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I have a close friend who was married to wife #1 for about 6 years. Then wife #2 for only 2 or 3 years. He married wife #3 and everyone expected the marriage to end quickly as well. But, he fooled us. They have been married about 30 years and seem to be very happy together. I guess the first two women just were not the right woman for him.
Hmmm, I just realized that I have another male friend with a similar story. Wife #1 - about 2 years. Wife #2 - about 12 years. His marriage to wife #3 seems to be going strong at about 25 years.
I have a friend who’s sister just celebrated her 40th year of marriage. My friend who has been married a few times, said she was jealous. I said, well you’ve been married like 40 times... at least you’re not a quitter.!
I have a close friend who was married to wife #1 for about 6 years. Then wife #2 for only 2 or 3 years. He married wife #3 and everyone expected the marriage to end quickly as well. But, he fooled us. They have been married about 30 years and seem to be very happy together. I guess the first two women just were not the right woman for him.
Hmmm, I just realized that I have another male friend with a similar story. Wife #1 - about 2 years. Wife #2 - about 12 years. His marriage to wife #3 seems to be going strong at about 25 years.
I assume no kids and all wives worked? Otherwise, your friend will be broke and living on the streets after paying child support and alimony.
Not necessarily. I know men who who pay child support and alimony for three children. One will pay about 1/3 of his gross income until the children are 18, or 21 if still in school. The other pays about 25% of his gross salary. Neither are struggling, or poor or living in the street, and don't expect to be. By the time they retire there will be no payments. For the average person the laws have changed and are less favorable to the mother and children and more favorable to the husbands. And even if the mothers weren't working they are expected to by the time the children are in junior high school, and have to to make ends meet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
I assume no kids and all wives worked? Otherwise, your friend will be broke and living on the streets after paying child support and alimony.
I have a close friend who was married to wife #1 for about 6 years. Then wife #2 for only 2 or 3 years. He married wife #3 and everyone expected the marriage to end quickly as well. But, he fooled us. They have been married about 30 years and seem to be very happy together. I guess the first two women just were not the right woman for him.
Hmmm, I just realized that I have another male friend with a similar story. Wife #1 - about 2 years. Wife #2 - about 12 years. His marriage to wife #3 seems to be going strong at about 25 years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
I assume no kids and all wives worked? Otherwise, your friend will be broke and living on the streets after paying child support and alimony.
First friend - no kids, working spouses, so no child support and no alimony.
Second friend- First wife worked and one child - they shared custody so no child support and no alimony. Second wife worked and they shared custody so no child support and no alimony.
Frankly, I am 67 years old and have never even heard of any one of my female friends, acquaintances or co-workers who ever received alimony when they were divorced (even alimony for a brief time).
First friend - no kids, working spouses, so no child support and no alimony.
Second friend- First wife worked and one child - they shared custody so no child support and no alimony. Second wife worked and they shared custody so no child support and no alimony.
OK, lucky guy, sounds like he did not get ruined by divorce.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
Frankly, I am 67 years old and have never even heard of any one of my female friends, acquaintances or co-workers who ever received alimony when they were divorced (even alimony for a brief time).
Well alimony is mainly for SAHM who did not work for a number of years raising kids. Did you have any female friends in this situation? I believe alimony for six months for someone who is not old is pretty typical...
I don't understand why a lot of American guys are so interested in permanent SAHM when 50% of marriages end in divorce. SAHM = financial ruin after divorce
Pretty simple. They want their wife to raise their kids. A mother provides something a nanny or child care doesn't. It's about priorities and money isn't their main one. Kids and a family provide something money can't buy. If 50% of the marriages don't end in divorce, those are still pretty good odds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
OK, lucky guy, sounds like he did not get ruined by divorce.
Well alimony is mainly for SAHM who did not work for a number of years raising kids. Did you have any female friends in this situation? I believe alimony for six months for someone who is not old is pretty typical...
I don't understand why a lot of American guys are so interested in permanent SAHM when 50% of marriages end in divorce. SAHM = financial ruin after divorce
When you hear about people marrying and divorcing three times or more, is that a negative judgement on their character? Do some people like “getting married” more than “staring married”?
Some people thought of as really nice and friendly seem to change spouses more often than they buy new vehicles. And some people thought of as mean jerks stay married to the same spouse “till death do us part”.
There are all kinds of reasons for it, OP. Some people do simply like being married, whether they've found a good match or not. Others have their own personal issues to overcome, that get in the way of sizing up a good match until they've been through the process a couple of times.
I knew a woman who, when I met her, was going through a cycle of marriage and divorce. Since she was high on the social scale, I cynically chalked it up to the celebrity mentality, whatever that is. Decades later, I found out she'd grown up in a household with an alcoholic mother, which undeniably burdened her with psychological baggage, hindering her ability to make sound choices in a partner. The third time was a charm though; she finally met a great guy and stuck with him for the rest of his lifetime. Upon learning of her childhood experience, I felt bad about having been judgmental of her.
It takes some people a couple of tries before they get it right. And some people get married too young, before they have the maturity and wisdom to evaluate someone's character, vs. going for looks and whatever charm or excitement the partner offers, so they find themselves needing a do-over later on.
It takes some people a couple of tries before they get it right. And some people get married too young, before they have the maturity and wisdom to evaluate someone's character, vs. going for looks and whatever charm or excitement the partner offers, so they find themselves needing a do-over later on.
This
I had a $500K divorce settlement failed practice marriage. I chose poorly. My marriage to ex-wife v2.0 didn't survive her father blowing his brains out in the kitchen of the family house she owned where she found the body. I live with my girlfriend. At this point, it's a lifelong monogamous commitment regardless of whether we get married or not.
My late DH was married 3 times (I was #3). First marriage, about 5 years, they were both very young. Second marriage, about 10 years. With me, 34 years. He finally got it right.
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