25-30 drinks per week — drinking problem? (woman, dating, issues)
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I agree with most health authorities that some people are more prone to alcoholism than other people are. My husband and I, on average, drink (only) two glasses of wine three or four nights a week, but we have never "binged" and have never even once been noticeably intoxicated in our 35 years of marriage. We also have frequently gone four or five days in a row without having a single alcoholic beverage, never missing it in the least.
However, we might be unusual in this. (??)
It's not unusual at all. I have a taste for good whiskey. Last winter I finally finished a bottle of Knappogue Castle 1994. Surely I drank other kinds over the years - I'm fond of Laphroaig - but I may have two drinks a month, perhaps one drink a week between Thanksgiving and New Years. Sometimes I will go 2 or 3 months without a drink. I just don't think of it.
I may have 40 bottles of high end Scotch, Irish and Rye in my liquor cabinet. The average age is probably 15 years, and they probably represent a $3,000 investment, so I'm obviously not avoiding booze to save money.
My SO drinks about three beers per day — and up to six each weekend night. He doesn’t have any issues with it (doesn’t affect his job performance or how he is at home) but it just strikes me as a lot; this can’t be healthy. Am I being unreasonable?
Depends on his age.
Generally, young people can drink a lot.
I used to drink 1-2 weeknights and then just go nuts on the weekend.
Sometimes drinking F, Sa night and Sun day and I'd still get by. It was nuts how much I could drink.
These days, one weekend night of relatively moderate drinking and I'm out of commission for a day and half capacity for the next.
The best part about threads like this is watching people perform verbal gymnastics to prove a hazy point about how they don't drink that much, using words like "probably," "about," "usually," "a fair amount," "moderate," "a few," and my favorite, "...to unwind."
It's like when someone tells the doctor, "I really don't eat that much junk food, but I can't get rid of these last 15 pounds," and the doc tells them to use a food tracker, which tells the REST of the story.
Regardless of how high someone else's tolerance is, 30 beers a week may not be too much for the OP's boyfriend, but it sounds like it's too much for her.
Some people really have poor metabolisms or other issues that make losing weight difficult, but I had a friend who swore he ate about 3500 calories per day, which he admitted was a bit much but not terribly so. At the time he was 300 lbs and probably would have lost weight at 3500 calories. I suggested that he was eating 3500 calories by breakfast some days, so to prove me wrong he started a food diary. He kept it until 4 pm the first day, at which point he had consumed 5000 calories. He then got serious about his overeating and lost 80 lbs in the next year.
You need to be very careful to listen to your gut in this situation. Don’t rationalize something that you’re not comfortable with.
^^This^^ and, if this is the same man who you mentioned in a previous thread regarding your concerns about him and your relationship, your "gut" seems to be telling you a lot of things--and not just about his drinking habits.
This might not apply to everyone, but I've found that when people (including myself) ignore their gut instincts in any area of their lives, they do so at their own peril.
Trust what your instincts are telling you, don't move too quickly with this relationship, and be willing to cut bait and run if there are further things that seem "off" to you. You're the only one who can decide what you're comfortable with for the long haul in terms of the behavior of your partner.
That being said, be aware that life with a person who could very easily become a functional alcoholic is no picnic. (That is, if he's not one already. Remember: you barely know this person and you're still in the early stages of a relationship where most people tend to be on their very best behavior).
My SO drinks about three beers per day — and up to six each weekend night. He doesn’t have any issues with it (doesn’t affect his job performance or how he is at home) but it just strikes me as a lot; this can’t be healthy. Am I being unreasonable?
I haven't read the entire thread but based on this post it sorta sounds like a lot, but I don't know. A few beers after work and a bit more on the weekend to the non-drinker sounds like a lot.
I don't drink daily, I'll have a few on the weekend. I've known people that can drink a 6 pack of beer everynight and never miss a day of work. For some people 3 or 4 beers spread out over a few hours just isn't that much alcohol to them.
I guess in this situation it really depends on how the OP feels about it. It could or couldn't be a problem. Hard to say.
My SO drinks about three beers per day — and up to six each weekend night. He doesn’t have any issues with it (doesn’t affect his job performance or how he is at home) but it just strikes me as a lot; this can’t be healthy. Am I being unreasonable?
Being overweight/out of shape or smoking is far likelier to result in health problems and premature death that someone who drinks 30 beers a week. It's not even close.
You speak as if the two are not intertwined when they are. 30 beers a week is a lot of extra calories.
Basically it’s a lifestyle choice- that’s not a lifestyle I’d be comfortable living with.
Whether the guy is officially an alcoholic or not, I don't know (although I'm leaning toward yes on that one). But this ^^ would be the bottom line for me as well.
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