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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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I'm a 30 yo female with no kids...& I don't think there is a stigma except in a few places in the country because of their traditions & religious reasons they put a lot more pressure on all of us to have babies. Babies are wonderful....but life is wonderful without them too..Lol.
What I feel is not so much a stigma, but a kind of loneliness. Everywhere I go, I'm going to see alot of people who are married, married with kids, or having a significant other in their life. I'm going to be 33 very soon. I never had much luck with women at all. I'm not fat and ugly. Just someone who was never anyone's type. Being 5'5" can complicate things too (no, it isn't impossible, but it can play a role). I pretty much gave up. As it stands, I'm 32, never been married, no girlfriend, nothing. No kids either. I'm a perennial bachelor.
One thing that hurts when it comes to being a bachelor is watching my social life fade over the years. A majority of people that I knew back in college or high school are married, and/or have children. This is the thing. When it comes to weekends, I have all the time in the world to hang out. From Friday evening to Sunday evening, I have time. No kids to take care of. No wife or girlfriend. Just bachelor me. The thing is, alot of people I know don't have that kind of time. If it isn't dealing with kids, it's dealing with wife/husband (I made alot of female friends in college). Back in my college days, I could find time to hang with someone who had a boyfriend or girlfriend. As more and more people I knew got married and moved on, I was left with fewer people to hang out with.
I also think about who I seem to relate to these days. I've thought about the jobs I've had from my late 20s to now. It was easier to relate to fellow childless/bachelor persons(what few there were) and the older adults (age 40+) who had teenagers. I had a harder time reaching out to or relating to persons who were closer to my age if they had young kids. I don't have that many social interractions with people with little kids. And it's not because I don't want to. It's often because said persons can find other persons who are close to their age and have kids. They relate to fellow parents. I can talk about other things, besides kids. I do try to do that.
What I feel is this. I don't feel an out right stigma against the unmarried and childless. What I have felt is a sense of being alone. My social life is not what it used to be. I get jealous sometimes when I see couples in a bar, coffee shop, or somewhere alot of people gather.
Aren't you in the South? Move to the West Coast--CA, and you'll be surrounded by singles in your age range. It's normal out there to be single in the early-to-mid 30's, even the 40's! It's a whole different world. Of course, moving & getting a job are easier said than done, but I just thought I'd point out that there would be nothing unusual at all about your status there, and you'd be far from alone.
Aren't you in the South? Move to the West Coast--CA, and you'll be surrounded by singles in your age range. It's normal out there to be single in the early-to-mid 30's, even the 40's! It's a whole different world. Of course, moving & getting a job are easier said than done, but I just thought I'd point out that there would be nothing unusual at all about your status there, and you'd be far from alone.
He posted up that he lives near Atlanta, which is in the South, but it's not part of the Bible-beating "Get married and have babeez already!" culture that is found in parts of the South.
Besides, most people can't just up and move to a different part of the country, without at least a job.
Aren't you in the South? Move to the West Coast--CA, and you'll be surrounded by singles in your age range. It's normal out there to be single in the early-to-mid 30's, even the 40's! It's a whole different world. Of course, moving & getting a job are easier said than done, but I just thought I'd point out that there would be nothing unusual at all about your status there, and you'd be far from alone.
Yes, I'm in the South. I'm in the Atlanta area. And yes, I have wanted to move west. I've thought more about moving to Colorado or Washington state. Moving out there is easier said than done. I won't go out there without a job and money lined up to survive. I have a job here in the Atlanta metropolitan area.
Interestingly, persons that I know who have remained single into their 30s moved. Florida, Virginia, and Colorado were the main places chosen. Texas too.
He posted up that he lives near Atlanta, which is in the South, but it's not part of the Bible-beating "Get married and have babeez already!" culture that is found in parts of the South.
Besides, most people can't just up and move to a different part of the country, without at least a job.
