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Vitamin D helped me tremendously. Take in the morning to avoid insomnia, and you may feel a difference in a week or so. Also, florescent lights can make it worse. Hopefully you don't have them in your new job.
My son had Social Anxiety Disorder which turned into agoraphobia where he wouldn't leave the house at all, not even to get the mail. He also had hyperhidrosis which exacerbated the problem. He is now on medication for both conditions and leads an almost normal life.
I am a 21 year old male. I have suffered with Social Anxiety pretty much all of my life. It has impacted me negatively. I always get nervous and uncomfortable when I am in social situations or around strangers. I never really had any friendships because of it. My household is the only place where I am fully comfortable. I decided I had enough. I am trying to challenge myself to overcome it.
I recently just got hired for my first job. I am working in a hospital cafe doing Utility/Stock. Eventually my manager is going to cross-train me to do Food Prep, Cashier, etc. I am very proud of myself for getting my first job. I made an appointment to speak to a therapist. She is pretty booked right now, but I really want to speak to her because I read her profile and I feel like she would be a great match for me. I am going to speak to her on September 14th, 2019.
I also plan on joining my local Toastmasters club to try to overcome my fear of public speaking and to try to improve my communication skills. My local club meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month. I am attending a meeting tomorrow as a guest to see what it's like.
I am taking steps to try to challenge my Social Anxiety. However, I would like to know from you guys how do you overcome it? If you have Social Anxiety or had it in the past, how do you manage it or overcome it?
I've had social anxiety issues for many years now. The 'problem' started in my late teens (around age 18/19) and has persisted to varying degrees to my current age (I'm 45 now). In my case, I recall instances in which I overreacted to a few social situations in which I felt threatened or embarrassed and these early instances made me much more hesitant and gun-shy in subsequent social situations.
I basically learned how to "fear" social situations and to ascribe potential "danger" to them because of these very early social experiences. I seemed to be traumatized by the feeling of humiliation and/or embarrassment that I felt when I became overly nervous in these previous social settings, settings in which I stumbled, stammered, or started shaking with nervousness. It started with a cute girl that I like back when I was working at a local mall in my late teenage years.
I had worked up the nerve to ask her out one day, and she basically said "no" by saying that she was so busy at the time and not really interested in dating then but would let me know. So she didn't actually say "NO" directly, but indirectly, which was not that big of a deal. People ask out people all the time, and sometimes people get turned down. But for me, since I was such a shy, introverted kid growing up, working up the courage to approach this girl and ask her out was a HUGE thing or me. It was tantamount to asking me to jump out of an airplane. But the real problem started when I had to see this girl again.
I worked at a local restaurant inside the mall, and this girl would frequently come into the restaurant to eat lunch with her co-workers. And I remember seeing her for the first time after I had asked her out. I was standing at the cash register, and I saw her and her group come into the restaurant. And as soon as I noticed her and her group, I experienced a huge rush of fear and embarrassment. I suddenly felt ashamed or embarrassed about having previously asker her out and her not accepting. Standing at the cash register, I felt naked and extremely vulnerable. I felt as if I were on stage and some huge spotlight was shining directly on me. I remember as she and her group approached the counter and started ordering their food that I could barely speak at the time. I felt overwhelmed by FEAR, like I was about to be led to the guillotine or something akin to that. Looking back, I was simply feeling embarrassed about having shown interest in her by asking her out and her subsequently turning me down softly. No big deal in the grand scheme of things. But back then, I felt mortified. I actually left the counter as her group was still ordering and simply went into a back room to basically hide. I had a mini- panic attack that day. My co-worker and/or manager (I can't remember exactly) had to come over and finish taking the group's order. I could not stand there and face her and feel such shame and/or embarrassment.
And that one incident sparked a very painful chapter in my life. From that point on, I was not the same person. I became extremely socially fearful and wary of speaking in public or putting myself on display for others to evaluate. I basically withdrew from life and led a very isolated, protected existence, at an age when I should have been out conquering the world and making something of myself. I soon became depressed and lonely. I did seek help at various times, and I even took various anti-depressants at times as well as some anti-anxiety medications, but I could never seem to "fix" the underlying cognitive process that was fueling the social anxiety problem in the first place.
And to this day, at age 45, I still have remnants of my old self. I still feel myself becoming flustered and feeling threatened in various social situations -- and it's extremely troubling. My life has not been what I would have wanted it to be -- and it's mainly because of the social anxiety problem and those early situations that seem to start the process. Put another way, I still don't feel truly "comfortable" or "safe" in social settings. I always think that I could become overwhelmed with fear and suffer some sort of panic attack in front of people, thereby embarrassing myself and lowering my social status or social value (presumably) in the eyes of others.
To this day, I feel awkward when having to sign a check in front of someone or when I have to write my name or sign a document in front of someone. I get a little flustered talking on the phone. At a restaurant, I sometimes feel anxious when having to order in front of the entire table. Making small talk with someone can be extremely trying. In college, I would sometimes intentionally miss the first day (or sometimes even the first week of class) in order to avoid having to potentially introduce myself to the class on Day 1 -- as many professors seem to require of their students. Social anxiety, for me, has been a big problem, a life-changing problem. It's almost as if I feel completely naked in front of people in certain instances.
