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I do agree and it is a good point, but that is probably more forced politeness than niceness, wouldn't you say? My take is we are only nice to people that we want to be nice to. It's impossible to be nice to everyone on every day, but people still use it to define personalities. "He's a nice guy" or "She's really friendly" and that is different from "She's a doormat".
Yeah, forced politeness (meant to manipulate in a sense). Heh - but it’s still being ‘nice’, yes? We never have a gauge as to a person’s inner thought process; we only can measure that which is visible on the outside.
Don’t get too emotionally invested in other people’s opinions on a forum (by caring what people notice or not), though it’s pretty funny you state you are ‘being mean’ on a ‘how nice is too nice’ thread.
If I'm going to be emotional then I'm going to be emotional. Telling me how to feel now? This might be online in a forum but it's STILL important. And I dare say I'm treating the forum more seriously then you are.
Someone overlooked something and I corrected them. I was perfectly calm when I said it. However, I'm now currently ticked off at you for telling me how to feel. You, someone that acts like a nice person, but then attempts to control me. I'm saying this very nicely with as much calm as I can muster. Please do not do that. I will feel what I feel and I invest in peoples opinions. Mine and others alike. Regardless of the environment which you used as an excuse. You do not control me and I will do what I damn well please. You're just telling me what to do because you don't approve. At least have the guts to say that instead of making demands.
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forced politeness
Doesn't that make it a lie about how you REALLY feel? And therefor mean to do, because it's dishonest? I overlooked manipulation itself because I can see situation where you can use that in good ways. But I can't say the same for lying. Frankly I want an honest answer. Not a fake smile. One can however "try to be nicer" in a tense situation. I suppose it depends on the context of the situations. But even there it comes down to reasons. Like "I'm moody but you didn't do anything and I shouldn't take it out on you". Admittance and honesty is what is nice to me.
Yeah, forced politeness (meant to manipulate in a sense). Heh - but it’s still being ‘nice’, yes? We never have a gauge as to a person’s inner thought process; we only can measure that which is visible on the outside.
I know we can’t measure it, but admit it, Cowboy, you are agreeing with me! We can’t measure it, but the person knows. We don’t have to prove it. JS.
I know we can’t measure it, but admit it, Cowboy, you are agreeing with me! We can’t measure it, but the person knows. We don’t have to prove it. JS.
Hold it. What exactly do you mean by "The person knows"? are you implying someone you're being nice too is a mind reader? Or that they know you're "forcing yourself to be nice"?
Even if someone knows you're forcing yourself to be nice does that in and of itself make the act itself nice? to them I mean.
I'm honestly trying to make sense of your statement. Keep in mind your perception of nice might not be the same as the person you're interacting with. They might know what you're doing but that doesn't necessarily mean they approve.
On the one hand you say it's something we can't measure. On the other hand you're claiming people know magically? That makes no sense.
Hold it. What exactly do you mean by "The person knows"? are you implying someone you're being nice too is a mind reader? Or that they know you're "forcing yourself to be nice"?
Even if someone knows you're forcing yourself to be nice does that in and of itself make the act itself nice? to them I mean.
I'm honestly trying to make sense of your statement. Keep in mind your perception of nice might not be the same as the person you're interacting with. They might know what you're doing but that doesn't necessarily mean they approve.
On the one hand you say it's something we can't measure. On the other hand you're claiming people know magically? That makes no sense.
Cowboy and a couple of other posters were making comments about manipulation and if it is being too nice or something else, then the subject of friendly politeness as a way to avoid someone came up. You’d have to read the string of posts the last couple of pages to follow it. He said it’s still nice, because you can’t measure it, but I say the person doing it still knows so it wouldn’t be.
I know we can’t measure it, but admit it, Cowboy, you are agreeing with me! We can’t measure it, but the person knows. We don’t have to prove it. JS.
Haha - but if the other person doesn’t know what is behind the ‘friendly hello’ as a way to avoid/move on quickly, then how can anyone say it isn’t being nice? It’s also being nice to be professionally friendly/distant (in some instances) rather than to go all bat crazy on them. THAT is what wouldn’t be nice - especially considering most don’t care. That said, I’ll be nice and just agree with you - lol.
Yeah, forced politeness (meant to manipulate in a sense). Heh - but it’s still being ‘nice’, yes? We never have a gauge as to a person’s inner thought process; we only can measure that which is visible on the outside.
Or you can ask, "Do you need something?" I like to know inner thought processes.
Or you can ask, "Do you need something?" I like to know inner thought processes.
I’m not following. If one is ‘professionally polite’ and in passing, says hello or participates in small talk around the office coffee station, why would someone ask this?
Even dogs and cats know to go to the "nice" ones to get what they want. I used to know a dog that zeroed in on the "nice" one in a group of people to get pets and treats, time and again, he remembered to go to that person. He also knew the "looks" to give and then putting one paw on the knee while making his "cute" look, it was so funny.
The question posted in the topic's title serves as its own answer. The word, "too," is operative in this case.
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