Atlanta proper isn't the "Bible beating" part of the South. I live in a suburb where getting married and having babies by 25 is the norm. However, I don't hang out there, not very much anyway. I go to other places if I want to hang out and socialize. I'm just staying there temporarily. I'm still in the Atlanta area because I have a job here, I haven't been offered a job elsewhere, and just picking up and moving is not practical. It's already getting expensive.
I did meet some individuals in college who felt it was their duty to get married and have kids by the time they were 25.
Most of what I'm dealing with comes with being in my 30s and single.
Atlanta proper isn't the "Bible beating" part of the South. I live in a suburb where getting married and having babies by 25 is the norm. However, I don't hang out there, not very much anyway. I go to other places if I want to hang out and socialize. I'm just staying there temporarily. I'm still in the Atlanta area because I have a job here, I haven't been offered a job elsewhere, and just picking up and moving is not practical. It's already getting expensive.
I did meet some individuals in college who felt it was their duty to get married and have kids by the time they were 25.
Most of what I'm dealing with comes with being in my 30s and single.
Actually given that you want a certain level of purity in a woman, you’d do better in the Bible beating south than someplace more liberal.
Actually given that you want a certain level of purity in a woman, you’d do better in the Bible beating south than someplace more liberal.
Oddly enough, even down here there is alot of craziness around me. I grew up in a "Bible beating" county in Georgia. Plenty of stupidity where I live.
At this point in my life, I don't have much incentive to get married and start a family. It's expensive taking care of myself. And considering what my standards are, I'm not going to choose just anyone.
At the end of the day, this is where I stand. Being single and childless isn't so much a bad thing. I don't feel look down on. I don't have an urge to get married and have kids. I do get jealous sometimes when I see alot of couples in the street. I do feel left out sometimes when I see that people with spouses/kids tend to seek out people in that stage of their lives.
Oddly enough, even down here there is alot of craziness around me. I grew up in a "Bible beating" county in Georgia. Plenty of stupidity where I live.
At this point in my life, I don't have much incentive to get married and start a family. It's expensive taking care of myself. And considering what my standards are, I'm not going to choose just anyone.
At the end of the day, this is where I stand. Being single and childless isn't so much a bad thing. I don't feel look down on. I don't have an urge to get married and have kids. I do get jealous sometimes when I see alot of couples in the street. I do feel left out sometimes when I see that people with spouses/kids tend to seek out people in that stage of their lives.
Are you able to save up for a vacation? You should take a visit to Berkeley and Oakland, CA. It would be a major change in environment, and you'd see how ordinary being single in the 30's and beyond is. Plus, you might actually have fun! Museums, beaches, free concerts, jazz clubs, street scenes, nature, redwoods, etc.
((( hugs ))) mariner! You're a fish out of water. Go find your environment, where you fit in.
Oddly enough, even down here there is alot of craziness around me. I grew up in a "Bible beating" county in Georgia. Plenty of stupidity where I live.
At this point in my life, I don't have much incentive to get married and start a family. It's expensive taking care of myself. And considering what my standards are, I'm not going to choose just anyone.
At the end of the day, this is where I stand. Being single and childless isn't so much a bad thing. I don't feel look down on. I don't have an urge to get married and have kids. I do get jealous sometimes when I see alot of couples in the street. I do feel left out sometimes when I see that people with spouses/kids tend to seek out people in that stage of their lives.
I don’t have kids either (and I’m in my 40’s) - but what I don’t understand is your lack of interest to connect with anyone (yet you feel lonely on the weekends). Dates, friends, hobbies, whatever - life is too short. Not every date has to potentially be someone you’d marry. It’s as if you are putting a ‘stigma’ on yourself.
I don’t have kids either (and I’m in my 40’s) - but what I don’t understand is your lack of interest to connect with anyone (yet you feel lonely on the weekends). Dates, friends, hobbies, whatever - life is too short. Not every date has to potentially be someone you’d marry. It’s as if you are putting a ‘stigma’ on yourself.
I agree with this.
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