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When I was a teen adults told me I had it easier because I had no bills to pay, no responsibilities, etc. and “wait until you get out into the real world”. Now as an adult I ask people if they would relive their teenage years they respond with "HELL NO!" like they have such*contempt for their teenage years. One person responded that she would go back to high school but not to middle school. I asked why. She said she was bullied and immature. I said so what? It's much easier than paying bills and having adult*responsibilities. Why wouldn't you go back to a time where you don't have to pay bills. A mistake in adulthood can cost you your house, job, car, etc. As a teen if you mess up you can take another test to get a better score. The only reason I can think of having responsibilities and having to work to support yourself is more fun than being carefree is if you were abused.
If I was sent back to my teen years, I'd be glad of the opportunity to make different choices from when I left at 18.
But I wouldn't choose to go back. People tried to bully me but never for long; I wasn't reactive enough. Being a teenager was frustrating because other adult's mistakes affected me and I had no choice but to deal with it. My parents could take things I had bought or worked for as a punishment for whatever they chose. They could "change their mind" about letting me go to work, knowing that I had a goal with a deadline to save FOR. A teacher could mark me off for grammar even when it was correct because she was the teacher. It didn't matter if I had a stack of English books, marked to the paragraph, her mistake in marking my final paper down would stick because she was the teacher.
AT LEAST, as an adult, my mistakes are MINE. I can bore crazy people to death and slip away from them. My choices - all of them - are my own.
I'm convinced that the teen/parent struggle is nothing more than the contradiction that is adults telling teens to be adults, immediately followed by those adults NOT LETTING THEM act like adults. Like when a parent tells a teenager to stop asking them for money. Money doesn't grow on trees; you'll learn that when you're an adult. Then the teenager gets a job or a bunch of little jobs in order to have money and the parent tells them that they can't work during the school year - they need to focus on their studies. As if both are impossible and not EXACTLY what millions upon millions of people do all the time, everywhere. Let the screaming and slamming of doors commence.
When I was a teen adults told me I had it easier because I had no bills to pay, no responsibilities, etc. and “wait until you get out into the real world”. Now as an adult I ask people if they would relive their teenage years they respond with "HELL NO!" like they have such*contempt for their teenage years. One person responded that she would go back to high school but not to middle school. I asked why. She said she was bullied and immature. I said so what? It's much easier than paying bills and having adult*responsibilities. Why wouldn't you go back to a time where you don't have to pay bills. A mistake in adulthood can cost you your house, job, car, etc. As a teen if you mess up you can take another test to get a better score. The only reason I can think of having responsibilities and having to work to support yourself is more fun than being carefree is if you were abused.
I like being independent and taking care of my own household (my wife is an equal partner, so that helps).
I was a shy, awkward, immature, insecure, a-hole teenager with no confidence who wasn't very good at standing up for myself. I also lacked social skills and was surrounded by a lot of nasty people.
I always held some kind of job since I was eleven, so I at least had my own money.
Thankfully, I had a nice home life, too.
I'm a different/better person now and wouldn't want to re-live that mess for all the tea in China.
I think the only people who liked being a teenager were the 'cool/popular' kids.
Last edited by Indiana Tony; 04-05-2019 at 08:22 AM..
Adolescents have a lot of insecurities and don't quite know who they are yet, raging hormones, and a lot of thinking they know more than they know - poor decision making, etc. I do not want to unlearn what I've learned. However, if I could go back to being a teenager but keep the lessons I've learned, then yeah, it might be interesting - but it would be a different experience - and maybe that would take away from it.
This. I think the people who want to go back to their high school years want to because they were popular, and the adult world doesn't care if you were Homecoming Queen or the guy who got a brand-new car on his 16th birthday. And I suspect that they never quite got over losing that status in the adult world.
For me, high school was okay--neither the best time of my life, nor the worst time. There were fun times, and not-fun times. But nothing in particular that makes me think, "I wish I could go back to that." I don't love paying bills, but it comes with the territory of being old enough to make my own decisions as to how to live.
I think some of that depends on if they peaked in HS or not. I know kids that were popular in HS that did and I know kids that didn't. Maybe the whole "peaked in HS" thing is more common in rural areas, but where I grew up much of the homecoming court went on to be quite successful...The population of folks that were both "average" and popular was sort of small.
But yeah HS had some fun times but when it was over I was ready for it to be over.
As you get older, you just become a different person....and looking back on yourself as a kid is not fun. Many of us made poor decisions, stupid errors...
and regret them. Nothing to miss...
I would love to go back to high school, if I could have my current mature outlook.
In the 80s I "did" high school very badly. Was so anxious and depressed and weird and I focused on things that didn't matter in the long run. I wish I had been able to ignore all the awkward social stuff, and got better grades and whatnot. I floundered badly at the end of high school, and never did finish my university degree. All which has had long term effects on my life. My parents were hands off to almost the point of emotional neglect, so it's not like I didn't have some say in what I did. Years later my mom told me they left me alone because they "thought i was doing fine", when I was really a mess. So I would love to have a do-over!
The only reason I'd actually want to re-live my teen years would be for the opportunity to tweak my approach towards college/career. I have a well-paying career now, just not in what I actually want to do. Importantly, I'd make damn sure to still end up at the specific bar in Knoxville on the night I met my now-fiance .
Otherwise, no thank you. I was shy, awkward, immature, and very low on confidence. I didn't really have my own money, couldn't even get a retail or fast food job, and didn't have a car (hometown was extremely car-dependent). I really did not become my own person until my mid/late-20s. My parents were able to provide plenty for me, and we went on multiple really cool trips; I will forever be grateful and respect what they could do. However, there are certain lifestyle decisions I've made as an adult that are better IMO.
Paying bills sucks, yes, but beyond that I have money for fun and travel now, and in general I can do things on MY terms. Why would I want to give that up? Then there's sitting in classes all day, just to have homework/studying to do afterwards. I now work only 40-45 hours/week and don't take any of it home.
When I was a teen adults told me I had it easier because I had no bills to pay, no responsibilities, etc. and “wait until you get out into the real world”. Now as an adult I ask people if they would relive their teenage years they respond with "HELL NO!" like they have such*contempt for their teenage years. One person responded that she would go back to high school but not to middle school. I asked why. She said she was bullied and immature. I said so what? It's much easier than paying bills and having adult*responsibilities. Why wouldn't you go back to a time where you don't have to pay bills. A mistake in adulthood can cost you your house, job, car, etc. As a teen if you mess up you can take another test to get a better score. The only reason I can think of having responsibilities and having to work to support yourself is more fun than being carefree is if you were abused.
My teen years were a combination of fun, trauma, and stupidity. I had one good friend but wasn't popular, I wasn't abused but my mom re-married and I hated my step-dad, and I was in general a delinquent who was lucky to make it through those years to where I am now. I wouldn't go back to 16 for all the money in the world. I never felt worse about myself than I did during those years.
Compared to our adult lives most of us were a-holes as teenagers. The real adventures of life began afterward.
Either a-holes or just stupid and didn't know it.
Which may be the same thing.
Most of us are aware of how much more stupid we were as teenagers than we are as adults, and wouldn't want to regress.
And that ought to be universal. If any adult isn't relatively more wise than he was as a teenager, then he's still relatively stupid.
And probably still an a-hole.
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