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I finished college at the age of 23 after changing major many times
Then, I took an online degree in accounting that does pass/fail only
Completed that in 2013, at the age of 25
I was still doing retail/fast food/call center until 2016
Then just when I had my first "real" job in accounting for a private firm
I had a nervous breakdown or some form of mental illness which made me less than efficient worker
I had to quit - and then after a year, I went back to working again in menial jobs
Then when I almost gave up, just this year, 2020, at age 32 - I got another chance.
I was offered a job in August as a government auditor. My highest paid job so far.
I work at home, and the job is relaxing, it's not stressful at all.
I lost many friends along the way because I was ashamed of what my life had become
But now I feel better, and I am saving up and contributing to my household
I am still single, living at home, paying $500 rent, driving my mom around, helping with the chores
I am not comparing myself to my friends anymore. We all have our own journey.
My closest friend in High school went to a really good school, got married and seems to have it all.
While I am still at home - but I am happy, that I am around family, that my parents love me
and I may never get married - and maybe that's fine too.
I still feel like a loser sometimes, but at least I no longer feel like I'm a poor loser.
My life suddenly have taken a turn for the better, a bit better
I am in a culture wherein marriage is expected, and kids and all that
People do look down on single women
but I just try to at least be financially independent, soon.
Well I do work 40-50 hours per week taking 50-100 calls per day of people yelling and screaming, another thing that's not good for my mental health. In all actuality, I spend maybe 1-2 hours of my off time per day on social media and 1-2 hours hiking. I get no social interaction though. I made a couple of good friends when I moved here, but they've had to move to different states due to the economy.
My life was really turning a corner. Then Covid and the economic crash happened and with it, a literal 10 year setback at the worst possible time. It's a hard pill to swallow. I'm actually having a difficult time accepting reality right now. It's just too painful. It's both amazing and mindnumbing and par for the course that everything went to hell right as things were starting to get better for me. That's how it always happens.
I'm in therapy and it's slowly working....but I have major headwinds pushing against me right now.
Are you still in Oklahoma? Come on, dude, you have got to move. M-O-V-E. There are 49 other states in this country, and you'd probably find at least 45 of them to be more to your liking than where you are now. You will never get out of your rut if you don't pull up your stakes and get the H-E-double toothpicks out of that state.
Did you get the car issue settled? There are sites and companies that help people find “buyers†for their lease. The person takes over your lease and car. You might not get 100 percent of the payment but it could free up some money for you, and you could look for a cheaper car or clunker for now.
Did you get the car issue settled? There are sites and companies that help people find “buyers†for their lease. The person takes over your lease and car. You might not get 100 percent of the payment but it could free up some money for you, and you could look for a cheaper car or clunker for now.
Car is paid off and I left Oklahoma in 2019. At the end of last year, for the first time in a long while the future was looking bright for me.
Then the pandemic knocked me back on my arse. I just can't win. I complained for years about how much I hated Oklahoma and wished I could leave. I picked the absolute worst time possible to do it. I vented over and over again about the obstacles that were preventing me from doing so. I finally mustered up the courage to do it and then this happened.
Quote:
Originally Posted by msRB311
It is unfortunate that so much of life is emphasized on what we do or don't do during our 20s and 30's (or even teens since that's when many people apply and get accepted to college). I think people are changing careers later in life but I've noticed that these tend to be already successful people. I have yet to really see anyone who floundered around and partied in their 20s and 30s then suddenly became an engineer or product designer in their 40s.
This is what scares me. I feel like my window of opportunity for a happy and successful life is closing. I'm 35 now but by the time Covid is firmly in the rear-view mirror and the economy makes its way back, 40 will be here.
Car is paid off and I left Oklahoma in 2019. At the end of last year, for the first time in a long while the future was looking bright for me.
Then the pandemic knocked me back on my arse. I just can't win. I complained for years about how much I hated Oklahoma and wished I could leave. I picked the absolute worst time possible to do it. I vented over and over again about the obstacles that were preventing me from doing so. I finally mustered up the courage to do it and then this happened.
