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I have decidedly not happened to enjoy New Yorkers in their native environment, in general.
I don't run into many who've relocated, here. But I recently was connected by a mutual acquaintance to a woman who just moved here for the husband's work, because our mutual acquaintance identified that we had some common backgrounds and interests. We connected initially via online chat. I do agree that we have some interests in common, that said, She had not even been in town 24 hours and was already finding fault with everything here and being super condescending. I hope she'll understand when I decline to hang out. It was very offputting.
I have not been to New York City, so my opinion is only based on the New Yorkers that I have met elsewhere, and that opinion is that the New Yorkers I have met are rude and/or abrasive and not people I would want as friends.
"Midwestern-nice", fake or not, is just fine with me, and my experience has been exactly like that of Rodentraiser's, and I also absolutely agree with Nov3, too. (Sorry I'm out of reps for now.) Btw, I think that Wisconsinites are the friendliest people I've ever met, and I have lived in, vacationed in, or at least traveled through about 40 states.
P.S. However, my mom, who was born in Ohio and lived there for 30 years, says that the small town Ohioans she knew were exactly as fake-friendly (gossipy and back-stabbing) as some people have described in this thread. However, that was not my experience when I lived there for one year as an adult.
Last edited by katharsis; 06-19-2019 at 06:24 AM..
I live in Midwest and I have family in NYC, I spent my childhood there. My family in NYC and in Detroit gossip the same but that is because we have big family & when you have family gathering people are going to say sh1t about each other. Not all of that gossip is behind peoples back, often times its straight to the face but maybe that is because we did spent our childhood in NYC & have that openness in us. I also have few inlaws in NYC but they don't seem to gossip as much but they are also small family & don't have as much family gathering.
I think people in Midwest do see their family/friends more often so have more things to talk about vs. in big cities those who meet family often are just the same but those who are busy surviving & not mingling much, don't engage in gossip or other people talk.
I don't know much about New York or New Yorkers. My sole experience with them was from working for an escrow company, and having to call tax collectors around the country.
New York City tax collectors were abrupt, and if you didn't have your information handy, and if you didn't get to the point, they would cut you off, and probably hang up on you. When you're a typical Midwesterner...it hits you as being pretty rude, and intimidating. LOL
Over time, I came to understand that they're busy people with an F**ked up system, and if you want to get along with a New York City tax collector...Get.To.The.Point. They don't want, and they certainly don't need the niceties that Midwesterners tend to put down. Don't ask them how they're doing, How's the weather? kind of stuff. They don't have time for it, and you will annoy them if you try to engage them that way. lol
Never heard "Midwest Nice." Certainly heard "Minnesota Nice." Minnesota Nice can cover passive aggression but it's actually pretty "nice" most of the time. The difference between Southern Hospitality or Manners and Minnesota Nice is that Minnesota Nice reserves judgement, but will speak up if something sounds ill advised.
Agreed. I picture it as my mom whispering: "beeee niiice!" If she thought I was going to be more 'truthful' than required. Not telling someone they smell, have had too much to drink, shouldn't be eating so much tator tot hotdish, isn't all that passive aggressive, it's just not wanting to be the b word, actually caring if you might hurt someone's feelings.
I'm glad I've slowly learned to stand up for myself when forced to choose though, and not put other's feelings first always. It's confusing when one is young, and can be insidious, especially in situations of abuse. (Be nice and sit on grandpa's lap).
I always thought Midwesterner 's were down to earth types, but after reading this thread...
I thought that too....at first. After living here for a year or 2, realized I was sorely mistaken. I'm sure I pissed some people off by saying I missed Atlanta, but they are so closed minded here. I just don't get the culture at all.
I thought that too....at first. After living here for a year or 2, realized I was sorely mistaken. I'm sure I pissed some people off by saying I missed Atlanta, but they are so closed minded here. I just don't get the culture at all.
Huh. As an Ohioan, I'd never considered Oklahoma to be the Midwest. It's always seemed more Southern/Southwestern.
Huh. As an Ohioan, I'd never considered Oklahoma to be the Midwest. It's always seemed more Southern/Southwestern.
Its technically "Plains", but same attitude as Midwest from everything I've seen/heard. Nothing like the real south, speaking as someone who grew up in the south and lived in the south until moving here. Huge cultural difference. I find most to be flaky and not authentic.
I always thought Midwesterner 's were down to earth types, but after reading this thread...
I don't know what being 'down to earth' is or what behaviors 'down to earth' encompasses.
I have no idea what it means.....to you.
Does it mean not being intellectual?
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