Here is a little trick that has helped me. I imagine that I am an actor in a play. I picture of the most social, outgoing person I know and then try to pretend I am that person. What would they say and do? Then I say and do those things. It helps break the ice, and after a while I find I can relax and be myself.
Good advice! I find that I perform better socially when I allow myself to pretend, or to act. When I give myself free reign to be anybody that I choose to be in a particular situation, I seem to perform much better than I would if I were to follow my natural instincts to be more quiet and reserved. Not that there is anything wrong with being introverted and/or reserved and not particularly social; it's normal to be that way. But if a person seeks to become more social and/or outgoing, at least in specific situations, then it helps to be able to "turn it on" at times. I could often times be perfectly fine just sitting somewhere not saying anything or speaking to anyone. But when around others, making conversation or at least small talk is the polite, socially acceptable thing to do, so knowing how to do that is a vital social skill.
Personally, though, I do feel somewhat "phony" when I am being talkative and sociable. In those instances, I am often painfully aware of the fact that I am not being my so-called "real self" but am in fact simply wearing a social mask and/or playing a social role -- and I sort of feel fraudulent when doing that. I mean, we ALL wear masks at various times; our public faces often differ markedly from our private faces -- so in that case, we are all actors playing roles. We filter things, hide things, manufacture things, etc., in order to function properly in society, so it's a given that we are not always being authentic or "real" for lack of a better word. But nevertheless I feel sort of guilty for simply being an actor on stage.
I've dealt with social anxiety my entire life. I had a therapy group for many years, through which I learned a lot of important lessons about how people think and how negative thinking keeps anxiety alive.
These days, I'm taking improv theater classes. I've found it gives me something to look forward to, while pulling me out of my comfort zone on a regular basis. And as a few others have noted, acting gives me a chance to pretend to be someone else, which is somehow easier than being myself at times.
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Never, unfortunately. I spent too much of my life bottled up so it's just normal to me. And yes, I've tried different things, nothing worked. Now inching closer to middle age, I've settled in my ways. It was a coping mechanism I learned in childhood.
Never, unfortunately. I spent too much of my life bottled up so it's just normal to me. And yes, I've tried different things, nothing worked. Now inching closer to middle age, I've settled in my ways. It was a coping mechanism I learned in childhood.
I think it is perfectly OK to accept yourself just as you are. Not everyone has to be social. I am still struggling with accepting my own shyness and introversion. It doesn't help that human beings are programmed to be pack animals. People who are not outgoing get shunned as "loners" and seen as somehow threatening to the rest of the herd.
Vitamin D helped me tremendously. Take in the morning..
yeah, I'm also a believer in Vitamin D, as an aid treating mental illnesses.
I'm curious if any posters here experience (tightness) headaches around their eyes, when they feel socially anxious, or agoraphobia. And how have you treated them (?)
Thanks..
yeah, I'm also a believer in Vitamin D, as an aid treating mental illnesses.
I'm curious if any posters here experience (tightness) headaches around their eyes, when they feel socially anxious, or agoraphobia. And how have you treated them (?)
Thanks..
I don't experience this but I know someone. One trick is to drink more water. I have no idea why is this. You can try.
I am a 21 year old male. I have suffered with Social Anxiety pretty much all of my life. It has impacted me negatively. I always get nervous and uncomfortable when I am in social situations or around strangers. I never really had any friendships because of it. My household is the only place where I am fully comfortable. I decided I had enough. I am trying to challenge myself to overcome it.
I recently just got hired for my first job. I am working in a hospital cafe doing Utility/Stock. Eventually my manager is going to cross-train me to do Food Prep, Cashier, etc. I am very proud of myself for getting my first job. I made an appointment to speak to a therapist. She is pretty booked right now, but I really want to speak to her because I read her profile and I feel like she would be a great match for me. I am going to speak to her on September 14th, 2019.
I also plan on joining my local Toastmasters club to try to overcome my fear of public speaking and to try to improve my communication skills. My local club meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month. I am attending a meeting tomorrow as a guest to see what it's like.
I am taking steps to try to challenge my Social Anxiety. However, I would like to know from you guys how do you overcome it? If you have Social Anxiety or had it in the past, how do you manage it or overcome it?
First of all, I hope you don't get all self-conscious, but how incredibly sweet
Well done about everything and most of all about your attitude! I can't say I have social anxiety, rather I'm pretty comfortable socially. But there ARE a few areas where I stumble on my anxiety and I take steps to overcome it. For example if I get anxious about failing at something work or study related, first I remind myself that failing is also ok. Second I just try to do my best and focus on what I have to do. Mostly it works :P and for the times when it doesn't I talk with friends or family about it and get a well needed boost. A hug is also nice
But hey, again, well done and have fun with everything!
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