.
So why didn't you find a new job in a different location? Even during the pandemic, there is a lot of hiring going on.
10% of our office started working for us since work from home began.
Get out of the "find an excuse" mode, and expect more from yourself.
People here at as if its so easy to find another job. News flash: it isn't. If you're a nurse or in IT, sure. Anything else, particularly at a higher level professionally could take YEARS. I share the OPs struggles on getting out of an undesirable place. It would be irresponsible to just leave with no job lined up, particularly at my age. So here I sit. Sure, anyone can get a job at McDonalds. What quality of life is that? Getting a job in a call center like the OP did isn't great either as I'm sure he will attest. Unless you have F you money set aside and can live in a tiny house or whatever its called, its just unrealistic. Period, end of rant.
. I'm 35 now but by the time Covid is firmly in the rear-view mirror and the economy makes its way back, 40 will be here.
The economy from 2017-2019 was tremendous. Unfortunately, you did not use that to the maximum advantage possible.
The next 4 years will feature a bad jobs market, so stay at the call center if possible..it is better than nothing.
I am familiar, as I did telemarketing during college decades back..at a good company.and, of course went the professional career route after graduation.
At this point this thread should be renamed "How to accept losing ten years of my life" because I've lost a couple more years since I created it. And I see little hope of anything changing.
The car decision, which prevented me from leaving Oklahoma in 2015 when I wanted to, ruined me. I did leave Oklahoma in 2019 but it was too late. The economy crashed and due to COVID restrictions I've been unable to re-establish my life in my new city. And with this being a Great Depression type situation and most experts saying there will be at least another year of virus lockdowns, there's no hope in the near future. So, I'm forced to just sit and live with my failures. I can't go back to my life in Oklahoma either since all of my friends there have moved on without me.
At this point, I'm starting to think that I'll never have a successful career. When the economy comes back I'll be in my 40s and most people don't reinvent themselves that late in their lives. That said, a successful career isn't a prerequisite for happiness and a lot of people who go all in on their careers and neglect the other areas of their life end up in similar ruts. I'm going to need to try to focus on improving other areas of my life where I might be able to find happiness.
Unfortunately, there isn't a single area of my life that isn't a total disaster right now. I currently have no friends and no relationship prospects either, and that isn't likely to change until Covid is over.
At this point this thread should be renamed "How to accept losing ten years of my life" because I've lost a couple more years since I created it. And I see little hope of anything changing.
The car decision, which prevented me from leaving Oklahoma in 2015 when I wanted to, ruined me. I did leave Oklahoma in 2019 but it was too late. The economy crashed and due to COVID restrictions I've been unable to re-establish my life in my new city. And with this being a Great Depression type situation and most experts saying there will be at least another year of virus lockdowns, there's no hope in the near future. So, I'm forced to just sit and live with my failures. I can't go back to my life in Oklahoma either since all of my friends there have moved on without me.
At this point, I'm starting to think that I'll never have a successful career. When the economy comes back I'll be in my 40s and most people don't reinvent themselves that late in their lives. That said, a successful career isn't a prerequisite for happiness and a lot of people who go all in on their careers and neglect the other areas of their life end up in similar ruts. I'm going to need to try to focus on improving other areas of my life where I might be able to find happiness.
Unfortunately, there isn't a single area of my life that isn't a total disaster right now. I currently have no friends and no relationship prospects either, and that isn't likely to change until Covid is over.
Covid-19 has certainly influenced many aspects of life but the current crisis over it will end eventually. Why do I suspect you'll find another reason for your personal failures/personal regrets to replace it once it does? Seems that your primary enemy is yourself, not the world around you. Every time you post another update about how bad your life is, you rehash yet again all the bad stuff from the past. You've even made some admirable progress but it still isn't enough. Tells me the root of your troubles is still the same which means you're going to keep adding years to the current tally.
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