the reason of this state coming to me. It could be because I've been walking for a few hours on the rocks, so I needed to pay attention to my body to not fall down. People advice me to exercise and I do, but it doesn't normally help my anxiety. One theory is that my mind go crazy when I'm tired and I push myself to exercise. Mild exercise is too mild to stop the racing thoughts, but it helps a bit. But yesterday I needed to really focus on doing that, so that's one of the possible reasons. Another possibility is that I had a crisis the days before, so maybe my nervous system released lots of tension after that.
Do you guys experience FFF response on daily basis? How does it affect your social interactions?
When I read your first paragraph, OP, I was planning to ask if you were exercising, or otherwise in an elevated state of heart rate when this happened.
I'm not exactly sure why that is, but anxiety can go from 0 to 100 for me if I'm at a low heartrate/baseline and I don't experience it much if I'm exercising. And yes, if you are already in crisis, an anxiety attack about a social interaction is less likely to happen. In my experience, anyway.
Comedian Steve Martin wrote a novel, "The Pleasure of my Company", which is very insightful about anxiety and OCD. It's a quick read, sweet, and I think you might like it. It would seem that Martin must have anxiety issues, he speaks with such a clear voice in this novel.
" freeze" was a state i had to learn about when i didn't do the other options. there are actual physiological effects that happen with repeated traumatizing situations, and since none of us can 'read minds' beforehand on meeting people, it's easier to accept that reaction with this info as a given phenomenon. before, it was like "why didn't i react differently?" not the most supportive way to help myself grow beyond that problem.
I wonder if your activity so required your focus that you had to be in that moment? If there's a pattern to the times I feel especially connected to things it's when I've been deeply absorbed in some project or activity. Maybe there's a lesson there?
Probably there is a lesson there, but normally even meditation doesn't work this way on me. Maybe my mind is so trained in distracting itself that it must be a survival situation, like not falling off from the rocks to keep it focused?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
Long story short, he got on an anti-depressant, and it made all the difference in the world for him. It's been an AMAZING difference in him, and for him.
Anti-depressants have always had some effect on me, but I wouldn't say it was that great. Plus the side effects.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jezku
" freeze" was a state i had to learn about when i didn't do the other options. there are actual physiological effects that happen with repeated traumatizing situations, and since none of us can 'read minds' beforehand on meeting people, it's easier to accept that reaction with this info as a given phenomenon. before, it was like "why didn't i react differently?" not the most supportive way to help myself grow beyond that problem.
Freeze is basically the only reaction I experience and some psychologists still don't know it exists, calling it Fight-Flight. There is a book about the Freeze reaction, called "Waking the Tiger" by Peter A. Levine. Great read.
There is also entirely different body function when away from FFF. Normally I feel like my body movement is forced, like without any pushing I'd end up still. When I was there, walking on the rocks, I felt like my body responds to my thoughts! I've been talking to myself loud (when nobody else was there ) and my hands followed me, making beautiful gestures to highlight the words. It was heavenly. That's why people are able to talk to each other so smoothly. I knew that, forgot that and recalled again on the rocks.
Last edited by imfine; 03-13-2019 at 03:10 PM..
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) and my hands followed me, making beautiful gestures to highlight the words. It was heavenly. That's why people are able to talk to each other so smoothly. I knew that, forgot that and recalled again on the rocks.
