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Women in this thread aren't trying to figure out how to look like the ideal. They're talking about the damage the ideal does, or the damage expectations to look like the ideal does, and where those expectations come from. That's really pretty clear.
If I spent time fixated on images the media brings to the world I might be insecure about my looks.
Isn't it interesting how television wants the fake to be perfect and are so anxious to display the imperfect in the lives of those trying to just get by. Remember when the press was careful to only publish flattering pictures of prominent people? Well me neither - it's been quite some time.
I do believe there are women who are prettier than me, women who are uglier than me, and many who look like me. Dressing up with make up and styled hair does make me look my best self in my category.
My wife contends that the false images of young, middle aged, and even senior women on Tv, print media, movies etc, make the average woman feel ugly.
So this question is for the ladies: Do you feel that all or parts of your body are ugly, gross, etc? Does this bother you a lot?
If it true, this is a shame because these women spend a small fortune on hair, makeup, clothes, they work out, spend money on plastic surgery, and on to of that, most of the still images are photoshopped. There's no way the average women can afford what these women in the public eye spend on their appearance.
I don't think we feel ugly from seeing more-ideal people so much as feel cast aside when we see how many people hold what THEY see in media as the standard. Really, we shouldn't care about that either but when you're young and/or insecure and any age, having someone you care about hold you to that standard feels cruel. (ie Teenaged boys with raging acne, dirty clothes, poor eating habits, and even worse hygiene wanting every girl to look like a Gap or BCBG or Benetton model, when I was a teenager. Dream on, guys. I don't understand how they had the gall to expect that of all teenaged girls when they looked and behaved like they did. Boys with bad acne, yellow teeth, and greasy hair making fun of a gorgeous, slim girl because she had a breakout on her chin.)
I don't blame advertisers and casting directors for choosing generally-beautiful people who have mass appeal... beautiful people ARE more pleasant to look at in the same way that an A-line cut on a voluptuous woman is more pleasing to the eye than shoving a woman of any size with a "mother's apron" into a bodycon dress.
There are parts of my body I don't like... all fixable if I cared enough to change them. I really don't yet though. It doesn't bug me enough. I've always liked my face, skin, teeth, and hair, don't wear much makeup (mascara and lipstick, eyeliner if I'm wanting to look polished), and wear clothes I feel my best in. Feeling good about myself always results in better interactions with everyone else because it's my attitude that shows more than anything. My husband always tells me I look beautiful but I don't value that as much because he's biased. (Just like when grandparents tell you that you're the most amazing at x, y, or z they've ever seen. lol) I DO believe him though when I go for an unusual look with all kinds of individual things he has said he didn't like - but I'm feeling a little wild - and he looks surprised. Delightedly so. And really, I think he - and everyone else I interact with SO well when I feel at my best - are seeing my personality rather than the stuff that lets it show. I feel a spring in my step, a shine in my eyes, and an extra bit of tenderness for everyone I encounter. I get more done. My house stays clean. I'm game for whatever. Good things happen when I feel good about myself. It only took 30 years to figure it out. :P
I cared what other people thought until I was about 20. Then, gradually, I only cared what my husband thought. Now, I don't care what he thinks about my look so long as I feel good about it.
Added bonus: The people I meet when I'm feeling good (and dress like it) are the most fun people. It's like we draw each other out by attitude. lol - I don't see them at all when I feel blah and dress like it.
When I had to start wearing glasses in 4th grade I felt they made me look ugly and back in the middle 60's kids called me "four eyes". Plus, I was a small for my age Italian girl who looked a lot different from the other kids. My grandmother, who raised me, always told me I should be grateful if a man was interested in me. Unfortunately it made me choose poorly when it came to men.
About 12 years ago I ran into a lady I knew from high school. I was around 52 by then. We talked and the next time I saw her she brought in our yearbook; I had lost mine years earlier in one of my many moves. In looking at myself and my classmates I realized I was actually one of the prettiest girls in my senior glass. My grandmother and having to wear glasses when few kids did at a young age, colored my perception of what I looked like for years.
Now at 64 people are always amazed that I am not still in my early 50's and I finally realized that I look damn good considering all I have been through in the last 15 years.
This discussion reminds me of the time Julianne Moore said that all actresses are hungry all of the time because they have to starve themselves to get work in Hollywood.
I hope you are not suggesting that a healthy someone who happens to be content with their less-than-celebrity appearance is automatically lazy or without ambition? Their interests simply may not fall there. There's nothing to "improve". If someone doesn't strain to attain some other person's taste in a face, eyebrow, lip, chin, nails, butt, boob, chest or whatever does that make them poor "specimens"?
And the real truth is, for the celebrity ideal in both men and women, that level of vanity is not necessarily born of health. Those people, men and women, are on extreme diet and exercise plans and often using performance enhancing drugs. Chris Hemsworth doesn't look like Thor just by a disciplined workout and eating a lot of chicken, you know?
No, I don't think I'm ugly but the rest of the world might. I've been the butt of jokes since I was a little girl. I still remember every insult, every time I was laughed at, every time I was passed over for a job or an advancement or left out of more "attractive" social circles. However I'm still here and I'm healthy, feisty, and not about to take anyone's ____. I'll take experience and cunning over having a pretty face any day. I've outlived my enemies and have zero F's to give.
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